Really need some help

[babylera]

Hello Baby Whisperers! I come looking for help with getting my daughter to sleep. My name is Elena.

My baby is 3 months old and she HATES sleep. Let me describe:

Putting her to sleep during the day takes an hour, if I'm lucky. I did shush/pat, PU/PD as well as techniques from the "No-Cry Sleep Solution." She just keeps on crying and even when I pick her up and rock her, she doesn't really calm down. I wouldn't even mind if she slept in my arms at this point, but she doesn't do that either. The only way she can fall asleep is if I'm walking with her in stroller (forward motion only). But I live in the Midwest and it's very cold here now. I can't even find clothes warm enough to have her be outside, nor is this a sustainable scenario. She also will sometimes fall asleep in the sling and only sleep if I am briskly walking around the house with her in there.

If I do manage to get her down for a nap in some way, she wakes up 30-45 minutes later and basically will not go back to sleep unless I put her in a sling and run around the house. I tried wake to sleep for quite some time. It doesn't matter to her if I am there when she is starting to stir and if I apply pressure and rock her as she jolts. The other technique of stirring her a bit early hasn't worked either, though I haven't tried that for as long.

I can't figure out what's not working. I have tried so many things and she just yells when she knows she'll be going to sleep. Just to mention, I do try to put her down when she starts showing her sleepy signs (less activity, looking away, yawning). We also have a consistent nap routine (song, massage, put on sleeping bag and a little hat she likes, pacifier and some gentle rocking). Nothing seems to be working. I spend my entire days dreading the next nap.

During the night, she doesn't sleep that great either. Again, we have a consistent bedtime routine (bath, massage, songs, sling or rocking). The first part of the night (she goes to sleep between 7-7:30) is at least somewhat manageable. She wakes up to nurse every two-and-half or so hours but then goes back to sleep within a reasonable time period if I rock her or put her in the bassinet and rock her with one hand on her stomach. After about 2:30 or 3, she starts to wake up about every 40-45 minutes, like she's taking short naps. She is then very hard to put back to sleep. I can sometimes get her to sleep in longer chunks if she is draped on my chest while I'm lying down and I rock her every time she stirs. This may work, but then I don't get any sleep at all. Some other things: we swaddle her for the night, but not during the day. She sleeps the first part of the night in her bassinet next to my bed and the second (hard) part next to me (in my arms in bed). If I can get her to take long naps by carrying her in a sling the entire time she is a happy, smiley baby when not being put to sleep.

I can't do CIO with her. She is sensitive and even hearing her cry as she is in my arms or as I'm rocking her in the bassinet is painful.

Please, please, any suggestions? I don't know what to do any more... Sorry for such a long email

Many thanks
Elena

[VeroniqueD]

Sounds like you have tried everything. Wish there was a simple answer for this. Does she enjoy the songs? Is she getting to much stimulation before naps? What about the hat, is there a tag that could be bothering her? My daughter hates hats and refuses to sleep in them. She obviously has a prop dependency which is the stroller (motion). I tried only one technique and stuck with it instead of trying all of them. I did the shh/pat because my daughter was to young for PU/PD - She cried but that is something to be expected, you are always going to have tears but you just stick by their side. You could stick with P/U P/D since you are trying to break the prop dependency. I didn't nurse so i really can't say much regarding her feedings. Anyone else? I could never do CIO either, it would break my heart to even attempt it. Oh, and i would swaddle her day and night....

[nursekat]

Hi Elena!  Welcome to BW! 

What does your daily routine look like?  Sometimes the answer is there.

And excellent choice at not wanting to do CIO. 

[jmjaskula]

Hi Elena,

I have a 15 week old son with the same issues.  He fights sleep with all his might.  I wish motion would get him to sleep, but so far the only thing that works is just having him in my arms while we sit in front of the dishwasher or some other white noise.  My son is very sensitive, waking at the slightest noise.  He's also very inquisitive and I have to block out all visual stimulation while trying to get him to sleep. All his naps are in my arms and at night we use a cosleeper.  As soon as I swaddle him he begins to cry and squirm.  We go through bouts of crying, then calm, and just when you think he's about to nod off he lets out another burst.  This goes on for 45 minutes or so, sometimes longer.  Sometimes he's hysterically crying and I let him out of the swaddle and he calms.  We've tried not swaddling, but that doesn't help either.  Just this morning I couldn't get him down and he was up for 3.5 hours.  Very cranky boy.  I'm not even bothered at this point that he's not in his own bed.  I do anything to give him rest during the day. Our EASY routine is constantly falling apart because his can't fall asleep or his sleep time is too short.  Here's a routine on a good day. 

E: 7:00 am
A: til 8:30
S: 8:30-10 (1.5 hours)
E: 10:00
A: til 11:30
S: 11:30-12:00 (0.5 hour) - tried for 30 minutes to get him back to sleep
E: 12:30
A: til 2:00  (tried at 1 to get him down because he was yawning)
S: 2-3:00 (1 hour)
E: 3:00 
A: til 4:00 - then tried to put to sleep after first yawn - just won't settle
E: 5:30
S: 6:00 
E: 9:30
S: 12:30am
E: 2:30
S: 4:15 - woke up with gas/bowel movement - fell back asleep at 5:00 after struggle
E: 6:15

We're just getting over some pretty serious gas pains/colic brought on by dairy foods in my diet.  Some of his inability to settle down may be because of an upset tummy.  He used to have very fussy nursing sessions, but so far so good after I got rid of dairy. 

I wish I had some answers for you.  Maybe others out there can offer some suggestions.  At least know you're not the only one dreading the next nap!  Speaking of naps, gotta go! 

Jeanette

[nursekat]

Jeanette, do you have blackout curtains and white noise in his room?  That might help tons.  I know when my dd was the same age, we added those to her room and it definitely helped.

For your routine, keep the feeds at 3hrs regardless of how bad naps are.  It may mean feeding before putting him down, but if you keep those feeds stretched out it might help some things fall into place a little better.

As far as naps go, experiment with either shortening your A times or lengthening them.  YOu are absolutely right to go by his cues later in the day when he's looking tired, but it could be he is overtired and that is why he is resisting.  Or undertired.  Hard to know...he is getting close to the age where you can start transitioning to a 3.5hr Easy, so you might look into that.  Check out this link:

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63161.0