I'm about to cry!

[mimsy]

I have a 14 week old and for the past 4 weeks have been battling to get him to sleep past the 40 - 45 min mark. I started off reading Tizzie Hall and she suggested putting him on a 4 hour routine, 2hrs play 2hrs sleep. She also said to not let them get sleepy, but keep them awake so they can put themselves to sleep. I tried this. it helped him get to sleep no worries, I would put him down and he would go to sleep, but after one sleep cycle he would wake and cry the house down. (in the meantime I decided to get rid of the dummy as well). During that first week, I resorted to picking him up and holding him back to sleep. By the end of the week I resorted back to the dummy to help him go back to sleep after he woke. But since then it is still not working. I trawled through the internet and found this site and have spent hours going over the pages to find helpful hints. It hasn't helped not having read the book. However I have started to pat/shush him back to sleep and yesterday I got him back to sleep for another 45 min ! (yay). He was on normal schedule (7am feed, 9am sleep, 11 am feed, 1pm sleep, 3pm feed 4:30 nap 6:30pm feed, 7pm bed) But have also read today to put him down once he shows tired signs. This provided a problem for me because he starts showing tired signs after being up only for 1 hour and 15 mins. So today he woke half an hour early 6:30 feed 8am bed 8:40 pat shush, 10am feed, 11:30 bed 12:20 pat shush 1:30 feed 2:50 bed pa/shh 3:30 back to sleep now and its 4:15.
However during this last period I realised he is having an extra sleep because his schedule is out of wack and because I am putting him down when he shows tired signs. What should I do, keep him up for 2 hours regardless of his tired signs? Keep putting him down when he starts looking tired??
He has always fed 4hourly so don't understand why all of a sudden he wants to feed every 3 and 1/2.
Please can someone help me with this and also tell me how long I should keep going with pat/shh. Will he ever be able to sleep through without me going in and putting him back to sleep?

[Samuel's mum]

I'm not familiar with Tizzie Hall but obviously that's a bit different from what Tracy (the BW) recommended. It's tricky if you don't have the book because although this site is fantastic without the book it's like trying to do a jigsaw without the picture on the box.

How long to keep going with pat/shh is a tricky one because it depends on your stamina and what he's actually doing i.e. a bit dozy or wide awake and showing clear hunger signs or the desire to play.

The 45 nap is something that people commonly struggle with as you can see here: https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=69789.0
You might find this helpful too if you haven't already come across it:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=649.0

You can also see what other people are doing at this age on the EASY board:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=10384.0

Sorry to contradict your friend Tizzie but 2 hours awake time is WAY too long at this age. On BW we're talking more like 1hr 20 min - 1hr 30. So he's pretty bang on target (and this includes wind down time etc)

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64158.0

Whatever you do don't force him to stay awake 2 hours - awake time vary for every baby and you shouldn't keep him awake beyond his natural point. If you have some luck extending his naps you may find things shift so try and work on that first.

Feeding intervals are bound to shift if you are adjusting his schedule. If he's getting hungrier much soon it might also be because of a growth spurt.

There are other people on these boards who are better than me at looking at routines but that's my 2 cents. HTH and Welcome to the boards.

[*Mona*]

hi

if he suddenly wants to feed more often, it may mean he's going through a growth spurt but it may also mean he's not really ready yet for 4hrs routine [2hrs play 2hrs sleep].
around his age we usually advise 3 or 3,5hrs routine and from what you say he's probably ready for 3,5hrs routine rather than 4.
waking up from a nap too early and unhappy usually means that Lo is overtired because of too long activity time.
great pat/shush is working for you

please take a look at EASY board and check our FAQ section:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63161.0

Monika

[mimsy]

Me agian, so today I thought I was making some progress, fed him at 7:15 then at 8:15 started wind down (kept activity low-key) and at 8:30 put him to bed, stood and watched him till 8:35 through crack of the door and his dummy fell out, went in put it back in and asleep again, 8:40 heard a little cry then nothing. At 9:20 I snuck into his room and tried W2S by touching his cheek. didn't seem to work coz at 9:25 he woke up, I stayed out of sight to watch him, he looked around the room and closed eyes (my heart lept - could this really be working??) then 2 minutes later eyes wide open and looking around, he did this for about 3 mins then he went he dropped his dummy and went into this weird half eyes closed sleep until 9:40 at which point he woke up completlely and I spent the next half hour shh/patting till his eyes were almost closed then leaving him to get back to sleep, 5 mins later awake repeat, until at 10:15 fast asleep again. Had to wake him up at 10:45 for his feed, now back to sleep at 12.
should I be shh/patting him to sleep or as I thought just till their sleepy? Is he (and I for that matter) making progress?? What should I be expecting?

[KathrynK]

hi
I am not an expert with sh/pat but this on/off dozy sleeping sounds just like my dd when she was learning to extend her naps. It does take time and the more consistent you are the quicker he will learn so it's great that you are seeing some success and I would persevere for now. You may not get success every single time, if he refuses to go back to sleep on time don't let it put you off; you will get there in the end!
It's great that you are watching his cues, it's clearly working if he is falling asleep so quickyl and easily so well done! Keep us posted x

[hemz80]

I've just jumped in to say big hugs to you and i hope things get better soon - the hard work does pay off and it all does resolve - promise xx