Dependent on me to lengthen naps - Please Help!

[sunnysmile]

My LO is 4mths 2 wks and has been waking from her naps at the usual 30/45 min mark since about 3 mths which i know is common from reading all these helpful posts. She needs no help in falling asleep - not even the paci (2 min gentle mantra then she's out).

I try to do W2S at the 25 min mark. Doesn't seem to work - she will still rouse after 30 mins then try to wake up at 40 mins. I then soothe her through the transition by gently holding her arms in the swaddle (it's looser now as she chews her hands to get to sleep) and inserting the paci. I also click on her wave sound machine very quietly.

Then she'll drift off again but wake if I lift my hands from her arms. It's like her sleep cycle stays really light (maybe cos she keeps the paci in - again, if it fell out she'd wake). This means I have to go in at the 25 min mark and stay next to her for another 1 -1.5 hrs!

I wouldn't mind this too much as it means she gets a good nap and is so happy & content when she wakes (MUCH better than the poor tired cranky babe she was on the short naps). But the problem is I have 2 other children who need attention too and this is eating up my time with them. 

How can I ease this dependency - i have tried easing off gradually but she just keeps waking up!

Please help - I am under pressure from family to let her CIO (guilt tripping me b/c I stay to help her sleep 'at the expense of her 2 brothers') but this doesn't sit well with me. I don't want to be a prop or get into AP but i feel i have and I don't know how to get out of it!

[Aly Mac]

HI Sunnysmile,

can you post your routine for us so we can see what her day is like? Also, are you swaddling her?

thanks

[marensmama]

Maybe she needs more A time?  My DD2 went through same thing at four months, I had to intervene every nap time... A bit tough with a toddler under foot.  I gave her more A time and she naps 2 hrs twice a day plus a 45 min catnap like a champ now.  If you post your routine, the experts will get you all sorted out!

BTW, kudos for following your instincts and resisting the pressure to CIO.  It only 'works' by teaching our LOs that we won't answer their calls for help, so they might as well stop trying. 

[sunnysmile]

Thanks for the encouragement. Here's a typical day...

7.00 Wake, Eat (She's bf still at this point, not started solids yet)
9.00 Nap 1.5hr (with me in the room!)
10.30 Eat
12.30 Nap 2 hr (again, me in the room)
2.30 Eat
4.45 Catnap (walk in pram or in car)
5.15 Wake, Eat
6.00 Bath
6.30 Eat
7.15 Put down to sleep and will be asleep within 10 mins or so.

She's swaddled but can get her hands to her face as she uses her fingers to get herself to sleep - I have been reswaddling her with her arms down once she has nodded off as the jolting of the arms wakes her as does her fingers round her face (though not at night it seems as she sleeps with one arm out of the swaddle). But with her arms well into the swaddle she relies on me to put the paci in when she stirs (and keep putting it in when it falls out subsequently!).

[Aly Mac]

Her A time looks about right for the average, but if she is waking at 45mins, then she could need a little more.  If she wakes at 30mins she could need less.  If you don't do wake to sleep, what amount of sleep time does she do? This will tell you what action to take.  Increase, or decrease, by about 10mins - if you increase, do this wiht quiet time first.

[ahollifield]

I have the same problem with my 3 month old. She'll fall asleep by her self and always wake up around th 40-45 minute mark. Maybe I should extend her A time? I 've watched her cues and put her down accordinly, maybe I should ignore them and try extending?

[stagemanager2]

ahollifield: my 3mo was like this too-

we would read his cues correctly but he would wake 45min in.  All we would have to do is pop the paci back in... but it was fixed with a W2S for a few days.  You might want to try that esspecially if you are reading the cues... messing with A time can really mess with the rest of the schedule.  I'd try w2s for you first then change the A time... jsut a suggestion.

sunnysmile- hugs to you.  I'm sure it's hard with 3... good lord I am having a hard time with 1 lol!

I don't have too much advice but to say remember the 30-45 rule:
30min- OT
45min- UT

This ofcourse is when they wake and won't go back down- that is what is happening, right?

[SR mummy]

Im having the same trouble with my son, bless him he wakes after 30-45 minutes, can i ask what UT and OT means?

[stagemanager2]

UT under tired
OT over tired