11 month old won't settle for naps

[jchambers]

I have tried pick up put down but has turned into a game. Leaving the room causes stress, but should I persist? When  I stay in the room i just seem to be a distraction. If I leave the room my LO just stands up and yells out at me, she doesn't lie down. When I have tried coming in and out before she seems to get more distressed. but I can't see what else to do to teach her to self settle during the day, should I try again with wi/wo. How long should it take to get her asleep for a nap and how long should I persist with WI/WO. I am worried about seperation anxiety resulting from it. PU/PD at night works but not during the day. She is a spirited touchy 11 month old baby.

Her routine looks something like this
Breastfeed 4am(should cut this out)
wake 6.30
Breakfast 7.30
Bottle 8.30
Nap 9.30 (usually top her up with breast feed she is a picky eater and easily distracted from food/drink)
Can take hour or more to get to sleep using pu/pd, patting etc.
wake 45mins later

Lunch 12.00

Breastfeed 2/2.30
Nap 2.30 Hasn't napped here without being fed to sleep or ride in car for about 2 weeks

Dinner 5
bath 6
Bottle
stories
Asleep 7pm

Any help would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks

This is another post I have also put in pickup/putdown for a background
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=100914.0

[andibig]

Sounds like you are having a rough time of it .

Well looking at your routine i can't see much wrong (except the short naps).Sasha had a very similar routine at that age.her AM nap was 1hr (9.30-10.30) and her PM nap was 1.5hrs (2pm-3.30pm) and bdtime usually around 7ish.

now looking at your other thread she seems to be accumalting overtiredness which is giving you the night wakings,short naps.its a vicious cycle.they can't settle to sleep cos they are OT and once they are asleep they are not getting a good quality of sleep due to the OT.

Personally once they are getting this OT i'd do a little AP (accidental parenting ) to get her some sleep and help her catch up on it.so if its a buggy ride or in the car then do it for the time being until her sleep is getting better.sleep training makes them OT anyway and if shes already at that point ....well you can see what i'm trying to say.

If you stick to PU/PD and want to carry it on (which is fine too) then you have to be consistent.I wouldn't do WI/WO at her age as its more suitable for toddlers.Now i did i slightly different way of PU/PD with sasha.she too found PU/PD a game,actually it was more like PD at that age as she could stand up.What i did was stand by the side of her cot with a bored expression,no eye contact and eventually she laid down.
for a few days i'd have to have the door open (but didn't need to be present) and eventually got to the point where i could close it.I should mention that she was not crying at all when i did this as she thought it was a game.

She will nap better i promise .Sasha is a spirited LO and sometimes they just take a little longer to teach!
HTH
Andrea

[skatty]

I also have an 11 month old spirited DD  We are having all sorts of problems but I have very recently cracked the problem of having to be with her for naps (and NWs  ) What I did was similar to what Andrea suggested I just sat by her cot and ignored her, she got bored and within 3 days I no longer had to be there and for her naps I just came into view every now and then until she fell asleep.

My DD is also in a viscious circle of OT, I just can't see any way out of it  I have resorted to walking her in the pram for nap 2, I didn't do this today and am now paying for it with wakings evry 30 mins after a 5.15pm bedtime 

I hope our girls both start getting some sleep soon 

[jchambers]

Great thanks for your advice. It's nice to know your not alone in this fun that is sleep! I did the stand beside the cot today and only laid her down when she started to whinge at me after about 1/2 hour. Then stood back and she got up and did it a few more times, then I put her blankie on and gave her a little pat, then left my hand on her until she was settled. It was a much more pleasant experience than the PD 100's of times. When I think about it, its really how I do it at night. Now the challenge will be the second nap, but I am with you on the car/stroller ride, it really seems to pay at night to make sure they get the two naps. Thanks again... keep you updated.

... when you both worked your way out of the room, did you move towards the door or how exactly did you do it. Also when you had the door open did you stay in sight or out of sight. I really struggle with this point of getting out of the room and really want to do it. With my first little one I ended up staying in the room until she was 2.5. So I don't want to miss the opportunity this time, plus I need to be able to attend to my other daughter, once i can get Hannah sleeping by herself. At the moment she will watch tv and is pretty good, but its not ideal.

[skatty]

I'm glad you had some improvement. I first sat beside her cot and then I would lie down so she could look over the bumper and see me there, last night I would go in (yes multiple wakings last night!) and lie her down say sshh, watch her take her dummies to play with and left the room. I think most people use a chair and start sitting closer and closer to the door.

Good luck, it only took a few days with my DD but she does learn habits fast which can be a good thing and a babd thing  Hope your DD gets some decent sleep too, keep us updated 

[jchambers]

Still not really working. Her naps are all over the shop... I give her milk now before I put her down, do you think this is a bad habit. I have almost weaned her onto the bottle now. We got out three days in the week, where she has a sleep in the car and I think that really sets her up for not falling asleep in her cot. I started to leave the room out of frustration more than anything and she just seems to stand up and wait for my return. Sometimes she sounds okay then other times she gets herself really worked up. I can't change our going out because its for my 3 yr old kindy and its a 20min drive both ways. Often if Hannah falls asleep in the car I leave her there when we get home, because she wakes if she fell asleep more than 15 mins before. If I do transfer her she wakes after 45mins, which is understandable. If I leave her in the car she sleeps for upto 2 hours. Sometimes when I put her down for her nap, she hasn't shown really obvious tired signs but it might be 4 or more hours since her last sleep so I try to put her down. But once she is in there after an hour and a half (yesterday) she doesn't seem tired. Should I be waiting for moire tired signs? If I do she won't be going down for her afternoon nap until 3.30/4pm is this to late. Mmmm I thought everything was improving but just seems again like she could do with one long nap.

[skatty]

Hi, it's me again. As you know we have had pretty similar problems to you and I am hoping we have finally turned a corner. We have done this with extremely early bedtimes on bad nap days, lots of consisatancy and a shorter AM nap. Here is a typical days schedule now:

6.00 wake
9.00 nap1
10.10 wake from nap (she wakes herself but I'd wake after 45 mins)
12.45 put down for nap (she sleeps outside in pushchair)
13.00 nap 2
14.30 awake
18.00 in cot and falls asleep within about 15 mins

We are back to staying in the room while she falls asleep because we used to put her down drowsy but now we put her in wide awake as we thought it may help her settle at her NW. I think we have just about combatted the OT and last night was the first night she slept through in ages. The night before she was in bed asleep by 5pm!! She then still woke the next day at 6am. With the shorter am nap you should aim to put LO down between 2 and a half and 3 hours later, I really thought no way would she sleep this soon but they really aren't to refreshed from the am nap so they do, it is a step towards the one nap.

Good luck, keep us informed, Katt 

[Regan's Mommy]

I didn't see this entry before I posted "Daughter Dependent on my presence during naps".  I was encouraged to read this post, however, as I can really relate, with my daugther being 11 months old also.  Thank you so much for your helpful comments.  If you have anything to add to my post refered to above, I'd love hear from you.

Thank you!