Help with starting easy with a windy 3 week old

[Grace's Mom]

Many times there will be A time before E and that's ok as they won't always sleep until their next feed. 

If you know putting him down will take longer, then you'll want to start early so that he is down before becoming OT.  It will make it easier for the both of you. 

Definitely check out the reflux boards....down towards the bottom of the threads page.  They will have some great advice for you there. 

Melissa

[Grace's Mom]

How is sweetie pie Callum doing? 

-Melissa

[emz1907]

Not too bad thanks. I think a combination of the gaviscon and infacol is helping control the reflux it a lot more, although the poor little mite suffered during the night last night We're still working on an AESY schedule, with the odd A after E but not often. He is just still far too sleepy after a feed to do A, whenever we try he gets ot far too quickly.

Ive found over the last week Ive really felt like Ive finally got to grips with being a mum. It was so scary and daunting to begin with I felt it was affecting my time with Callum. I dont know what changed, maybe Ive just grown more confident but I feel so much better about everything and like I can cope with it all now.

[Grace's Mom]

I am glad you are feeling more confident as a mom now.  That's so wonderful to hear.
I remember the first 5-6 weeks were so hard on me as a mom.  I thought it would be so much easier and I thought I knew what to do and then reality hit.  I remember it being such a good feeling realizing that I was figuring out how to do things, I felt like a real mom, iykwim.

Keep us updated.

Melissa

[emz1907]

Had a nightmare of a night last night, looks like I spoke too soon He was up every hour which is osmething he's never done. He was so sleepy from having bad naps during the day that he wouldn't take a full feed before drifting off again, hence he only cat napped before waking again. Im totally shattered, he screamed for most of this am with ot before finally going for a nap at 12.30ish. Now he's so tired he wouldn't wake up properly for his next feed and went straight back down. A bomb could go off and he wouldn't open his eyes right now. Im now panicking about how tonight will be incase he's getting too much sleep. You always just think your finding your feet then a spanner gets thrown in the works to catch you off guard feeling low today

[Grace's Mom]

I am so sorry to hear this.   

I appologize for not being on sooner. 

How are things going now?

-Melissa

[emz1907]

Ive decided to introduce another feed at 10.30ish at night as he was settling into a 2am then 5am wake up routine which was hell on the energy levels. This way he wakes at 4/5am then again around 7 which is a lot better for us. Not sure if that's 'bw' but it works for us.

Im actually feeling a bit jittery with bw today, my parents were here looking after Callum for us and they were suprised when I said I woke him up for feeds. They were all 'I thought you never woke a baby, we never woke you, isnt he getting ot because you never let him sleep for long' etc etc Its got me feeling as though Im being cruel and maybe I should let him sleep and wake when he's ready.

[MJMom]

10:30 night feed is actually very BW.  It's the Dream Feed!  And that is perfect that you get the sleep when you need it too!

When you are waking him for feeds, when are you doing it?  It's good at the beginning to establish day and night schedules, i.e. to not let them sleep too much in the day time so they are waking all night. 

Can you post your routine and when you are waking to feed?  In some cases, as night/day are established, you don't need to wake them.  If they have slept longer than 2 hrs straight during the day, you would want to wake them to keep the day/night, but you wouldn't want to wake them to say get a strict 3 hr routine.  Make sense?

HTH

[emz1907]

The only thing is its not a dream feed as such as I wake him for it. I tried to do the proper dream feed but he just wouldn't take the teat and it took ages to get a few izs down him. Also I just feel wrong doing it, I feel like Im force feeding him which I know is daft but Im just not comfortable with it

Im tending to wake him if its going past the 3hr mark since his last feed (is it right that you time from the start of his feed not the end?), is that wrong? I thought thats what I was supposed to be doing to keep him on a 3hr easy. Sometimes if its taken him a long time to get to sleep or if he's missed naps earlier in the day I let him go 4 hrs since a feed but not often. If he's had bad naps his next one he would happily sleep for 4-5hrs sometimes. I know this from when we were on demand feeding on advice from the midwife, he would often hit 5hrs since a feed, but yet he still only woke once during the night. So are you saying that if he hasn't gone down until late after his feed its ok to let the next 3hr mark feed slip back a bit to allow him a longer sleep as long as that sleep doesn't exceed 2hrs? This is what my parents were saying today that he should be allowed to sleep as long as he needs as he will wake when hungry. It seems alien to them to wake a baby and they reckon he should have longer naps if he's crashed out. Its made me feel cruel for trying to wake him up now

Our routine is so varied Im not sure it would help you. 

[MJMom]

I think you gave me enough to answer your questions though.  EASy is a predictable routine.  Not a rigid schedule, so I would agree with your parents as to not wake up your child right at 3 hours. (yes, you count from beginning of a feed to a beginning of a feed).  When he was a younger sleepier babe, that is pretty normal to be able to go that long between feeds.  that generally is for the first two weeks.  He probably won't be able to go 4 or 5 hrs any more.  But especially if it took him a while to go down, then go ahead and let him sleep until he's napped for 2 hrs and then get him up (although, honestly, I've let me DD go about 2.15 minutes, but that was always her max.  If EASY is 3 hrs some times, 3.5 hrs others and some where in between, that is fine and normal!! 

You weren't being cruel at all!  You were doing what you thought was best!      And if you're implementing Tracy's methods, its' because you are a compassionate mom!!! 

[emz1907]

Thanks for the reply, you see my parents were saying he should be sleeping 4 hrs + at a time! Because, and this is the famous line, 'that's what we did with you' They seemed very suprised that his naps ahould be 1.5-2hrs max. I think I was concentrating too much on the feed aspect of things and letting the sleep side suffer as a result. Although he does still get a few decent naps a day there is always the short ones too. Like now, this morning has been all over the place. Feeds within an hour of eachother (he split one bottle in half with an hour break inbetween for some reason), awake for ages and now he's sleeping for like 2 mins then waking. I settle him again and its maybe 5 mins then awake again Im lost with what to do with him at times like this, he isnt displaying any obvious cues for hunger or sleep but got cranky when I tried some A time which is why I put him down. The only thing I can think of next is to try another feed again. Our days are often unsettled like this, bedtime and nights go pretty much the same but the rest of the day is up in the air!

[MJMom]

I think sometimes the naps can go up to 2.30 safely, but 4 hrs!  That's a lot AND surprising.  It kind of makes me wonder what the rest of their day looked like?      At least your mom let you sleep.  My mom tells me "babies sleep when they're tired, if they don't fall asleep they're not tired."   So in other words, I was an OT baby (lucky for her an Angel baby) that just passed out from exhaustion.  Nice.  Funny thing is... now I know why I have really odd sleep patterns now.  She never taught me how to sleep! 
Any way... I digress.

Based on your LO's age and what you are describing, he is probably tired and not hungry.  There were big swings in what my LO could eat at a sitting back then.  It could be 1 oz one feeding, 3 oz another feeding and 5 another.  And that is just when we fed her from the bottle.  He is developing much more neurologically and is beginning to be more of an infant rather than the sleepy newborn you brought home from the hospital.  It will be a little bit harder to get him settled for a while as he is more aware of his body and the world around him.  Here is a link to teaching sleep to infants and newborns.  This should help.
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=85500.0

Also, since your LO has Reflux, you may want to check out the Colic Reflux Boards
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=13.0

HTH!
Keep us posted!

[emz1907]

Thanks for all the info, Ill take a look at those links.

We went out again today and again we had a LOT of crying He seems to start squirming in his seat which then wakes him up and then he screams with ot. Im wondering if he's squirming because of a reflux/wind pain or if his car seat is uncomfortable for him. I don't know, he ended up having 3 feeds 2 hours apart today and only about 2 hrs broken up nap time since this morning. A very mixed day.

[MJMom]

our LO never liked the car seat until about 7 months old.  I stopped taking her out because I live in an area where a car isn't really needed.  I know that is likely not an option for you.