Hello
Big ((((hugs)))) first of all. Those early weeks with a newborn can be a bit hairy
Just wanted to offer you a few thoughts to see if we can help you out a bit.
Have you started an EASY routine with your baby? Repeating the Eat Activity Sleep cycle through out the day, I mean. At 7 weeks your baby will probably only be able to tolerate about 1 hour A time, so will likely be following a 2.5 or 3 hour EASY routine. This will also be affected by whether he is bottle or breast fed, as some bf babies can't last for 3 hours between feeds at this age.
So, ideally his awake time at this age would include feeding, changing bum, burps, cuddles and wind down ready for sleep. That's probably about all. I would aim to have him ready for sleep/sleeping by the 1 hour mark so that he doesn't get over -tired (OT). So maybe at about the 40 minute mark you would be taking him to his room for a nice, relaxing wind down and then into bed. Tracy suggests that the wind down should follow the 4 S ... to read about this
CLICK HERE That will help your LO to understand that it is sleep time and over time he will anticipate this and be relaxed for sleep.
I am not sure if you are already doing this during the day, but if not it would be a good place to start. LO's are less tired during the day and more able to deal with sleep training then than at night. Same goes for us adults! Also making sure he is not OT by bedtime will help with him going to bed at night.
I would also start to establish a good routine for bedtime to help your LO begin to understand that it is sleep time. Most people do something similar to the nap routine, but also add in a bath or massage. You will know what your LO can handle. We didn't start a bath each night until DD was about 12 weeks as she was too stimulated by it until that age.
TBH we didn't use pat/shh so 'strictly' at bedtime, and instead concentrated our efforts on nap times and she just transferred the skill as she went along. If you are using pat sh it is a good idea to remember the 40 min rule - you try for 40 mins and if LO is still crying then you have a break, give baby a feed and start again. That gives you a much needed break and gives baby a feed which he will probably need as you don't want to be an hour down the line and realise baby is hungry.
Remember that when your baby is crying it is his way of communicating with you. So he'll be saying 'what's happening, why aren't we cuddling to sleep?' And that's ok although it is heart breaking to listen to. He is crying when you put him down as he is probably tired already, doesn't know what is happening and why things are different. With time and consistency things will get better
. We always had the swaddle as part of the wind down routine, so maybe swaddle him when you have the soothing music on and the lights dim and do it this way each time. Most babies DO begin to cry when they get swaddled but most also stop this pretty quickly. Our DD did it every time for ages and then one day just seemed to stop. We weaned swaddle a few weeks back but have just had to reswaddle to get thru short naps and NW's ... the swaddle calms her right away now.
Please keep us updated on your progress and let us know if you have any questions