6 month old - Nap changes and fussiness

[jennfullwood]

Hello Moms,

My baby boy is six months old this week and a great sleeper. We've followed BW since birth and have a very textbook routine for 6 month old (4 hour EASY, two naps with short catnap). My baby seems to be very sensitive to his amount of day sleep though, and if allowed to sleep even minutes too long during the day, he begins to nightwake. I've figured this out over months of trial and error.

Right now, at six months, it seems that the most he can sleep during the day is 3.5 hours, and if allowed more, he will wake at night and have a hard time going to sleep at his bedtime. At first I thought this was due to overtiredness and treated it as so, but after problem solving, I figured he was actually undertired at bedtime. My baby has no problem going to sleep and sleeping through the night if he is tired enough and has had long enough A times.

My issue is this. At 4 months he became very fussy during the day and this has continued to present. Between 5 and 6 months, his naps lengthened from 1.5 hours to two hours. He seems to be getting tired/very fussy much quicker and he is wanting to take longer naps during the day. (He also started small amount of solids at 5 months, sitting up, and rolling both ways at 5 months). I usually always have to wake him from his naps now at 1.5 hours because I know he will at least need another 1.5 hour nap in the afternoon and then he still needs his catnap, although I have shortened it to 30 minutes.  I would let him sleep the full two hours, but when I do this, his nightwaking begins (when he wakes at night, he usually starts waking around 2am, and will wake again around 4am and 6am. He will resettle with a pacifier, but normally he never uses a pacifier for sleep. We have a hard time making it to his 7am waketime when sleeps too much during the day). He is just extremely fussy and seems tired during the day. He is usually fairly content for the first hour after waking from a nap, but then begins to fuss and continues to get fussier as naptime gets closer until he is in full crying mode.  Right now I have his activity time at about 2.25 in the morning and close to 2.5 hours in the afternoon and evening. I feel that maybe his crying could be developmental. He seems very bored with all of his toys. He will not stay in his bouncer or jumper. He does not want to be held either, so I don't feel it is a separation issue at this point. I've been looking for teeth for months, but no teeth yet and no signs of them. He just seems generally unhappy and will eventually work himself into a full crying fit, which does make him tired earlier.

Have any of you experienced this before? Is it just a transitional thing? I would love to give him more day sleep, as it does help with his fussing and crying. But I can certainly tell it affects his night sleep. Should I just continue how I am by waking him from his naps? I would love to have a happy baby again. Any advice on how to handle this moving forward?

Thank you for your input!

Jenny

[amayzie]

Hi hon- Yup- this age my guy was ALWAYS WHINGING!! They are just cranky and want to DO SOMETHING- but can't move yet! It is a phase, my guy was happier when he could sit up, and even happier when he could crawl! I cant remember hat i did to manage it.. i think i complained a lot.. and GOT OUT OF THE HOUSE!! He was happier in the pram or carrier looking at the world rather than at home.

As far as naps- i would sugest that you keep pushing up the A time and work on losing the cat nap- that will give you some more flexibility with your naps- he could sleep for as long as he wants' or needs without it affecting the nights. At this age the cat nap can be more trouble than it's worth to be honest. You might need the a times to be closer to 3 hours, and bring bed time forward when you don't have it. It is worth it as once you re over this hump things smooth out for a little while.

[jennfullwood]

Thank you so much for your advice! I agree. I worked to push his activity times yesterday, and surprisingly, he did great. I don't know if it was just a happy day or what, but he was not his usual fussy complaining self...he was so pleasant for once. He does not show tired signs, except for the the fussiness, so I wasn't sure when to put him down for naps and was tempted to just keep him up to see if we could make 3 hours. We easily made it to 2.75 hour A times between first two naps and he went down easily for his first nap and slept 2 hours (well, actually I woke him at 2 hours). Then the second nap, he actually played for a few minutes, then went right to sleep and slept just shy of 1.5 hours. I then had a large gap until bedtime, which is usually 8pm, although I know I should put him down earlier.  Dad doesn't get home until around 7:30pm, so we try to leave a few minutes for him to give the last bottle.

Anyway, we put him down around 7:30pm, which was still too late and he was overtired (it was a little over 3 hour A time for that last stretch). Although he still never got fussy, just tired! He woke at 9pm and barely cried out and went right back to sleep on his own. Then woke at 10:45pm, went back to sleep on his own, and continued to wake every hour or two through the night (which I had to resettle with paci) until I finally put him in the swing at 3am and I haven't heard from him since. I normally would never let him sleep in the swing, but I figured he needed to be able to stay asleep, and obviously that wasn't going to happen since he was overtired.

So if he wakes from his last nap at say, 4:30pm, should I just aim for a 7:30pm betime to keep that 3 hour A time there? We're not there yet, as his last nap ends earlier still.

Also, you think if he wanted to take both naps at 2 hours, it wouldn't affect his night sleep? So it's really just the catnap that has been making him nightwake, since it's rather close to his bedtime? That makes since.

I will keep working on his A times. I'm not sure what to do today as he may be extra tired from the night? I'm writing this at 6:15am, so I'll go get him at 7am and start the day again and just see how it goes.

Thank you so much for your help. I feel like I am constantly learning, learning, learning. Things are always changing. I'm sure next it will be teeth.

[jennfullwood]

Also, how long do you think I should keep the early bedtime? Do you think once his A time becomes longer, I can put his betime back to 8pm? When do you think that would that happen, around 7-8 months maybe? Thank you.

[amayzie]

I feel like I am constantly learning, learning, learning. Things are always changing. I'm sure next it will be teeth.

This is it! Honestly- after you drop the cat nap it is easier for a few months- 2 naps is a really nice place to be- you just need to do the odd A time push- but it doesn't affect too much.

As far as nap length- it's up to you- but i've not actually ever woken my guy at the 2 hour mark. Others SWEAR by letting them sleep no longer- but it never really affected his night sleep- not at this age- if he slept longer. Especially in the morning. So i'd possibly just let him go for that first nap (that's what i'd personally do- it's up to you of course what you do) as that will help fill the day.

What time is he up in the morning? they generally need 12 hours over night- with a feed or 2 in there till closer to 9 months... so if he is going to bed at 8 he needs to be sleeping til at least 7.30 or so to be getting  good sleep in... You should be able to put BT back to 8pm once you get te A times up and the day stretches nicely from 8am-8pm. The other thing to consider is whether you need dad having the time n the evening- can he instead wake up early and have some time in the morning? perhaps feeding breakfast? having a play? that might make it easier at the end of the day. Keeping babies up to see dad can be really tricky....

[jennfullwood]

Well, so far I've only been able to get him to sleep until 7...a few times to 7:30am. The 7:30am time came when I shortened his catnap to 30 min, so I think maybe dropping the catnap altogether might help him sleep a little later in the morning. He has never done well with a dreamfeed (he wakes more at night), so I don't give him one. He does wake about 4:30am for a bottle and goes back down easily. He woke right at 7am this morning in his swing. He skipped his early morning feeding for the first time...guess he was pretty tired. But he seemed to wake happy.

Dad leaves the house at 5:30am right now and gets home late too, so it's unfortunate. He has a very busy job right now, but it is temporary. But for sure we'll make bedtime no later than 7:30pm. And for now, I will put him down earlier around 7 and that will just be how it has to be for awhile until he can adjust a bit. It is trickly...I wish we could work it another way, but there really is no other time for Dad to see baby at all. But I will have him try to make it home as early as possible so he can at least have a couple of minutes.

I really appreciate your time and advice. It helps greatly. I may write again over the next few days with more questions if that is ok. Thank you!

[amayzie]

AH- what a pity for you that you he has to work such long hours. Glad that it's only temporary though- that's one thing! And what long hours for you at home! I can't WAIT for DH to get home to do the bath and such! I am DONE by then! However- as i said, this is a transition and you may need to have the early bed time to stave off OT, but should be able to revert to your usual schedule once it's settled- as in you sort of need to do the 3-2 first then you can start moving bed time slowly back again..

[jennfullwood]

Amayzie,

Well our nap transition has taken a bad turn. I tried lengthening his activity times towards 3 hours and he seemed to be doing really well and taking good naps during the day. But trouble came at night when we tried to put him down for early bedtime, it didn't work, and putting him down at normal bedtime didn't work either. He actually seemed like maybe he wasn't tired enough, but then when we would lay him down, he acted the same either way, lots of crying, wouldn't self-soothe, hyper, moving around a lot and rubbing face once in crib, rolling all over the crib. Then he would night wake through the night. The first night or two he didn't start waking until around 2am, but the next night he woke at 9pm, 10pm, and then continued through the night. I would have to put him in the swing to sleep, finally resorting to swaddling his arms and then using the swing just to get any length of sleep from him. For the past two days, I've resorted back to our 3 nap schedule to try to give him shorter A time and more sleep. Still, last night was the worst night yet. He woke up at 11pm and then literally was in and out every few minutes all night long. I let him use the paci through all these nights to try to soothe him. Last night, even with paci, swing, and arm swaddling, he woke all through the night, countless times. I actually sleep on the floor in his room because he woke so often. I wondered if we would make it to morning.

So what do you think I should do? He is cranky and hasn't been able to harldy make a 2 hour 15 min A time. I just put him down for first nap after 2 hours. He started screaming/rubbing eyes after 1.5 hours A time. I don't know if this is the right thing to do or not, but I put him straightway in his swing for his nap, hoping to get a two hour nap out of him (he has always slept very well in swing, even though I rarely allow it). Should I do this all day and try to get long naps to help him catch up on sleep?

I'm not quite sure how this happened. It kind of snowballed on us, as he seemed to be doing ok with the transition until we got to nights, then all of a sudden extreme waking. Any advice on how I should handle this? It has to be overtiredness, right? With the early night waking, I'm sure that's what it is. But he also had vaccinations and flu shot on Friday, so I'm wondering if that could be contributing?

I am so worried about how I can get him back on track. I would GREATLY appreciate any advice or thoughts you have. Thank you!

[amayzie]

Oh no!! It could be that he needed a day or so of catch up... A couple of things though could be contributing- the vaccination could be affecting him- even just from pain in the site. The 6 month growth spurt- this was MASSIVE for us- lots of waking!! hen are you feeding him at night? If it's a growth spurt you may just need to feed him a couple of times in the night for a few days- usually passed in a week.

If you think it's OT (as you say the early night waking is often this) then some catch up days could work. Sometimes doing things like a day with no cat nap alternating with a day with a cat nap can help to stave off OT- or 2 days no cat nap 1 day with cat nap, if you get me...

You WILL get back on track- i'm wondering now though about the night waking and a growth spurt- or that with a bit of OT also. Remember too that you can get some AWESOME night waking with under tired also- but usually that's the classic 'cot party' in the early hours- rock star style!

[jennfullwood]

Oh thank you for your support.  It's 1:30 am and I should be sleeping but I'm just too wired! I tried to play catch up today with shorter A times. He took a 1.75 hour nap in am, 1.5 hour nap in afternoon, and then 30 min catnap (but I had him in the swing to keep him asleep, so I'm sure he would not have slept that long in his crib). Tried to put him down at normal bedtime tonight and he screamed his little head off! He just didn't seem tired!?  I brought him out for about 15 minutes and he immediatly stopped crying and then I tried again and same thing...screaming. Had to put him in the swing again which I hate, but he went right to sleep. (But usually the swing puts him to sleep even if not tired). Then he woke at 12am and he has been in and out of sleep for the past 1.5 hours. I did just feed him at 1:30am and he downed a full bottle and he went down easily afterwards in his crib. (He will always eat if offered though, big eater). So hard to tell if true hunger. He just ate his last feed at 7:30pm so could he already be hungry? I am just waiting for him to wake up minutes later though, which is what he has been doing. It's been very hard for him to stay asleep for more than 30 minutes the past two nights. It's like he is wide awake, so I think adrenaline...OT....but I really do not know at this point.  I do normally always feed him around 4:30 or 5:00am, but never this early in the night. But maybe he has been hungry. This is just not like him at all. He is very spirited/touchy though, so any little thing can really throw him for a loop. He seems very fidgity and restless, jerky movements at night.  And I don't think he has ever had a crib party! Everything is crying with him, even undertired. It's always been that way, so very hard to tell the difference.

So back to square one. Not sure if UT, OT, hungry....shots... I think tomorrow I will just start fresh and try to get full A times and just let him nap what he wants. Then probably do an early bedtime after two naps and see where that gets us.

I do keep telling myself that this will pass I am sure. But when you are in the thick of it, it seems like their sleep will be ruined forever. He is still asleep though, and almost 2am.  My eyes are crossing so I'm going to go try to lay down and hope that he doesn't start screaming as soon as I hit the pillow. I will probably write more in the morning. Thank you again for your help.  I do appreciate it much!