multiple babysitters - spirited kids

[ggibson]

My DS is 9 months . in a few months I will be off to work. 
My mom will be taking care of him and has agreed to do Mon - friday. I trust my mom and I know her style. 

Now my inlaws suggested that they can babysit Fridays.  During winter or their vacations they may not be able to make it.
My thoughts are that spirited kids need consistency, routine and one caregiver. they do not adapt easily to changes and changes everyweek may cause resistence.
additionally my inlaws believe in the crying out method 

please provide your thoughts and feedback.

[Jaime]

hello,

i think it sounds like your mother would be the best fit for your needs.    saying, that, though, you are not going to want to alienate your ILs (who, frankly, sound only sort-of-dependable at best) since they are family & all.  maybe you could approach them from the perspective that they could be back-ups in case of emergency??

[*Mona*]

hi

I was always very very anxious about leaving dd with ILs BUT when I finally did [dd was 7 or 8 months] and they had the chance to spend some time alone with her and not just 10 minutes but a whole day, I realised that they a. don't want to do her any harm, b. love her a lot, c. it's good for my baby to have contact with different people in her life, d. even one day a week a bit off the routine is not that bad as your baby knows that there are things he can do with you and others that he can do with grnadparents and you wouldn't let him KWIM? babies are smart, even as little as 9 month old ones.

I'd let them babysit your LO but be very very strict about CIO. tell them you don't believe that's a solution to any problems and that you allow them take care of him every week under the condition of absolutely no CIO. if they really want to babysit him, they should comply IMO.

[ggibson]

Thanks ! good food for thought

I tend to be overprotective and want the best for my LO. ever since my inlaws suggested to babysit Friday's I have been worried sick and think about it all the time.  :-[The one time they babysat DS ( 6 months) they allowed him to cry and did not attend to him immediately. "it spoils them" was the response


It also makes it easy for me to communicate to my Mom. ILs may take it the wrong way.
I like the back up  idea.
I also need to be bold enough to tell them that CIO will not be tolerated if they do babysit.
my other option is to make it once a month...........compromise.

My inlaws are always comparing. they constantly compare their two sons. now they keep comparing their grandchildren and daughter-in-laws. Also, I heard a while ago that my MIL put soap in her son's mouth ( age 14 )when he said "hell" and "Damn"...so I am worried that they may ( not intentionally) upset by DS

It helps to vent..............thanks again for your thoughts and feedback. Appreciate it