i can't take it anymore, 14 month won't settle to sleep and CIO doesn't work

[MDHmommy]

Hi there, I thought I'd add my 2 cents. My DS is 15 mos, and our story sounded *a lot* like yours!

My experience has been that a NW that's an hour after he first goes down is classic overtired sign. And then the NWs can continue from overtired.

They only way I was able to get out of this cycle was to a) start Wi/Wo to teach completely independent sleep. and b) move bed time back pretty significantly from 7:30 to 6:45.

I found that using Wi/Wo got me out of the lingering gradual withdrawl/I'm a prop game and using it in the night made the NWs that used to last for hour/s quick, 2 second things.

And, I found that moving bed time earlier made it possible for DS to get enough sleep to end the overtired cycle which was causing that first 45 minute mark NW, and in our case also a 5:00 AM wake up call!

Hope that's helpful for you!

[Lovejoy]

thanks- will try putting her down to sleep by 6.30pm
NW last about 1hr+  She cries, we recognise a going back to sleep mumble cry to a standing up i'm ed off/lonely cry.  so we go in shh her, put her down when calm walk out, get into bed and 5 mins later she cries and this continues for 1 hr.

We went to 1 nap a day hoping that would fix the NW, but as you say she maybe overtired - although if it's not 1 thing!
I would love to just kiss her goodnight, walk out the room and not worry about it and wait for her to get upset.  Should i resign myself to this is our life!  What really annoys me is that although we've had issues, we always tried to get her to sleep independently, and it worked and it seems that hard work was a waste of time.

Will attempt the WI/WO method

[MDHmommy]

Lovejoy, is it possible that LO could be getting some molars?
That every 5 minutes for an hour thing sounds like what happens with my DS when he's not feeling well for one reason or another, *before* I figure out that there's a problem!
Then I give him some tylenol, it continues for about 20 more minutes, until the stuff kicks in and it's like - duh, no wonder...
ANyway, just a thought. Those molars are pesky because they come so long after the last tooth came in that you almost forget all about teething for a moment! LOL...

[Lovejoy]

her molars have come through, but i dose her up with medised and dentinox anyway incase it's her teeth..but that still doesn't connect to the GW tears at bedtime.

[MDHmommy]

GW?

[Lovejoy]

sorry!! the gradual withdrawal

[MDHmommy]

Yeah, ok, you're right. I forgot about that part.

Do you feel like she's really *sad* or upset when you leave at bed time, or do you feel more like she's crying because she's not getting her way?

If it's the former, I'm not sure what to tell you, other than hang in there with GW. If it's the latter, GO FOR IT with the Wi/Wo. Start with 5 seconds at a time and increase to 8.

Let's see what others say re: the bedtime crying...

Kate

[andibig]

do you wake her from her nap or does she wake herself??just wondering if the nap needs to be longer or the bedtime needs to be at 7pm instead.

if the crying at bedtime is genuine upset that you could do a longer winddown-like an extra long bath and extra cuddles b4 bed.
if its more of a testing mantra cry then i'd do walk in/walk out.
i'd see if an earlier bedtime would help

[holdenlouis]

Just thought I would add what we went through too. We did the transition to 1 nap and poor Ds got so overtired he would cry unconsolably for 1.5-2 hrs. To get through this and teach independent sleep "again" I did wi/wo and sometimes I would have to stand in the doorway with my back turned so no eye contact. If he stood and was crying I would do PD and go stand in the doorway. Sometimes if he was frantic I would stand by the bed and rub his back until calm then inch my way to the door while he babbled and started to settle. So far this whole week he has gone to sleepand stayed asleep all night. We also did an early bedtime with transition to one nap. Also did short am nap like 30 min. to start then dropped to 20. Somedays he needs this to get to afternoon nap without getting overtired and somedays he doesn't need it. If he has a bad nap in the pm I put him to bed earlier also to avoid overtired at bedtime. Sometimes in place of the am nap we lie in my bed and have quiet reading time if I feel he is just not tired enough to get to sleep. HTH and good sleeping comes to you also.

Lisa

[MDHmommy]

Sarah, I love DS' name - how literary!

[holdenlouis]

Which name? Holden? Wasn't sure but my name is Lisa, my DD is Sarah. If so Thankyou verymuch

[MDHmommy]

Holden, yes, very literary Love it.