WI/WO query for night time wakings (18mths)

[DFreeman]

Hi Everyone,
I've been reading up on Walk-In, Walk-Out and I wonder if this would be useful for night-time wakings or is it best used for getting little ones off to sleep at bedtime?  I don't have a problem with bedtime at all, just waking up during the night.  My son usually wakes up at least once a night, at varying times and it's really hard to get him settled again.  He also wakes up horribly early (5.00 ish) and never, ever goes back to sleep.  Can anyone offer any advice?
Many thanks,
Donna.

[Layla]

Hi Donna

Can you please tell me what his daytime routine looks like. What time is the nap, how long for & bedtime (& feeds as well)

How does he goes to sleep at nap & bedtime?

What do you do at the moment when he wakes at night/how do you respond?

Sorry for all the q's... just trying to see why he's waking
Layla

[laurencopenhaver]

Hi there, my son is almost 16 months and we have similar issues.  Mine has never slept through the night, and now we're trying to break the terrible ongoing habit of waking b/t 5-5:45 for milk.  I used to give it and he'd go right back to sleep.  No I'm refusing to give it and trying to get him back to sleep.  He too usually has night wakings.  An average night is 2-3 times.  He'll just start crying out, sometimes it only last 30 sec. and I don't have to go in, sometimes I do.  And that's usually when it's harder to get him to settle. Right now my son is never going back to sleep either.  have you always done the same thing and responded the same way when he wakes or have you done what I have and given him milk, rocking, bringing in your bed?  A routine would definitely be helpful.

[DFreeman]

Hi Layla,

Thanks for replying. Our usual daytime routine is:

6.30 Wake-up - have milk (my husband gets up at 5.00 to go to work, which is why George always wakes up early we think)
7.00 Breakfast
Mid to late morning - possible half hour sleep
12.00 Lunch
2.30 - possible 1hr sleep.
7.30 Bath, story and bed - straight to sleep perfectly no problems.
Sometime in the early morning hours - wake up - stay awake for an hour or so.  We usually give him milk and sometimes he'll go straight back to sleep and others not.

This is all a bit vague as sometimes he doesn't sleep in the mornings and will have an hour or so at lunchtime.  It's dreadful really.  I know he's not getting enough sleep, but I don't know how to make him sleep more.  We also have a 3.5 year old and we used Babywhisperer techniques with him and never had any problems at all that we couldn't overcome, but George really is much more complicated sleepwise.  During the day he's a delightful angel baby and never, ever shows that he's tired, which makes him harder to 'read' and I try to guess when I think he should have a little sleep.

Before he started waking in the middle of the night and staying awake, he generally used to wake at about 5.30, it's only this last week or so with the nightime wakings, that he sleeps until 6.30.

Incidentally, I work evenings and so don't go to bed at 1.00 which means I'm generally managing on 4 hours sleep a night - it's just getting too much to cope with.

Donna.

[laurencopenhaver]

Have you tried going to one nap a day?  He might be ready for the switch.  If he doesn't take the mid-late morning nap when does he go down?

[Layla]

Donna I would also give 1 nap a go but I would offer it around 11.30am as usually when on 1 nap they can only manage about 5hrs A time in the morning. So if he's waking at 6.30am then you want that nap around 11.30 (12 latest). At the start he might only end up taking 1 hr so you will probably have to do an earlier bedtime on those days (like 6.30pm). With time that nap will probably extend to 1.5-2hr nap with 11hrs at night.

With my 17mo we are doing:
6am - wakes
11:15 (aiming for 11.30) - nap (generally 2-2.5hrs although at the start was as short as 45mins-1hr)
5-5.30pm - bedtime (on the days she would & might take 45min-1hr nap)
6:30pm - bedtime on the days she takes a decent nap & is asleep by 6:45-7pm

hth
Layla

[laurencopenhaver]

Kyler is just shy of 16 months and we've been battling the switch for about 5 months now; still don't have it down.  Right now we're also struggling w/ the early wakeup.  The past couple days he's waking around 5:45, which is much better than the usual 5-5:15.  When he wakes now he usually talks/plays/mantra cries until it's time to get up (6:15-6:30)  so I just leave him.  And b/c of this we're on 2 naps cause by 9-9:30 he's whipped.  But when I WAS feeding him when he woke early, he'd go right back to sleep until 7.  On those days it was fairly easy to get him to stay up until 11-11:30.  So at 18 months you should be able to do that.  I was also told that getting too much daytime sleep can cause early wakings.  So I would definitely try the one nap just to see how it goes.  And I agree w/ Layla, that at first the nap will be short.  We've been off and on like I said, but the one nap a day is usually only around an hour.  We've never gone more than a week straight of one nap though for he was not ready and super early bedtime (5:45-6) in combination w/ the already early wakeup made it impossible for him to go back to sleep once he woke at 5 am, so we then went back to 2 naps.  Right now I'm focusing on fixing the early wakeup, which you might also want to start w/ if the one nap a day doesn't fix the problem, and then once that is fixed it will definitely be easier to transition to one nap.  I think at this age they're ready, but morning wakeup definitely has to stabilize otherwise you get what we've had w/ the constant back and forth of 1-2 naps, which messes Kyler up even more.  He's always needed a very structered routine to stay on track otherwise his body goes haywire.

What are you doing when he wakes in early am?  What does he do?  Is he talking/laughing/crying?

[DFreeman]

Hi Ladies

Thanks for your replies.  I have good news to report.  On Friday I started with the WI/WO routine and to our surprise, after only 3 times of going in and saying "night, night George, it's bedtime" he went back to sleep.  My husband and I laid in bed amazed!  He woke again on Saturday night and again on Sunday night, but each time after just one shush he went back to sleep. 

Also, we've been doing WI/WO for his nap (which has always been anything between 20 minutes and 1-1/5 hours and we have NEVER been able to get him back to sleep) and it's been a roaring success.  For the first time ever we've been able to get him to actually go back to sleep when he wakes up during the day and for the first time in a long time, he's had a fairly decent daytime nap.

So, thank you all for your support - as ever the Babywhisper reigns supreme.  I wish Tracy was still with us!

Donna.
x

[Layla]

Thats great to hear!!!

[laurencopenhaver]

Awesome!  I wish I had your success; we're still waking early and can't go back to sleep.  This morning it was 5.  Be thankful for your surprising sucess and cherish that baby; it's always so much easier to appreciate them when things are going well.  Good luck in the future.

[elmarie]

that's great Donna!   Wi/wo has also been a life saver for me on many occasions!!!!!