Transition to 4 hour easy with second child

[happy2bamum]

I am currently struggling to get my 4.5 month old on to a 4 hour easy or even a 3.5 hour EASY for that matter. I find that if I put her into bed at the time I was putting her in before she was 4 months  (1 hour 10 minutes after waking to get to sleep by 1 hour 30 minutes), she wakes after 40 minutes as she hasn't had enough A time but if I keep her up longer (put her in bed at 1 hour 25 minutes to be asleep by 1 hour 45 minutes or put her in at 1 hour 40 to be asleep by 2 hours post-waking) she wakes after 40 minutes from overtiredness. I do not have the time to PU/PD with her as I also have a 2 year old. I can't stand there for an hour plus doing PU/PD while the older child runs around causing havoc. My baby can go 4 hours between feeds as she has done it before but at the moment our routine is all out of whack so it doesn't actually end up being 4 hours between feeds...lately with the naps shortening, I am even finding that I am feeding her before 3 hours. As you can imagine, she only ends up snacking. It is a vicious cycle.  I have tried to follow Tracey's advice re extending A time to transition to 4 hour easy and have been doing so for a month now. It feels like things have gotten worse.

Has anyone got any tips on this? Please bare in mind that I have another child so PU/PD for long periods of time isn't really an option. And in any event, I find that picking her up frustrates her more when she is fussy. She responds better to being patted whilst laying in her cot.

Any advice REALLY appreciated as naps are shortening and nightwakings are becoming more and more frequent.

[momofclaire]

I would first try to focus on her cues and not the time.  Do you have an idea of what amount of A time she can handle?  If she can't handle about 2 hours of A time then a 4 hour easy is going to be tough.  Do you have a good windown routine?  How does she fall asleep?  Are there props involved? 

[happy2bamum]

Thanks for replying. Things have settled down a fair bit with naps. I think my prop might be the patting to sleep - definately during start of some naps and when going to sleep for the night. I can now find that she can do around an hour and a half before putting her down. Most of the time she needs to be patted and seems to sleep well at nap time if asleep by 1 hour 40 after waking. Her cues of tiredness seem to occur quite early still - sometimes 1 hour 10 mins and sometimes 1 hour 25. She is 5 and a half months old now and still not really on 4 hour EASY. Sometimes it ends up being 3 hours. As a result, she is waking a lot at night. I feel like I have a newborn at the moment as I have been feeding her sometimes 2 or 3 times at night. I know that that is bad but I find it is the only way to settle her so she doesn't wake my toddler. I don't feed her to sleep.  I just find that a feed and a burp will calm her and then she goes off to sleep if I leave her to do so. I don't want to keep this up but I am hoping that the introduction of solids might help and will definately feel better about resisting her feeds when she is about 8 months old. But then I wonder if I can keep this up as I am quite tired. I find PU/PD is a bit too unrealistic given that there is a toddler in a room very close by. Any thoughts?