What's going on? Crying at breast

[tanya001]

Hi Nicola, i have a 13 week old girl, Lauren, and she is doing exactly the same. She always goes on quickly but comes off after a couple of sucks or after 5 minutes then bobs on and off, sometimes looking up at the ceiling and crying and generally getting very frustrated. It started with some difficulties at 4 weeks on and off.  I have always used 1 or 2 bottle feeds a day and maybe this is the cause for me, who knows?  I have tried going from one side feeds to 5 minutes each side alternating, and lying down which works better, but as you say you dont want to lie down all the time. Oh, and for a few days she would not nurse on the left then not on the right!  I notice she is better at feeding in the morning, though when she feeds peacefully she almost always falls asleep and then it is a constant vidual to keep her awake and sucking.  Also when she gets upset there is no point in keeping trying!  I have spoken to breastfeeding support groups and to be honest noone seems to have a magic solution.  I am trying to keep it up but when it gets us both so stressed i wonder if it would be better to just give bottles.  Still to have got to 3 months it is a shame to give up now.  When it works and you are in harmony it is the best feeling in the world but when it doesn't it is sooo stressful.  Just thought i would let you know you are not alone in tearing your hair out!!

[SallyDom]

Hi Nicola,

I mentioned on the other the birth club post that I think Zac has had some tummy aches today, and it sounds just like what your describing. It's actually happened about 5 times in the last 3 days. I don't have a solution so would be really interested in anything that seems to work for you. From reading this post it sounds like a common thing to happen at 3 months ish.

Hope things continue to improve (but obviously without the vomit!), keep us updated

Sal
x

[*Nicola*]

Hiya guys

Kiran, Callie does exactly the same re latch in the cradle hold.  She just won't tolerate it at all.  If I am right feeding and I hold her head in my left hand and breast in right hand she will accept that and then I can hold her again in cradle hold, but it is so tedious, frustrating and sore to continually do that! This is what I do mostly if she won't feed.  Thinking back ... when she used to be OT by bedtime (poor nap time) it was the only way she would feed.  How strange, I'd totally forgot about that.

Sal, I was also wondering if there were some tummy aches going on.  3 times when she's been very fussy at breast she has been really windy and very smelly    .  We've had about 4 dirty nappies in 2 days, which is a lot for her now.  Last 2 nights at DF and night feeds she has been windy too.  Makes me laugh. 

Tanya (((Hugs))) I totally understand what you mean about bottles.  Ciara (DD1) said to Callie yesterday 'mummy will give you a bottle if you keep fussing'  LOL  Did you look at the link Angela gave on page 1?  Did anything stand out?

Well, yesterday after vomiting up her feeds she was tired so I put her down for her 3rd nap but she wouldn't sleep just kept blethering to herself quite happily.  I got her up and she was trying to munch my face and neck  so I offered her breast and she fed, for about 30 mins!    Very, very strange as she only usually takes 10 mins max.  She stayed feeding and missed her catnap so I put her down earlier but she was too tired at bedtime to feed so woke up 1 hr later for a feed.  This mornings feed was fine but lots of wide open mouths later on, wouldn't feed again though.

Her behaviour is exactly the same as it was at 12 weeks when she had her growth spurt and I had AF.  It is too soon for another GS (although I know they dont follow calendar) and there is no NW's and AF is nowhere in sight so I have no idea!!

The joys! Today is another day     

[Purplecattypants]

Hey Nicola,

Glad you've had a couple of successful feeds...these babies like to mix it up, keep us on our toes yunno!!

Given that she feeds well at night, it might just be a case of the "highly distractibles"?! Especially with another lo running about. During the day, Callie probably just wants to look around and listen to things rather than feeding. Another thing to consider is ear ache...although given that you have the same problem no matter what side she's lying on, and that its only during the day, I would say its probably more like the "HD's" as I like to call it instead 

I know what you mean about them being windy....sometimes when I put Josh down after his DF, he just lies there with his eyes closed, banging his legs up and down, throwing his head from side to side...then the most gigantic bottom burp comes out and goes straight on sleeping....I have to make sure I dont laugh too loud so I don't wake him up!!

Oh, and the blethering is also funny...although not at certain times of the day! Night before last, Josh woke us up at 3am just chatting to himself...VERY loudly! I left him, but he wouldnt quieten down so I ended up going in to feed him at half 3 just to shut him up....then he continued doing it after I put him down! Guess whose found his voice LOL 

[*Nicola*]

Angela,

She is most definitely 'HD', without a doubt.  If we are at the other end of the house and the front door opens she pauses in her suckling.  Menace.  She will often suck, pop off, suck, pop off, smile, suck, pop off lol you know!?  The crying was new, only seen before when she had GS and I had AF but maybe it is just related to the HDs.  Too busy to feed but wants to feed?

Both feeds today have been fine, so we will see what the rest of the day brings x

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

Take it one day at a time.  Could be that she had a bit of a bug or a cold and it's passing....also, if she misses feeds or doesn't feed well for a day or so, or keep puking them up  she might be trying to make up for it now.  I'd say if it persists, maybe treat it like overactive letdown problems for a few days - modify positioning, pop off when the letdown happens and let it spray off a bit.  If that doesn't help, then I'd re-look at the reflux 101...

[Purplecattypants]

Hmmm, yes I know exactly what you mean Nicola! Josh is terrible for distraction atm...."ooooh, I can hear the tv, lets see if I can watch it" pops off....on again, then pops off "I love you sooo much mummy" GRIN..on again..."hmmm mummys trying to actually DO something while she's feeding me (read a magazine/do some brain training on the ds)..lets have a look" pops off again. And so on and so forth! I even had to leave it a bit earlier, then feed him again standing up & swaying while he studied the vase of roses on the mantlepiece. Menace, as you say 

[*Nicola*]

Angela, that post made me smile!!

So ... today has been OK really.  Morning and lunch time feeds fine (only us in house) .  Afternoon feeds when DD and SIL were about.  She latched on well but started fussing at let down, pulling back but staying latched then cried.  Took her to quiet room, latched her on whilst rocking her slightly as she cried when I tried to latch her initially, and she had a good feed.

I have been paying attention to the feeds since you mentioned letdown Angela, and I have noticed that she 'pulls back' slightly just after initial letdown.  She does this during night and at DF too.  She seems to cope with it better if there are no distractions but when things are busy it seems too much for her.  Could this be the case?  That if she isn't concentrating fully on eating that letdown can be too much for her?

Erin, I let the milk flow a bit today when she popped off and she took the feed fine after that.  If it is overactive letdown why would it just appear/bother her now? 

Just wanted to say thanks again everyone 

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

If it is overactive letdown why would it just appear/bother her now? 

Dunno....  But....if it works, then go with it and don't ask too many questions! 

[Purplecattypants]

Glad my post made you smile!

So glad things are better today! Its good its helped when you're on your own with her, although I know thats not going to be practical all the time. If I am out of the house or if we have visitors I always have to go somewhere quiet to feed Josh...sometimes even if we're alone in the house I have to feed him in his room as theres just tooooo much to look at in the living room 

Yes, if she is pulling away during letdown it sounds like its a bit fast for her. Do as pp suggested, when she comes off let the milk flow into a muslin and when it stops latch her back on. It may have just become a problem if she's just had a growth spurt and you're producing more milk....I know thats when the problems started for us. Annoying I know! Either that or as you said. she's just reached an age where she's more aware of her surroundings and is therefore too busy concentrating on other things than dealing with the flow, IYKWIM!

Keep us posted x

[*Nicola*]

If it is overactive letdown why would it just appear/bother her now? 

Dunno....  But....if it works, then go with it and don't ask too many questions! 

LOL very good point!

[*Nicola*]

Angela, when Callie has been looking to feed extra it is in her room.  I wonder if it suits her better in there. No TV, no Ciara, constant white noise from humidifier, dim lights etc.  Going to make an effort to do all feeds in quiet room to see if it makes a difference. 

DP just brought me chips and cheese from takeaway to cheer me up - having a strange bleugh day - must go and devour them.  Hopefully Callie will like cheese and chips milk tomorrow and eat like a good girl! 

[Purplecattypants]

Ooooh cheesy chips! Awesome comfort food yum yuuummm. If that doesnt get her eating, nothing will! Top it off with some chocolate, that'll get the girl suckling 

Thats good, although it may be difficult to feed her in her room all the time, at least you know you have somewhere she feeds well. Hope it works for you 

Enjoy your dinner! 

[*Nicola*]

Today hasn't been great again   

Refusing to feed then showing hunger cues. 

Today she wouldn't feed so we put her down when it came to nap time.  Of course she was hungry so she cried.  Got her up and she latched on not too bad.  Didn't feed for long.  Spent about 10 minutes desperately trying to eat her hands, refused feeds.  Put her back down and could NOT get her swaddled as she kept trying to eat both of her hands.  Checked for teeth/sore bits and can't see anything.  She went to sleep within 5 mins so she can't be hungry can she?? Think I am going to give her some paracetomol when she wakes up and keep it up until tomorrow to see if there is pain somewhere.

Sigh.  Really got the better of me today and I have been in floods of tears which just isn't like me at all. 

Thanks for listening.

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

I was just about to suggest some pain meds in case it really is teeth....  (Great minds think alike and all that, right?)

{{{HUGS}}}