FRUSTRATED & TIRED

[appletree]

H E L P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I really need some ideas about Bella. She's gone back to being up from 1 a.m.ish til daytime sleeping only 20mins. or maybe 45mins. at a time. She's fussy, not eating terribly well, I know she's been congested but just a cold, no fever. I know with some shots they can show symptoms a week later, but not sure if that is it.

Her schedule: Up for day by 6 a.m. (sometimes 5:45 a.m.)
                   eats & plays then down for nap by 9:30 a.m. at latest
                   Up by 10 a.m., plays, eats
                    Down for 2nd nap at 1ish (sometimes earlier as they can't keep her awake she's so exhausted)
                    Up by 1:30
                    Falls asleep in car on ride home (15 mins.) at 5p.m ish
                    Bedtime -has been fighting it so it's like 7:45 or 8:15 p.m.
                     Sleeps ok til 12:45 a.m. then up and down screaming & throwing self around her bed til wakes up at 6 a.m.ish

She hasn't had many visits lately. Other than not eating as well (cuz she had a tummy bug and was on Pedialyte for about 12 hrs. w/ only crackers as a solid) there's not been any change in her day or life,etc. Not presently teething that I can tell.  She did have a longer visit with her mom on Saturday and took a nap there which she doesn't typically do.

Help - Help - Help - Help - Help - Help - Help - Help - Help - Help - Help - Help - Help - Help - Help - Wendee

[Peek-a-boo]

Is her second nap really on 30 minutes long?  Or is that a typo (or am I misreading, LOL)?

How long has this been going on?

 

[appletree]

Bethany..........NO typo.  30 flippin minutes. Today, her teacher rocked her to extend it which I know i shouldn't let them do but I'm at a loss and she is SO tired (me, too but I kinda don't get the luxury of someone to rock me to sleep).  She'd been doing good through Sunday night. When she only woke up once but screamed for 1 1/2 hrs. Wendee

[Peek-a-boo]

Oh my!  Well, this will be a "duh" statement, but . . . she's overly tired.    How do you get her caught up though?  Hmmmmmm . . . .

Well, as a stop gap measure, I think I'd let her nap longer than 15 minutes if possible on the way home on days when she has such short naps.       

Does she seem tired when she goes down for that first nap?  I'm wondering if maybe this is 2-1 nap switch madness.  Maybe the am nap needs to be pushed later to go longer and then you can do a cat nap in the afternoon.   

I'm hoping Layla comes along and weighs in . . . she's much better with routines than I am. 

Sending you {{{{{hugs}}}}} This must be so frustrating . . . just when things were looking up.   

[appletree]

I knew she was way overly tired. I just don't know what to do about it (I so did not mean that to sound snotty) but I am getting better at this or determining what the prob is just no idea how to solve the prob.  It takes everything we have to get her to stay awake until 930 a.m. and same thing for p.m. nap.  She slept in the car with her biomom for 30 mins. today but now it 6:45 p.m. and I am having  a terrible time getting her to go to sleep.  I'm trying wi/wo which is not working and really at this point I just want to let her cry it out. Don't worry, I wouldn't really do that but I have a massive headache and two other lo's Im trying to take care of by myself for the next hour or so.  It's like she's overstimulated but can't unwind.  I'm going to go try joint compressions real quick and see if that helps.  Give me some ideas if anyone has any. Wendee

[Peek-a-boo]

Here's what I think I would do in your situation  (I don't know if it's the right thing, but it's what I would do) . . .

When something disrupts her night significantly, the next day I would be really attentive to her cues.  Push her to stay up at least 2 hours, but past that, if she's showing sleepy signs, put her down and let her sleep up to 2 hours.  My thinking is when she has a crap night sleep for whatever reason, she needs to make up that sleep the next day.   

(The catch 22 will be if she starts getting too much day sleep and it makes the night wakings worse, but I think it's worth trying.)

It seems like she has a lot of variables in her life that can throw her off easily and it seems like once she gets into an over tired cycle she spirals out of control pretty quickly, so maybe try to nip it in the bud right away when her night sleep is worse than normal. 

I know that doesn't help for tonight, but for tomorrow morning that's what I'd try to do. 

{{{hugs}}}

Bethany

[Layla]

Wendee - I actually think the catnap is not such a good idea - its not letting her go to sleep early enough for the night.... I would rathen no catnap in the car & put her down for the night as early as 5.30/6pm

[appletree]

Bethany, it's almost like if she can't see me she freaks out.  I did wi/wo for 1 1/2 hrs. I have absolutely NO me time. And I feel like all I do is pd's and deal w/ screaming. I've seriously lost it. I mean, I have no energy , I can't think straight, I'm a mess. I want to scream at her biomom becuz this is all probably side effects of the meth abuse inutero and I"M the one who has to deal with it. Which would be fine if I were keeping her but as soon as she goes back all my work will have been for nothing becuz she keeps saying how she can't deal with all 3 kids at the same time.   I fricking do it all day everyday (ok, sure I have a pretty good support system so I'm not always on my own) but still.,.......  She won't sleep longer than 1/2 hr. during each nap, they've tried to extend and unless they're rocking her she won't sleep beyond that. Could she be having nightmares or be afraid of something or is it just SA?  I just want someone to solve this problem for me becuz I really am so tired and stressed out that I can't think straight. Wendee      

[appletree]

Trust me, I really do not want to have her catnap HOWEVER, if I'm driving home, and she's tired, I can't very well keep her awake. Tomorrow we travel 2 hrs. for a football game so she may sleep in the car but that's from 1:30 - 3:30  and then we travel back at about 6:30 so maybe she'll sleep for the night starting then. I don't know. I feel like I'm sleepwalking through life.  (I am glad to hear from you tho but Bethany is a good standin if you're not available.)  I just wish this were fixed already. Wendee

[Layla]

Its pretty hard to fix this because as Bethany said there are too many inconsistencies in her life & with her routine being off (when she has her visits). If possible I would try to have the biomum around only when she's NOT supposed to be sleeping or maybe take a few weeks off from visits (if thats allowed) & let her body get used to some sort of a routine. What about singing her songs on the way home to keep her awake

[appletree]

funny you say that about songs... that's what I try to do. She does twinkle, twinkle, little star but usually I end of singing by myself cuz she's out.  see, I think I'm insane.      I can't take time off of visits- not possible at this stage in the game.  I don't know what to do about inconsistencies and it irritates me cuz I know more than anything kids THRIVE on routine and consistency or they feel in a constant state of chaos. I hate that I'm having to contribute to her feeling that way. it's just a lost cause I guess...............................

[Peek-a-boo]

I find that loud talk radio keeps my LO awake in the car better than anything else--especially a station with lots of abrasive, annoying commericials--seriously.

 I know this is so tough right now, but do your best to stay confident and calm as you wi/wo--if you're emotional she's going to feed on it. 

Hun, I know that you wish some one could come and fix this--I wish I could pop over and help you out.    I was just thinking this evening, maybe it would help you to get connected with some ladies LOs the same age as yours.  Admin has just reorganized birth clubs, so this would be the perfect time to join.  Here's the link to the birth club for ages 12-18 months: https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=102729.0  It's a place to chat about what's going on with your LOs, compare routines, etc, and offer each other support.  For major sleep issues, you'll still come here, but it might help to get ideas from others who are walking through this right now.  Check it out. 

I hope your night goes okay and you're able to breathe a bit.   

[Wilsmon]

hmm, I know this is going to go against everything you have been trying, but what if you just quite worrying about routines?  Let her sleep when she wants to sleep.  THe only guideline I would try to keep is to try and have her awake four hrs before scheduled bedtime.

BTW - wi/wo for 1 1/2 hours was us completely (sometimes up to 2 1/2 hrs).  So I don't think she is unusual. Believe me, I feel your pain!  THe only other thing I can suggest, with your situation, is to make some greater consessions.  I know I spent many nights sleeping on the floor next to the crib.  I know you are trying for independant sleep, but for some it just comes later.  After teething etc.  Even though we spent a lot of nights sleeping next to the crib (with both of ours) they are now both really independant sleepers.  So I guess what I am saying is that I don't think it "ruins" the goal (for lack of a better word) to do that.  When we move ds to a big bed, I imagine we will be back to spending some nights on the floor again.  But we did with dd and she is a great sleeper.  Sometimes you just need to keep your sanity also, and it beats taking them to your bed IMO.

I have a friend that has four kids really close in age - she did the same thing.  Put a matress on the floor and slept in their room.  Something to think about.

[Layla]

Wendee - she's still in your room though... isn't she? You're just doing wi/wo for the time she goes to sleep & at night doing pd???

HOw did last night go?

[~S~]

It sounds like it could be food related to me, as well.  How long have you given her applesauce?  Be aware of the citric acid in there as well, if the cheese doesn't take care of it.  Maybe she really notices when she lays down, either b/c of the position or b/c of lack of distraction-just a theory-maybe that is why it is only at sleep times.  Hope you find your answer soon.