Do I need to start doing WI/WO?

[NiknLily]

Hi
I've been doing walk in/put down/walk out with DD for several months now.  At first this worked like a charm, but, theres always a but!, she now cant get through a wake up without me going in to do put down.  The only time which she never seems to need me is for the time between 11pm-5am.  At all other times if she arouses from sleep that tiny bit too much she wants my assistance getting back to sleep. 

I know a lot of her wakings are from being OT, she's been largely OT since transitioning to 1 nap, just gets over it then it creeps up again.  But now even for her naps she wakes at 45Min's and calls out for me.  We seldom get past 2 sleep cycles for her nap.  She isn't actually crying when calling me but if I leave her 1 of 2 things happen, she either just starts playing & talking and wont go back to sleep or just gets really angry then upset so I have to go in.  Either way I'm pretty sure its causing a lot of our sleep troubles.  She is always standing when I go in to her and so far I don't know that she has ever just laid herself back down and gone back to sleep, its like she thinks she needs me to come lay her down.

So what I wanted to know is do you think this has become a type of prop that I need to wean her from? If so, how?

I thought probably with doing wi/wo but I'm not that clued up on how to do it.

Any help greatly appreciated 

[Shdef]

What EXACTLY do you do when you resettle her? It looks as if whatever you do is too much arousal and has for some reason become a prop...

And what does her day look like?

[NiknLily]

Hi, thanks for answering 

I Go in lay her down and walk out.  She is nearly always standing, if she isn't she is kneeling up.  Sometimes she gets really upset and needs more calming then when she calms down I edge away and out the door.  She has started asking for Juice (any drink) so I give her few a drink then lay her down & leave.  I have over last few days been leaving her NW for as long as I dare as its largely just complaining rather than I need you, as soon as this has changed to angry/I need you, I have been going in sip of drink lay down and out again.  I have found she settles straight back to sleep this way and we haven't had any real upset, which takes her ages to settle down from.

I was going to ask earlier about whole drink issue as well, as I know this has just become a habit, she has to have a drink before she gets into cot and insists on one at every wake up.  This started when she had a bad cold and I think a sore throat so did genuinely want more fluid when waking from sleep.  Would it be OK to put a sippy of water in her cot with her so the excuse is no longer there or would you try to get rid of this at same time?

Our day is a little up in air at min as she is only just getting over OT from her cold & teething.  Plus the clocks have changed and as yet her day hasn't been stable enough to try shifting it.
6am wake
7am sippy milk
8.30 breakfast
10.45 snack
11.15 nap (normally asleep by 11.30)
12.45 wake up (OT nap)
5.45/6.00 bed (taking about 20-30Min's to settle)

On happier not tho' yesterday she took 1.5hr nap, bedtime went wonky but still didn't wake till 6am, and today slept from 11.45-12.30 woke drink back down, woke 15Min's later same thing, then 15 Min's later same thing then finally slept till 2.10pm.  So even with the wake ups she had quite a good catch up day today.  Put her to bed at 6.50, 5 call back's then asleep by 7.10 till dog woke her up shooting out catflap to be sick 

One last thing, last 2 days she has got really upset about going down for nap as soon as I put her in sleep sack, full on upset crying.  This hasn't lasted long and she quickly settles down.  Yesterday in an experiment I stayed outside room and listened while she complained and complained then started talking and messing about, hence she didn't sleep till 11.45 and was in cot at 11.00 as she was quite cranky, she fell asleep without me going back in after initial call back and slept for 1.5hrs, albeit she woke at 45Min's and I had to go in drink lay down and out.

[NiknLily]

Just bumping as I'm still hoping someone has some help for me 

[mum6791]

Hi new mum

I don't know how helpful I can be but we are going through a few of the same things right now.  We are slowly transitioning to one nap (but still are getting in 2 a day) and my dd is starting to cry when I go to put her down for naps and bedtime.  We use to be able to lay her down and then leave, no issues.  Now she start crying right away.  I've discovered that if I leave the room and wait 20 sec she totally settles down and we hear nothing else - same as you.  I'm really not sure what that is all about!

I would leave a sippy cup of water in the crib, that way she has it if she wants it and doesn't require you for it.  Also I'd only go into the room if she was really crying - not just fussing or playing.  I know it is hard because you want them to sleep not play, but I think once you have put them into the crib that it is up to them to sleep and you should only go in if required.

Once thing I've also noticed with my dd is that we were going in WAY TOO SOON when she started crying/fussing.  I think that made things way worse.  We have started waiting for a longer period and it turns out that she puts herself back to sleep so many more times than I would have thought.  It is so hard to leave them, but I realized I was making her more upset by going in.  I used pd in the past very successfully for nw and teaching independent sleep, but it seems too stimulating now.  My ds has ew and I tried using wi/wo for it, but it was so painful and our day started out so poorly that I decided to just lay on her floor when she wakes early and I just shh when she cries.  We have had some sucess getting her sleeping later (especially since we went through the time change last week).  I don't know that I'd try that for naps though.

So maybe try leaving the sippy cup of water in the cot, and only go in if she is really upset, but also give her a chance to settle.  It might mean she doesn't go back to sleep as often for a few days, but hopefully she'll get back to independent sleep soon!  A lot of it is probably OT related, which is so hard to combat when they refuse one of their two naps. 

Good luck, keep me posted.
Jess

[NiknLily]

Hi
Thanks for answering.  You seem to be where we where a couples of months ago in the 2-1Trans.  I also had to do a spell of laying on her floor in the early morning and just shushing when she fussed, then progressed to wi/pd/wo then she finally stopped waking so early.

I think I am going in too soon and since posting I have been hanging back and not going in to soon and it does seem to be helping.  We have had 3 days of good nap, 1.5hrs 2.15hrs & 1.75hrs today, so a huge improvement.  Sometimes I knew I should of not gone in by her reaction she would have what I call a cot tantrum, wouldn't be laid down, picking up wouldn't help, just screamed & cried, then it would take up to 1hr to calm her down and get her back to sleep.

I think I will put sippy in cot, just wanted someone else's opinion, hopefully that will help reduce times she calls me for a drink.

You've pretty much confirmed what I had come to conclusion of myself.  It just really helps to have someone else's opinion/confirmation.

Thanks again 

[mum6791]

Did you find that the early wakings went away once she was down to one nap?  Or did they improve before?  My dd has had some improvements lately and the morning aren't as early, but I feel like they won't be totally gone until she is down to one nap.

It is always nice to get confirmation, it is so hard to figure these little ones out!  Just when you think you have it...  There was a time not that long ago that when I went into the room she would calm down, but now that only seems to be the case in the morning now.

Those naps sound great.  From what I have read on the boards it sounds like it takes a while to get good naps once you switch to one, but those sound great.

The not responding too soon is hard.  It is kind of funny though - it is like we were the ones that needed the training for that!  I still don't have down pat which cry means come right away and which one means if you come in now I'll get even more mad.  I'm guessing that will come with time.  I know exactly what you mean by the cot tantrum - my dd does that too!  It is hard to go from everyone of their cries meaning I need/want you to some of them meaning "please leave me be".

Good luck.

[NiknLily]

We had a nightmare time with the transition  and along the way our day completely shifted down to 5am-5/5.30pm.  DD naps where all over the place, 2 naps just where not working so I shifted her day 10mins a day up to 7am-7pm and put her on 1 nap at set time each day and quite quickly her routine stabilised.  Still doesn't take a lot to throw her back into OT cycle and we get early evening wakings, NW's and poor naps as a result.  Takes ages to get her to catch up.

Got a horrible feeling our run of good naps is about to end.  DD just messed about too long settling down for nap, if we don't get a 1.15hrs OT nap I'll be a monkeys uncle 

Hope your transition goes as smoothly as possible.  If it doesn't take a look at the 2-1transition support thread, the ladies going through it at present are doing really well and so good at supporting each other, its a good place to hang out