DS wakes every hour when it's bedtime

[NoonieP]

How old is your child? 5mo
What’s his/her daily routine? wakes around 8
What’s nap routine? whenever he is tired, we are getting ready to start EASY
How long are naps? 20min to 1 hour
What's bedtime routine? Time? We aim for 7
Do you bottle or breastfed?? BF
How much? or how long?  10min
If breastfed.. one side or both?? (at each feed) one side
How many wakes per night? 3
What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up? he is still asleep when he grunts/groans
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry? he doesn't cry, he groans/makes straining noises
What have you tried to settle?? he back in a deep sleep as soon as I pick him up
What do you do for A time and how long is it? We play with toys, sing, walk around the house, watch tv (but I'm usually playing with him and toys at same time)
Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones? none
Have you introduced cereal? Why, how much, and how many times a day? (for LO’s under 6 months) Fruit/veggie in morning, cereal at night (about 1/2 cup with breast milk) he didn't seem to get enough to eat from me and he now loves his cereal
Do they have a prop? If so what is it? paci
Do they have a lovie? no

My DS doesn't like to take naps or go to bed. When he is tired and you lay him down (or even hold him so his tummy is up) he starts to cry, this would be the only time he cries. Once we soothe him and then put him to bed, he is fussy. For naptime, he will just lay there and babble, suck his feet or socks and practice whatever new noise he has learned. I've left him there for an hour and he hasn't gone to sleep. He gets excited when I go in to put his paci back in and he acts like he's taken a nap and is refreshed. However, he is then red eyed and tired and obviously needs a nap.

At night, we put him down and every hour until midnight or so, he is groaning/straining and making noises like he is uncomfortable. He will eat a little if I try to feed him, but not enough for me to think he was actually hungry. As soon as I pick him up and his head hits my shoulder he is back to a deep sleep. I just have to hold him for a few min and he's back to sleep. If I bring him into the bed with me (which I love to do, but really don't want to due to SIDS) he will sleep like a log sttn.

Sorry for the long post, just trying to explain everything best that I can. 

My question (finally) does anyone have a suggestion to why he won't stay asleep at night and why he won't take a nap when he is clearly tired? I try not to let him get overtired during the day, but I swear he is just as happy with 20 minute naps as he is with an hour nap. My mum said I was the same way but she hasn't given me any helpful advice other than "you were the same way"  It's almost as if he's convinced he is missing something and needs to wake up to make sure we are not having a great time without him.

[oilerbaby]

I'm sorry I don't have any advice to offer but just wanted to pass along some hugs.  Perhaps when you make the transition to EASY things might straighten out a bit? 

[claires mum]

My impression is that he is dependent upon you to sleep and therefore re-settle at night.  When a baby goes to sleep it is under certain conditions.  When they wake between sleep cycles (every hour at night and every 45 minutes during the day...on average) and those sleep conditions have changed...they wake up and need the same conditions to reappear to go back to sleep.  Those sleep conditions probably include you...does that sound right?  IF so, you need to break the sleep prop.  There are 2 methods recommended on this forum - PU/PD or gentle removal plan.  I suggest that you read the FAQ sheets and the Tracy Hogg sleep interview to give you some insight into which plan will work best for you.  Once you decide to tackle this (and it's tough)...you should see some results within 3 days if you are really consistent.  But overall it can take up to 2 weeks to get the new behaviour bedded down.

The day and night sleep issues should start to resolve themselves with a good, predictable routine.  Start the 4 hour EASY routine as soon as you can and again...stick to it for 3-5 days consistently.  If the results aren't there, come back to us for a bit of tweaking.  All babies are different - so it's not unusual to adjust the routine to suit individual needs. 

4-hour E.A.S.Y. (4 months and older)
E:  7:00 wake up and feed
A:  7:30
S:  9:00 (for 1.5-2 hours nap)
Y:  Your choice
E:  11:00
A:  11:30
S:  1:00 (1.5-2 hours)
Y:  Your choice
E:  3:00
A:  3:30
S:  5:00 or 6:00 or somewhere in between:  catnap [most babies drop this between 6-8 months, but there are many variations]
Y:  Your choice
E:  7:00 (cluster feed at 7:00 and 9:00, only if going through a growth spurt)
A:  bath
S:  7:30 bedtime

Hope this helps.  Please keep us posted with progress!

[NoonieP]

Thanks for the info. I am going to start EASY on Monday (I work 6am to 7pm on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays so those days are out). I'm hoping it won't take too long for him to get settled.

[claires mum]

Great!  Please let me know how it's going.  AND I LOVE THE PIC!!!

[NoonieP]

I've started using the sleep, eat, play schedule instead of letting him eat before naps and it's working already. He has since been really good with sleeping at night. Not through the night yet and he wakes up about an hour after he goes down, but it's just once and now (thanks to your advice) I know that he is "using me"  littel stinker. I've started lowering the side of his crib and laying his head on my arm but leaving the rest of him down on the mattress. I lean in close and shh him. It works like a charm. I think that since I'm not picking him up and putting him down, he doesn't really wake all the way up anymore and goes back to a deeper sleep quicker.

I just needed some guidelines so I didn't feel so lost.

Thank you about the picture. That would be static electricity and it cracks me up everytime I look at it. Claire is a beautiful little girl (but I'm sure you're always hearing that). Claire is also one of my favorite names.

[claires mum]

Hey thanks for the post..great to hear you're making such good progress.  BIG pat on the back for you and a well deserved glass of wine or some such thing.  And thank you for the compliment.  Claire is almost a year old now..I can't believe it.  Seems like only yesterday I brought her home!