You are quite right! I realised that his A times were too short - due to exhaustion from the trip, I think, he was struggling to progress past 2 hours, but by gradually increasing 15min every 3 days, we are now at 2hrs45 minutes. His first nap is now regularly over an hour (still haven't made it past 1.5 hours though), though his second is still 45 minutes.
Sh/pat is also working; he is settling easily now, in his cot, rather than trying to insist on falling asleep on my shoulder. Though he is 7 1/2 months, he still likes a gentle shush close to his ear.
However, his night sleeping is still awful - every 2 hours is a 'good' night, and the last two days he has woken up at 5am.
This is an approximate schedule:
6am E, BF
7.30 solids
8.30 E BF (he struggles holding out longer than 3 hours, so I have to fit in another one before his nap)
8.45 S
10.15 (if we're lucky; earlier if not) A
11.30 E, BF
12.30 solids
1.00 S
1.45 A
2.30 E, BF
3.45 solids
4.30 CN (especially if the first nap was short, which pushes the whole day forward)
5.15 A, bath
5.45 or so E, BF
bed some time between 6 and 7
DF around 9pm
Then he wakes roughly every 2 hours until 3 or 4 am, when it's every hour or 45 minutes until I can't get him to settle again and the day begins!!!!!
Basically I'm trying to keep to a 3 hour BF schedule, fitting solids in between, and adapting A and S times around gradually increasing his A times, and adjusting the schedule for short naps.
I have some questions please:
1) I'm going to carry on increasing A times gradually - is improved napping the best indicator of when the length is right? He's a mostly angel baby, so noting his sleepy signs is quite difficult.
2) In those NWs, he usually wakes abruptly, and makes what I think of as his hungry cry (cough at the back of his throat). So I have been feeding him when he wakes. But can this be habit and/or manipulation, at his age? Sometimes he starts falling asleep immediately and I have to really struggle to prevent him falling asleep on the breast. Or alternatively he will drink a full 6 or 7 minutes at 4am, and then wake coughing at 5 again. Sometimes, after a day of good feeds and solids, he will settle with sh/pat at night, though he's woken with the hungry cry. I'm not sure how to interpret things. Any suggestions?
3) Even if it is hunger, has he been trained to find the sensation of slight hunger something he doesn't have to sleep through, since if he wakes I'll feed him? Then could we try a 'cold turkey' style intervention, insisting on only one night feed after the DF, using sh/pat and PU/PD until he learns? Or should I rather try a gradual approach, delaying the feed interval by 5 minutes incrementally, making him wait using sh/pat?
Thank you in advance for your help; I feel so grateful that I have a forum like this of experienced mothers to turn to!
