Need advice on how to use properly WI/WO

[Anabecca]

Hi all, thanks in advance for the help you might give to a desperate mother that needs some sleep 

I have a 19mo girl and a 3mo boy. My girl wich has allways been quite spirited was a relatively good sleeper either for naps and at night time, very usually waking up during the night but not taking much effort to get her back to sleep.

Things have gone totally off track and i recognice that this hasnt been an overnight thing, it started at the end of my pregnancy and with the arrival of the new baby, when others had to take care of her while i was recovering from a C section, with changes like making her sleep in the pram for her naps instead of the cot, and changing her mealtimes or spoiling them with snacks  (ahhh! grandmas...). This changes though wasnt affecting her much at night times, she would still go to sleep at her time, and sleep through most of nights.

Then she fell ill, with a very bad cold, after that she had a gastroenteritis and now she is going through another cold and an ear infection. I know that is pointless to try a routine right now, but i fear that i will have problems when she recovers because now things are a total mess. She wakes up every night and takes me sometimes 3 hours to get her back to sleep, that is now, but in between the colds she was waking up too, i dont know if because she wasnt really recovered or for some teething also going on or because of some jealousy for the little brother or a mix of everything.

My questions are, when she was "half" well she woke during the night and only settled if i picked her up. If i tried to put her down she would literally scream her head off, and if i didnt pick her up nothing seemed to work, patting or shh or standing there so she could notice my presence, nothing, so once i pick her up, when is the right moment to put her down and leave the room? If she stops crying on my shoulder but i try to lie her down, then she starts crying again, do i leave the room now and listen to the cry, to see how it is? (generally escalates to an histerical cry so i have to go and pick her up again) or do i avoid to pick her up at all and try to calm her while she is in the cot?

thanks a lot for your answers

[Colin Macs Mom]

It's absolutely normal for a LO to need some extra comfort and cuddles when sick. And I personally believe that it's better to go with it and give that until LO is well, and fix any bad habits after LO is well again. And after all she's been through with illness    I'd want the extra snuggles too! Since she was a good sleeper before, she should be able to go back to her old habits pretty easily with a little encouragement, once she's fully recovered.

It's also quite normal for LO#1 to have sleep distrurbances when #2 comes - I have no experience with that myself obviously but if you check out the And Then There Were Two area you will find some information.

[Anabecca]

Hi again, thanks Colin Mac's Mom for your answer.
Of course now she is getting as many cuddles as she wants, my question was for when she is better, in case i have to apply a method i would go for wi/wo, and i have those doubts about how to do it well, thats all

[Colin Macs Mom]

Oh - sorry    yes, I would go for WI/WO in that case.

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0
See this link for the how-to.

[jessica and emilys mummy]

Hi,I've had the most horrendous experience with a bad sleeper and she started at about 16 months old.
My saviour (a fab BW Mum) told me to do this,but bear with it because the first night the screaming can nearly drive you pack it all in (or pack up and get out  )
 
Right,put her to bed as you normally would,story,songs or whatever your normal routine is.The go out and shut the door and count to 10,then go back in,lay her down,stroke head once and go out and shut the door and count to 10,then go back in,lay her down,stroke head once and go out and shut the door etc
Carry this on until she has stopped crying.Only count while she is crying and you can make the counting as long or as short as you like. (example: 12345678910 or 1...............2..................3.................4 etc)

As I said the first night is the worst thing in the world.In my case it was taking ,me about 3hrs to get her to bed and then she was up through the night.This went on for ages and the first night I did this took 51 minutes the second night was 36 mins and the 3rd night was about 10 mins.The following night was only a few minutes and after then it was only once or twice.
I'm hoping you won't have to do this,but if you do then I'm sure you'll only have to do it for a short time.
Good luck and hope she's better soon

[Anabecca]

Ill keep my fingers crossed but it looks like she is doing well! last 2 nights slept through the whole night, and thats two nights in a row in like 3 months, yepeeee! 

[mari]

Anabecca, don't be surprised if she has a little relapse, but whatever you happens, just ensure that you do exactly as you have been doing and she should get back on track.
When I did WIWO, I finally got Alex to sleep through the night and after about a week she came back with a vengeance and I just did the WIWO again, she was soon back sleeping through and I haven't looked back since.

Good luck

[Colin Macs Mom]

Fantastic!!