CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN SSH/PAT

[petherbridge]

hi there, I have read lots of messages which talk about ssh/pat. Can someone please explain this.
My baby gets very overtired very quickly during the day and i wondered if it was something i could use to help her.

Thanks Sarah

[Mariek]

Hi Sarah

There's a link which tells you the Pat/shh process here:

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26672.0

I found pat/shhh invaluable with both my kids, you just need to be consistent and ride out the bumps (there's usually a bit of a backlash against it (around 3/5 days into trying where people think "oh, its' not working" and give up) - but you need to push through that). It's definitley worth a go! Hope it goes well.

love

[petherbridge]

Thanks so much for the link. It explains everything.

Love sarah

[elmarie]

Hi sarah

I agree with pp. Just persevere with shh/pat, it takes a while to work but is invaluable to teach you lo how to calm themselves.  Once your baby  can calm themselves you are on your way to teach them to self sooth with PU/PD   

[hannahbanana]

Note of advice:  You may have to shush far louder than you'd ever thought!  In Tracy's interview, she likened it to the sound of a faucet on full blast.  And the patting, too--it's not your "there there" kind of pat.  But when you get it right, for your LO, it works wonders.

[lilmonkey]

Just wanted to add that you may need to modify it to fit your lo's temperment.  The pat/shh did wonders for my first but with ds I had to pat and hum really loud (AHHH...HUMMM).  Don't worry about it being a prop as you will slowly decrease the lenght of the pat/shh till all you need to do is just give a pat or two and walk away.  Good luck.

[vuhoo]

I can't see the link to the ssh/pat from PP, can someone post it again?  I tried my first ssh/pat with my 6 1/2 wk old DD and needless to say, it didn't work that great.  She was able to settle down but she didn't stay down, she would wake up every 5 mins or so very angry.  After 30mins, she was so tired I ended up rocking her and giving all the props she needed to settle down quickly and get some sleep.  I know that may not be the right thing to do but I'm uncomfortable pushing her too much at such a young age.  We started sleeping training our DS #1 at 5 mos, so I know this can be a long process.  What should I expect from a newborn (knowing that all babies are different)?  What was your experience?

The only way my DD can have a good nap is if I rock her until she is completely zonked out.  I really can't continue this with an energetic 2yr old toddler running around.  When I rocked her until she is drowsy but awake and layed her down, her eyes popped up.  Do I pick her up again and rock her to get her drowsy again?  Also, when she wakes up she doesn't fuss right away.  She  just looks around as if she's not tired but then fusses after awhile.  Do I just leave her alone until she starts fussing then do the shh/pat or do I pick her up and rock her?  I'm just afraid this long process might make her over tired and it throws off our 3hr EASY routine.

Any suggestions?

[caton3]

I'd love to see that link too.  I bought the book in 2004, but I don't think we ever completely used the method (to be honest, my brain is in pieces from lack of sleep).  Now, I can't find the book, and my 8 month old is a terrible sleeper.  Help!

[lilmonkey]

Hope this is the link you are inquiring about.  https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26672.0

[caton3]

for some reason it's just not showing.    maybe if you cut and paste it in (or type) without the "www" in front of it?  I'm new (see my post in introductions) to this forum so I don't know if this forum or software allows urls in the messages - ?  thanks again!

[lilmonkey]

The thread you want is in the General Sleep Issues, FAQs

[RachelC]

*FYI* I modified the links so you can see them now (there's a glitch going on in the system at the moment)

[vuhoo]

I guess it must be me because I still can't see the link.... 

Anyway, I tried the ssh / pat with our DD again today.  We started with the BF until my DD looked like she was going into dreamland.  I sat her up, burped her, changed her diaper, and swaddled her.  By this time, she was awake again.  I rocked her until she was drowsy.  I layed her down and her eyes popped open.  She layed there for a few minutes trying to figure out what was going on.  She then started to cry so I started the shh / pat.  The crying got pretty strong but then she settled down and fell asleep in 10mins.  Awesome...too good to be true, right?  Right.... She woke up 5mins later and started to cry again.  I did the shh / pat again for another 10mins and she fell asleep again to wake up 15mins later crying.  I did the ssh / pat again but this time she was so mad, she started to choke during her cry.  At this point, I picked up her and decided to try again some other time.

Did your DS / DD get this angry at the beginning?  What is the long term impact of letting a 7wk old cry so hard (even though I was right by her side the whole time trying to comfort her)?

[vuhoo]

Well, I think I'm going to give ssh / pat a break for now.  I don't doubt that it works, it's just not working for us and it's driving my DD nuts.  We did the ssh / pat for almost two hours this morning, taking a break for feeding, and I couldn't seem to soothe her unless I pick her up or give her a pacifier.  The pacifier only worked briefly until it fell out of her mouth.  I swaddled her and had the white noise in the background as well.  As a result, she seems overtired and it has thrown our 3hr EASY off course. I think I'll focus on the 3hr EASY for a few more weeks and try the ssh / pat or wait until we do the pu / pd at 4 mos.  I'd rather not wait that long to sleep train her, though.  We rocked our DS #1 until he was 5 mos and it was definitely a hard habit to break not to mention many sleepless nights trying to rock him back to sleep....

[hannahbanana]

vuhoo--Your LO might be responding so violently because it seems that you are starting to soothe her with one thing (nursing, rocking, pacifier), then taking that away, and turning to shush/pat at the end, leaving her wanting the thing you started with.  I know you said that you're going to stop shush/pat for a while, but when you are ready to transition consider taking those other things out of your sleep routine.

With my LO, the pacifier was just as often a problem as it was a help (spitting it out, crying for it, like you describe).  I also tried nursing right before bed and got a similar reaction--who wants to be taken off the boob and put in a crib!?  When shush/pat finally started to work for us,this is what we were doing for bedtime: nurse, bath, book with Daddy outside, books with Mommy in nursery, crib, shush/pat.  That was about 9-12 weeks.  Can't remember when it clicked. 

I'd been trying shush/pat since about 4 weeks, and it was torture.  It would take forever!  And I was holding her and singing to her before putting her down, as I was waiting for her eyes to start drooping.  Then, there was a point that she started screaming as soon as I sat down!  Looking back, I wasn't waiting long enough to start the routine (she wasn't tired enough, yawns or not!) and I was holding her too long (hence, the struggling, arching, etc.).  As I recall, it was most horrible just about 7 weeks (your LO's age!).

Hope this reflection helped.  Anyway, this is the approach I think I'll take with #2, whenever that comes.  Hindsight is always 20/20, right?