Thank you so much for your advice! I agree. I worked to push his activity times yesterday, and surprisingly, he did great. I don't know if it was just a happy day or what, but he was not his usual fussy complaining self...he was so pleasant for once.
He does not show tired signs, except for the the fussiness, so I wasn't sure when to put him down for naps and was tempted to just keep him up to see if we could make 3 hours. We easily made it to 2.75 hour A times between first two naps and he went down easily for his first nap and slept 2 hours (well, actually I woke him at 2 hours). Then the second nap, he actually played for a few minutes, then went right to sleep and slept just shy of 1.5 hours. I then had a large gap until bedtime, which is usually 8pm, although I know I should put him down earlier. Dad doesn't get home until around 7:30pm, so we try to leave a few minutes for him to give the last bottle.
Anyway, we put him down around 7:30pm, which was still too late and he was overtired (it was a little over 3 hour A time for that last stretch). Although he still never got fussy, just tired! He woke at 9pm and barely cried out and went right back to sleep on his own. Then woke at 10:45pm, went back to sleep on his own, and continued to wake every hour or two through the night (which I had to resettle with paci) until I finally put him in the swing at 3am and I haven't heard from him since. I normally would never let him sleep in the swing, but I figured he needed to be able to stay asleep, and obviously that wasn't going to happen since he was overtired.
So if he wakes from his last nap at say, 4:30pm, should I just aim for a 7:30pm betime to keep that 3 hour A time there? We're not there yet, as his last nap ends earlier still.
Also, you think if he wanted to take both naps at 2 hours, it wouldn't affect his night sleep? So it's really just the catnap that has been making him nightwake, since it's rather close to his bedtime? That makes since.
I will keep working on his A times. I'm not sure what to do today as he may be extra tired from the night? I'm writing this at 6:15am, so I'll go get him at 7am and start the day again and just see how it goes.
Thank you so much for your help.
I feel like I am constantly learning, learning, learning. Things are always changing. I'm sure next it will be teeth.