DD won't try ANYTHING new!!

[nursekat]

Ok, I'm at an impasse with dd...she has two main "meals" she eats for lunches and dinners - breakfast is ok, but then all we have to choose from is mac&cheese (I get the healthiest kind I can) and beans & rice.  She absolutely refuses to eat anything new, nothing works.  I've been trying meals at the table with all of us eating the same thing, with no results (although it's only been a couple of days) - she just pushes things around with her fork, practicing her fork skills and that's it.  The old adage, "When she gets hungry, she'll eat" doesn't work for her - she just melts down and sobs when she's hungry.  Both DH and I get low blood sugar jitters easily and we wonder if she does too.  So letting her not eat isn't really an option. 

Or should I just go with the two menu options?  She gets good variety in everything else she eats:  cereal, cream cheese, milk, string cheese, edamame, green beans, corn, pears, bananas, raisins, watermelon - those are all things she'll eat rather well. 

Any ideas?

[jasmynesmum]

Lurking... facing a similar problem since about 15 months 

[nursekat]

Oh yeah, and it's not quantity as an issue - if I happen to strike whatever she's in the mood to eat, she'll eat tons.  But sometimes what she wants isn't even remotely close to what I give her, and it's not like she's holding out for the ONE food, kwim?  It's just she wants something particular one day, something else the other day...

Welcome Jasymyne's Mum!! 

[kate585]

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm trying to figure out the problem.  She's eating all sorts of fruits and veggies, right?  So, the issue is the main course?  That is a hard one for us, too.  I think you are doing so, so well to get her to eat all those different foods.  

Keep offering alternatives, but if she won't eat them that's okay.  What my home visitor suggested is putting 3 or 4 things on the plate and include 2 she'll eat.  Some kids need to be exposed to food up to 30 times before they'll eat it.    So, if she only eats pears and corn for dinner and skips the chicken, that's okay as long as she eats enough of it to keep her full overnight.  I wouldn't make the mac n cheese after the fact or she'll get the message that she'll always have that to fall back on, iykwim.  You may want to have a pre-bed snack like oatmeal or something to get her through the night on the nights she doesn't eat a lot for dinner.  

Good luck!  

[nursekat]

No wrong way taken!    I'd just like to slowly transition her to eating meals with us, kwim?  And not the same two things every day...yes she eats fruits and vegetables ok (fruits are much more easy to get in her, LOL!), but protein is a huge issue as she doesn't get much.  And more main-course variety would be nice. 

But I think what concerns me the most is her absolute refusal to try something new.  Sometimes she'll just grab something new and start wolfing it down - the other week it was steamed fresh carrots (I had tried frozen before, to no avail).  I don't know why she'll eat some just fine and others will start a tantrum just because I put it on her plate.  So exposing her to new things is difficult as well - sometimes just putting it in front of her (and I don't DARE try to feed it to her on a spoon or the whole meal is ruined!) and she throws a fit.

I'm reading "Just Two More Bites" again, it's been a while.  Hopefully I'll dig something new up there.  I'll keep trying the family mealtime as well for now...and I think just trying new things all the time and you never know when something will be like the steamed carrots, LOL! 

[KathrynK]

hi Kat
do you have friends with lo's the same age? I have a friend I met at ante-natal group so her ds is the same age as my dd. We meet up once a week and the kids have their dinner together- we always use this as an opportunity to try out new things one of them hasn't eaten before or doesn't like, as they really do copy each other. We've had some huge successes- this week Freddie ate baked beans which he has consistently refused for the last year! Also Sophie has been much more open to new things since she has been at nursery, again I think she just copies the other kids.
hth
K xx

[kate585]

Had another thought.  This is not a rule by any means...don't think you can force a child to try something, but I saw this on TV once.     Most people won't like their first taste of something so we try to encourage 3 bites.  First one to try it, second to give it a chance, and third to decide if it's a yes or a no.  Granted, it sounds like she wouldn't do the first bite so I guess that is totally useless.   

I agree with pp...Ryan will try things when we are with his buddies and they share that he wouldn't normally eat. 

[nursekat]

Coincidentally, I just read that section in "Just Two More Bites" about eating with peers...might give it a go, I'll see if anybody in our playgroup is interested.  It's hard because there are some things I know she'll like, for example new fruits or a grilled cheese sandwhich, etc., but she won't even try them.    I was hoping with family meals she might be more inclined but so far no go...will see if playgroup gets any success...

[nursekat]

Well, we had a couple of small successes for those of you lurking...she tried blackberries yesterday!!  She usually rejects them, but for some odd reason I tried giving her just one little bump off the blackberry and she tried it.  Isn't it weird what they reject and try??  So after having to de-bump a few blackberries (a very messy process), I handed her a whole blackberry and said, "Bethany do it," and she realized it was a dumb thing to do, LOL, and just started eating them whole.  Woo hoo!

I also got her re-interested in oatmeal.  She used to love it, but only Mommy's.  I didn't want her to eat mine (I get the instant stuff loaded with sugar) but decided to try it again.  So I made plain oatmeal with applesauce (no sugar added) and cinnamon and a tiny scoop of sugar (I can't take ALL the fun of oatmeal away from her, LOL!) and she ate the entire thing!  She loved it so much she was even letting me feed her at the end when she was running out!   

So...still no main course meals to add to our repetoire but two new foods in a couple of days is exciting for me!  I think the family-style eating is also helping a lot...I realized I had taken the "fun" out of eating by running around and doing other things while she ate.  I have to admit I'm enjoying sitting and eating with her, too.    

[Boyz:)]

Oh my goodness....I could have written your original post, Kathleen.  I'm lurking here for sure.  DS #1 is horrible for trying new things.  If he doesn't visually recognize it, he's not eating it.  He rarely eats meat so I can appreciate the concern regarding protein.  Sometimes I have to walk away because I get so frustrated.  I think I'm going to try oatmeal again....he absolutely loved it before and then kind of lost the taste for it. 

Good luck to you.....


Kandace

[nursekat]

Thanks, Kandace!  Misery does love company, doesn't it??    Bethany is SO particular - today I actually cut up her toast instead of just tearing pieces off, and she refused to eat it!!  Or she'll refuse to eat pears if they are not cut up exactly right!      

Have you tried any protein-rich shakes yet?  I might try those for her afternoon snack - the stretch before dinner is always the hardest for her.  I'm also going to try wheat germ (I didn't realize it had protein!) in her oatmeal.

I also just bought some of those bowls with straws in them so she can drink her cereal milk...I read about those on another thread.  Will let you know how it goes.

And I'm in the process of setting up a "Picky-eater Potluck Party" with my Mom's group where everybody brings their LOs fav healthy dish.

[mari]

I have a whole range of picky eaters here.  What I do is try to please them all with something that they will all eat, and add things that they probably won't.  For instance, Alex won't eat Potatos (other than chips) but she loves carrots and most veggies (swede now that I told her they were yellow carrots!) and all meats, one of the other children will eat mountains of potatoes but hates any veggies, will eat meat.  So with him I put extra mash and meat and just a few veggies, for Alex I put a tiny bit of mash but plenty of meat and veg.  Before they get their dessert I try to get them to jsut try a bit, I don't make them and they still get dessert if they don't try, I just have a little go at coaxing a tiny piece of what they don't want.  They sally have a little bit and I am hoping that eventually they will realise that it's not so bad.
The most important thing here (IMO) is that we don't make too much of a fuss over the things that they won't eat as they will dig their heels in.  Always put everything on the plate and have a little try to get them to eat it, but as long as they have had enough I wouldn't worry too much. 
There is one little girl who comes to me who ate hardly anything when she first came, but I continue to put food on her plate and say to everyone, eat what you can and make sure that you've had enough.  She has a mch greater variety of foods now, although still not enough, I think that she eats well for me because she eats witht he others and meals are a great social event here, and she is used to seeing the different foods now and more familiar with them.
HTH

[Mum to cool dude]

Have you tried having the oatmeal and blueberries for breakfast ? That's what DS and I have every morning (porridge). The fruit actually helps absorb the iron in the oatmeal

I agree with Mari about staying relaxed about meals if you can. DS is simply not hungry at night. I show him my plate and ask him if he wants some. Sometimes it's yes, mostly no. If so, I'll give him something else.

For me, it's a case of him being allowed to eat whatever he wants provided that it's healthy. If all he wants is boiled carrots for a snack, that's fine. I am an erratic eater myself and maybe he is too. As long as he has as much of a healthy diet as I can offer him and is growing, I am happy with that.

[nursekat]

I have always been relaxed about dd's eating, but what I think I am realizing this week is "relaxed" does NOT equal "just give her what she wants", LOL!!    I've never pushed her or forced her, but I figure to get her to eat I just have to give her what she likes.  I wasn't really trying hard to introduce new stuff, kwim?  Just occasionally, and she'd predictably refuse so I just gave up.

What I'm seeing this week are a few things - one, if she has something different at EVERY meal she's more likely to try it.  Two, she REALLY enjoys having company while eating.  For example, this morning at breakfast I had toast with cream cheese with her.  She'd point at her toast and say "toast!" and then at mine and say "toast!" and the same thing with her water and my water. 

So, we're having some successes.  Yesterday she tried beets and loved them.  I think she was just excited by the word, she was yelling "BEETS" with me as we were cooking them.  Then when I pointed to them on her plate and said beets again, she seemed pumped that those were what that super cool word was, LOL!  She had three (albeit small, prob 1 tsp each chopped tiny as she has 3 teeth still!) helpings of those.  I was over the moon when she signed "more" each time!!   

I also tried a yogurt smoothie for the first time, had to dust off my blender LOL!  She LOVED it!!  Just yogurt, fruit and milk.  YUM.

And last night I gave her tortillas with a dip and she liked to dip it, and actually touched it to her tongue, but that was it.  Still...PROGRESS! 

So...I feel like I need to change the title of my post to "My dd won't try anything new unless I make an effort" LOL!!

[mari]

Well done Kat.  Relax and try everything that you eat! 

Oh, and making food with you is everything.