Starting from Scratch - toddler

[ldwolfgang]

I'm new here, but I'm so thankful I found this!  I have a 13 month old who has never slept more than 3-4 hours at a time and usually less than that.  I'm breastfeeding and he can't go to sleep without nursing.  Where do I start?  He cries if I put him down awake and when he wakes in the  night, he's always crying until I nurse him down. He goes to daycare so I have little control over his daytime schedule although I think it's pretty standard with one nap.  We have a good bedtime routine and he goes down at 8 p.m. and we get up for work/daycare at 6 a.m.  What can I expect?  I'm very scared but desperate to finally get some sleep - for him too.  How do you handle the crying?  Can anyone give advice to someone just starting sleep training with a toddler?  THANK YOU EVERYONE.  -
LAURIE

[RachelC]

Hi Laurie and welcome to the boards.

First of all {{{{{hugs}}}}}}

How does he nap at daycare and on weekends?  What does a typical day look like (feed times, nap times...)?

You need to start by disassociating the nursing to sleep.  Here is a great link about the gentle removal plan.... scroll down and you will see ********PANTLEY'S GENTLE REMOVAL PLAN-- (From Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution"

That will get you started.  Holler if you have more questions 

[ldwolfgang]

They say he naps fine at daycare which I can't believe! - he eats breakfast with me at 6 a.m., has a snack at 10, lunch at 11:30, nap at 12:30-3:00, then snack again.  I know this doesn't follow the E.A.S.Y. but it's what the daycare does.  On the weekend, he naps once, and he naps for a long time, but still has to be nursed.  I don't want to give up nursing all together, but I will read the pantley removal plan.  Thank you for responding so fast!!

[RachelC]

You don't have to give up nursing, just needs to be rearranged.  EASY changes greatly when they turn 1... sounds like a good routine to me.  You may want to make bedtime a tad earlier, like 7 though.

[elmarie]

Hi Laurie,

I think your DS is not getting enough sleep during the night.  He needs at least 11.5h per night.   IMO you shouldn't put him to bed no later than 6.30pm at night. You should start by tweaking his routine to go to bed earlier.  Maybe the daycare can cut his nap 1.5h-2h. Maybe a nap around 11am in the morning. His activity time is also to long.  It shouldn't be more than 5-5.5h.  Is it possible that the daycare can put him down for his nap earlier? 

maybe you should invest in Tracy's book BW solves all your problems and BW for toddlers.  She explains everything in detail and I'm sure it will be of benefit to you especially because you are starting EASY only now ( alot of the info you will find here on the website).

I agree with the other ladies that you need to stop associating BF with sleeping- I think it has become a prop for DS.  Tracy does explain in the BW how to do this.   he should be able to go 12h during without feeding at his age.  You should also maybe up his calories during the day so that he doesn't get hungry at night.  With my DD we do "tanking up" the hour or so before she goes to bed to make sure she has a bit more calories for the night.  We give her supper-including some protein, with a snack 1/2h or so after supper and a bottle ( in your case breast before she goes to bed. ) once you are sure he is not hungry You can then start  PD or wi/wo.  There is more than enough info on this on the boards.  I'm sure you are desperate to get a good nights sleep!

Elmarie X