Someone HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[meldee]

I've read through many of the messages and they have been very helpful, but now I m feeling lost! 

Let's start at the beginning:
My son Jhett (jet) will be 4 months next week. He has never been a good sleeper! Our first night home from the hospital he finally went to sleep at 5 am . I should have known then that we were doomed! We spent weeks wondering why he was screaming in pain and spitting up so much. Finally at a party some mothers told me that his behavior wasn't normal. That night I found blood around his nostril. The Dr diagnosed him with reflux and put us on meds and a colic formula to supplement my bm. They didn't help, so we were off to a gastro specialist. The nurse didn't seem to think it was an allergy, but now that i have eliminated milk and soy from my diet, Did I mention that I starved him for his first 2 weeks because I wasn't nursing him correctly. 

Jhett is a happier baby. Last week we were on vacation with my in-laws when he was dubbed Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I wasn't happy!

Jhett has a difficult time falling asleep. A swing, car seat or bouncy chair have never made him sleepy, instead he would scream. I would walk around and do the sleepy time dance (bouncing, shaking, rocking, patting). Now that he is 15lb, I can't do it!!!! I would also spend my afternoons holding him so that he would sleep long than 20 minutes  or wake up screaming.  I've begun the sh/pat, and it has decreased his fall asleep time, but I worry that I am doing it incorrectly. I dont want to start another sleep crutch. The sh/pat has really helped with naps. We started it Friday, but he is still screaming to go to sleep. Will the crying ever stop? 

At night he goes down between 7:30-8:00 depending on how long it took us to get him to sleep. He'll stir 40-45 minutes later. My husband goes in and puts him back to sleep. He wakes up if I do it. My husband will dreamfeed at 10pm. Jhett will wake up at 1:30. I put him back to sleep. Then wakes at 3:30 and I bf. He continually wakes up every 45 minutes until I finally decide we are up for the day about 6:30/7:00. About 5 am his reflux begins to act up and I give up any hope of getting him back to sleep or to even eat. Our schedule is something like this depending on how well he goes down for his nap and stays asleep.

7:00 wake up and eat
8:30 Begin nap routine
10:30/11:00 wake up and eat
12:30 begin nap routine
1:30 wake up (if I'm lucky) and eat
2:30 Begin nap routine
3:00 wake up and eat
4:30 nap
5:15 wake up
6:30 bed time routine
7-7:30  (sometimes 8:30) asleep
10-10:30 DF
1:30 wake up and put back to sleep
3:30 bfeed
4:30 wake up and back to sleep
5:30 wake up and back to sleep
6:30 wake up and back to sleep

our activities include hide and seek, songs, playing with stuffed animals, reading books, swinging in swing. They vary with the time of day.
I guess I would like to make certain I am doing the sh pat correctly. Perhaps some insight to what I am doing wrong would be great! I really need help. I'm sleep deprived and feeling like a complete failure!!!! 

[sweetemma]

Stacy- I see you asked about the long nap in the morning and the rest being short.  What does this mean, and should it be changed?

Thanks

[meldee]

Stacy,
We begin our routine with a story on the glider. I will bf. We say goodbye to the sun and hed off to his room to sing a song and rock. He has now begun to whimper at the reading of the story. Before putting him down we will put him on our shoulder and pat his back as we shush him. The we say Mommy and Daddy love you (kiss) time for night-night (kiss). As I place him down I will shush toward his ear and pat his back if he is upset. I have only had one time that he wasn't crying once he hit the matress. We wil pick him up if we think it will help calm him, and put him back down with more patting and shushing. Once he begins to drift off we will slow down the patting and shushing. We will do this for 7-10 minutes. I stay by him for another 10 minutes. Then I return to the room at 35-40 minutes to help him stay asleep. Pat Shush never seem to help at this point. My dh can do it, but I end up bf him back to sleep. Sometimes that works. I tried wake to sleep today without much success. I will try it again tomorrow.

The df is formula (Almentum). We dont think he  really like the taste of it when he is awake. I was wondering if he was hungry after the 3 am feed as well. I'm going to try to bf and then chase it with a bottle tonight. It's justy so hard to pump while he is awake.

His mattress is on an incline. We use the Dr. brown bottles. Gas is still an issue, he will wince when he toots or wake if he's sleeping. That first nap is the easiest to get him down. I will try to cut it shorter, but how long should he sleep at that time?

I REALLY appreciate your prompt response! I will let you know how things go tomorrow. We also have an appointment with the gastro.

[Zoey]

Hi Meldee.

Wow, girl I could have written your post a few months ago.  Word for word.  In fact I took my son to the ER the night of the first day we were home from the hospital because he wouldn't stop crying.  I feel your pain here. 

Let me first say that nothing is going to improve in the sleep/crying dept until his pain is under control.  He needs some medication and a proper dose of it.  Also, we also do the Dr Browns and Alimentum (well did, we recently weaned to regular similac).  Are you using the ready to feed alimentum?  If not, you may want to switch for a better effect. 

Second, it does get better.  Gets better faster with the right dose and medication.  Be a squeaky wheel with your doctor.  The medications usually take a 1 to 2 weeks to see some effect from them.  I would sit him upright for 30 mins after all feeds - we use a baby einstein dvd after each meal, and sit him in the bouncer seat.  Burp him well, but don't bump his back - use a rubbing motion, rub upwards.  The incline on the mattress should be high - have you seen a tucker sling? 

Here are some links - I hope this helps some.  I am sorry your LO is going through this.  It does get better.  Don't be afraid to keep calling your MD if things aren't improving.  Just keep calling until you get the results you need.   Good Luck at the Gasto MD.

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=13.0 - Flux board
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=4859.0 - Gas massage
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=65742.0 - Sleep and the Flux baby
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=65742.0 - Tucker sling
http://www.infantreflux.org/ - more about reflux
Love,
Zoey

[meldee]

Last night was great! We lost our late afternoon nap because he slept later than usual. He also took an earlier bath and went to bed early than he had been over the past few days. He slept until 10:00 (and he was a little difficult to get down after that). Finally he was back asleep at 11:30. He didn't wake until 3 am!!!! I bf and chased it with a bottle of bf. He only drank and oz of it. He then slept until    5 am! His reflux woke him up and he was very difficult to get back down after than point. His naps during the day were great. He even fell asleep in the car on the way to the dr appointment. He has not done that since he was a few weeks old!
As for the sh/pat
We don't let him fall asleep on our shoulder we just consul him until he calms down. Then we put him down and pat his back until he falls asleep and continue to do it for about 7-10 minutes depending on how deep of a sleep he is in. Right now my dh is attempting to put him down after i have been trying for 45 minutes. The little guy is screaming a though he were being severely hurt. The gatro nurse pract told us that he is just fussy, that reflux may or may not be the issue since the pepcid isn't helping that much..... so she basically told us we were bad parents. I wish she could hear his screams. Perhaps she may have something different to say..
I really need help. Any one live in NJ and willing to help us! 

[Zoey]

You need a second opinion.  Look for another MD to see, that is an unacceptable response, I'm sorry.  Please, do not be afraid to go elsewhere and get the help your baby needs.  You are his advocate, keep going until you are satisfied with the results.  Personally and this is MY OPINION only - I think Pepcid is crap. 

You are not a bad parent, do not ever think that.  Look through the links I posted and go over to the Flux board, they were SO much help to me.  They will most likely tell you to get another opinion too.  Also, do some research, people tend to feed you less crap when you know exactly what you're talking about - KWIM? 

Let me know if I can help.
Zoey

[meldee]

I've clamed down and realized that I have overcome much larger obsticals than this. I love my little man and will whatever it takes to help him get through this time. The message board has given me a lot of strength to get through this and I am SOO GREATFUL that this was put together for motehrs like me!
I think I'm going to go out and purchase some earplugs!!!!!!!

[Zoey]

 

[Silas Mum]

Oh my ... you are having a rough time!  I thought I'd chime in here and tell you that my LO had reflux and has now seemed to "grow out if it".  We were on Alimentum as well and were only using the ready to feed, as it is the only way it is sold in Canada.  My Mum was in the States and bought the powdered Alimentum, as it was a bit cheaper.  When we went to the powdered, we noticed an immediate difference in LO.  I don't know why, but we did.  We decided to change formulas 2 weeks ago, as the Alimentum was just way, way, way too expensive.  We've kept up the Zantac (don't want to change too many things at once) and started on a different formula.  It was a brutal first week, but now we are starting the third week and we see no side effects. 
Our LO was crying something terrible too, but it all changed overnight when we took him to the Chiropractor.  I never believed in Chiros, but I am all for them now!  The Chiro said LO was "all off to the left".  I cannot tell you the number of people who've told me now, that the Chiro solved all the crying problems!  On an interesting note, we just moved to a new subdivison, and our neighbour is a Chiro.  I was talking to him the other night, while watering the flowers, and he said about 40% of his business is now infants.  He said every single infant he's treated, the treatments have worked!  'Just thought I'd mention it ... 'cause I tried everything too and nothing worked.  Hang in there!!