So close to giving up -- please help!!!

[tazsmum]

I am so close to giving up on breastfeeding.  I don't want to, but I'm so frustrated.  In a nutshell, I've had problems with ds since day one.  We sorted out the bad latch, but then were dealing with reflux.  He's now on meds for that since his weight gain has been very poor.  He still seems in pain sometimes after feeds though.
Over the past few days he's become very fussy and annoying at the breast.  I don't know what's going on.  I have overactive letdown which used to annoy him, but it seems to be getting better now.  He sucks fine for the first few minutes and then starts pulling on my nipple -- HARD.  I have to swaddle him now when I feed or he scratches my boobs.  I thought my milk supply was dwindling, but I tried hand expressing and it was spraying out.  Also, the other night after he was doing this for half an hour and my boobs were sore, I gave him to dh who offered him a bottle of formula (first time we did this -- I was so frustrated and tired) and he did the same.  The thing is that he's not gaining well, but he doesn't seem to want to eat.  The only time he feeds well is when he's half asleep. Feeding times are becoming marathon fighting sessions and it's also negatively impacting on time I can spend with dd.  Please help!!!

[RachelC]

{{{hugs}}}

Have you been to the doctor lately to discuss the reflux meds?  He may be in pain and swallowing makes it worse.  It may be time for a change in the dosage. 

[maggie2]

Hi Kiran,

I just wanted to offer you some {{{hugs}}}} - I know how frustrating a tough BF'ing relationship can be - we had a difficult time with my ds - I ended up stopping, then totally regretted it, tried to relactate, didn't work, and well, it was just a mess!!!  I just couldn't make up my mind!

Anyway, I would also ask the doctor and contact a lactation consultant as well if you haven't already.  It sounds like something different than what we went through recently, but dd went through a phase of tugging really hard on my breast and nipple - I don't know why - it lasted about 2 weeks, on and off.  She was really fussy I was in pain from it!  But it worked itself out.

Just make sure that you really think it through before giving up on it.  maybe you could just pump for a while and bottle feed?  But it does sound like the reflux is acting up and causing him some pain.

Hope you get things sorted out soon!

Maggie

[tazsmum]

Thanks Maggie.  I haven't seen a lactation consultant recently -- there is a really good breastfeeding clinic nearby, but it's difficult to go because I can't expect dd to amuse herself for an hour while I'm there.  I asked dp to take a day off work, but he can't.  We have doc's appt on Monday so I'll talk to her about it.  The thing is I just don't feel I have the time to pump.  His feeds take so long as it is that I barely have time for my dd.  Pumping would just add to that.  It's frustrating because I bf dd until I got pregnant again and I just assumed I would also bf this one for at least a year.  I also assumed that it would go smoothly and that things would have settled down by now.  I'm still hoping it's just a phase, but I do feel it's linked to his reflux.

Rachel, yes, I do plan on having a discussion with the doc about his meds.  It's just so difficult to know what's going on when all they do is cry.  If I could just ask him what was wrong, it would be so much easier!!!!

[carly-g]

I'd call the breastfeeding clinic anyways-- sometimes a LC can come directly to your home.  We had some problems early on and again at about 2 months, and a consultant came to us both times and it really helped.  (It was surprisingly inexpensive, too!)  DS is almost 6 months, and we are still bfing!

Good Luck- and just know that what every you do is the right thing if you and your lo are happy!

[LucyA]

{{{{{hugs}}}}} Kiran
I've had problems bfing dd this time round too, and problems with slow weight gain. I think we ended up with a bit of a foremilk imbalance, leading to lots of wind and discomfort for her. She is a very quick feeder, usually 10 min max, and just wouldn't take more. I have been pumping a little at the start of a feed a few times a day (not every feed, between 2-4 feeds a day I guess), and she seems much happier, and is putting on weight much better.

I think a big thing for us also was that she just got that little bit older (if not bigger... ) and things just got easier. It all improved for us around 12-14 weeks.

I saw a LC, and one of the things she also suggested was lots of tummy time to help her develop all the muscles in her torso.

Good luck

[meltown]

the pulling and the fussing doesn't seem to be the Bfing it seems to be the reflux.  this is common for babies with problems like this.  it is hard and painful for you I am sure.  I think it all matters on you and what you feel you need to do.  try not to blame yourself and know that it may work out as you get the reflux in order.      hope it gets better soon!