Reading the forum I appear to be doing shh/pat incorrectly. I hold my LO until he falls asleep. At night he seems to mostly be able to self soothe. Of course it's hit or miss. Same with the naps. It seems odd/awkward to do shh/pat in their bed considering back sleep. And talk about breaking your back to do it in their bed!?
At 5 weeks, I would definitely do shh/pat in your arms to settle him and then lay him down. He can be all the way asleep, partly asleep, or just drowsy (depending on his temperament and your call). Gradually, as he gets older, you will just do the 4Ss til he's calm and then put him down, going back to shh/pat him in the crib if needed. To shh/pat in the crib, are you able to raise the mattress at all? That's where we always started and it wasn't hard for me to bend over just a bit to shh/pat. I always laid them down on their back and when I needed to shh/pat, I rolled them to their side a bit, holding across their chest with one arm, shhing near their face and patting their back. It really is amazing how well it works. Of course, some babies don't care for it, so you can stroke their forehead, rub their hip, whatever helps them to calm.
Also I feel like I am going to end up with a light sleeper. Turning off lights and shutting everything down for naps. I would guess if all were having this problem we wouldn't hear so many people being into BW?
Again, this is your call. I have read other places where people put LO down in various rooms and environments so he gets used to sleeping with other stuff going on. I think Tracy called for what she did out of respect for the baby. We wouldn't expect a toddler or adult to get restorative sleep in the middle of a noisy room, so I don't know why we expect babies to do the same. I do think there's something to be said for teaching a baby to sleep while out and about and helping them be a little flexible, but honestly a lot of that boils down to personality as well. I have one LO who would happily nap in the Ergo carrier anywhere we went, one who wouldn't sleep for anything while out but happily slept in the car on the way there and back, and one who is a bit of a combination. It's just the way they're wired. At home, they all sleep with the shades drawn and a fan on in their rooms.
What am I doing wrong/different other than holding baby to deep sleep? Sounds like some people leave LO in bed when they cry? I can't do that. To me that's CIO even if I'm next to him.
You're not doing anything wrong. It's rare to be able to put such a tiny baby down and shh/pat them to sleep. Some people do do shh/pat in the crib while baby is crying (an older baby will do that), but it's not CIO. CIO is leaving a baby to cry without you being there. It causes undue stress on a LO, while if you're there with him, he is reassured by your presence and is not under stress, just communicating that he needs help.
I've will now lay him down once he's calm and relaxed and keep my hands on him, but if he cries I plan on PU and soothe. I know it says PU/PD is for older babies, and admittedly not reading the books, I understand it is due to energy they burn. But seems as though laying in bed crying would burn as much if not more and give my LO more gas if he is crying longer.
Actually, you are doing shh/pat by picking him up and calming him. Have you read the shh/pat link?
Shush-pat - How to It IS basically a very modified form of PUPD. However, in PUPD, you don't necessarily wait for baby to calm in your arms and then keep him that way. You put him down sometimes when he hasn't calmed and it is a more stimulating experience.
I highly suggest you read Tracy's books. They are extremely well-written, very insightful, and the best books I can recommend. Continue reading the FAQs on the site as well, but the real philosophy comes from Tracy herself.
