He won't eat.

[rinajack]

This is probably more of a rant than anything, but if there are suggestions out there, I am very very open to hearing them.

We started to wean Hugh to solids at a touch over 4mo (with the go ahead from the paed).  It went great for nearly 1 month, then his reflux flared up in a really big way, and he refused all solid food (didn't BF well for a bit either but we got that sorted out).  He still won't eat puree except for maybe a few mouthfuls here and there.  He was seeming to do OK with BLW (and I thought it would just continue to improve as he got older.

Hugh is really not eating at all and hasn't for several days now, but I think he has a slight sore throat with a cold he has, and since he is an acid refluxer that would be all it takes to put him off eating AGAIN.  My fear is that now he thinks both purees AND solid foods are evil. 

He is not far off 8mo, and has about 8BF per 24 hours, and I could be going back to work as soon as about 2-3 weeks as a project is starting that they think they want me on, but I wasn't going to return until July otherwise....I don't want to put him on formula at all, but even if I was going to he probably won't drink it because he is MSPI and would need to go on prescription formula which from all accounts tastes like crap.

I work in an extremely male dominated work place, and pumping, if I can do it at all, won't be easy or pleasant, and I am unlikely to be able to get enough for ALL the feeds that will be missed.

He does drink from a sippy cup, or an open cup (both of these require assistance) and I am considering seeing if he can drink some rice milk in my absence (not as his main source of milk obviously, of the BF Hugh currently does, I will be home for 5 of them, and can probably get breast milk for him for 1 of the missed ones with a bit of effort), and then continue wiht the BLW.

This is so frustrating, I am sick of trying to feed a child who simply doesn't want the food anymore, in fact he cries when I even put a spoon near him. 

Oh yeah, and just for information sake, I am on elimination diet, no diary, no soy.  I have been able to get away with very small amounts of dairy lately, and have always been able to have just trace soy, so am thinking about trying some soy milk on my cereal in a few days to see how he handles it...

Can I have a hug and if you have any bright ideas, throw those at me too!

[* Paula *]

Awww Rina, just wanted to send you huge hugs xxxxxx

[*Natasha*]

Rina you know i am always here for a HUG 
I really wish i had an answer for you i am hoping others will 

[Freya'sMum]

Hugs!

Rina, I really think that you would benefit from focusing on the other aspects of food and eating than nutrition, to take some of the pressure off you and Hugh, because it doesn't seem to be a pleasurable Activity for any of you at present

Try to remember that altho 8 months might seem quite 'old' in baby terms, it is only 1/120th of his lifetime (that's a tiny fraction ) so Hugh has plenty of time to get the hang of what solid food is and what to do with it and to help him you need to concentrate on him having fun with food!

So, put the spoons away, include Hugh at the dinner table at family mealtimes, pop a little something on his tray and if he ignores it, prods it, grasps it, licks it, bites it, chucks it on the floor, spits it out, swallows it, well it doesn't matter, he's playing with food, and that's what you want... and he'll watch you eating, and learn that it is a normal, sociable, pleasurable thing to do, as well as learning by copying you the techniques of how to do it!

Try not to think of it as 'feeding' Hugh, you feed him milk, solid food is just for fun !

I also think you are stressed about the returning to work issue, not just about the logistics of the feeds, but probably also all the associated return to work stuff! 8 bf seems a lot, is it little and often because of his reflux? It might be possible to adjust his milk/EASY routine to reduce the number of milk feeds he has, and therefore take some of the pressure off you having to produce so much EBM there is also the possibility that the frequency of milk feeds is interfering with his interest in sampling the solid foods...

...I'm not contradicting myself, I wouldn't want his milk intake to drop at all, but I wonder whether a routine adjustment might help you both out? Could you post your current EASY for us to have a look at?

HTH a bit, will see if we can help more too ok?

Ax

[*Natasha*]

 8 bf seems a lot, is it little and often because of his reflux? It might be possible to adjust his milk/EASY routine to reduce the number of milk feeds he has, and therefore take some of the pressure off you having to produce so much EBM there is also the possibility that the frequency of milk feeds is interfering with his interest in sampling the solid foods...

Light bulb moment this could play a big part in him not eating solids

[Aly Mac]

Hugs to you Rina.  I think Alison's approach sounds great.  Just to get back to you all enjoying meal time.  I know though that the pressure of work is looming,and that is probably where the pressure of him eating better is coming from.

As for reducing his bf - no experiecne there so wouldn't advocate doing that one way or another.  though does kind of make sense.

Lilly seems to want to joing this conversations, so much go. bbl.

[rinajack]

We haven't offered puree for a good week or so now, and we have been offering finger food for ages too, it was going well until recently.

I have been giving Hugh 4 hrly milk feeds (BF) during the day, and he was waking starving approx 3 hourly during the night, hence the huge number of BF.

The day I did this post, I fed him approx 3 hrly during the day, and we only had to do 2 night feeds, but his solids eating was approximately NOTHING!

Yesterday, I decided to stil do 3 hrly during the day, and still offer finger foods whenever we eat (because he has been refusing to eat for so long I gave up trying to schedule it into his routine, so he simply eats whenever we have our meals).  Yesterday went something like this....

BF 6am, then back to sleep
Bfast 8am
BF 9am
BF 11am
Lunch 1pm
BF 2pm
Snack 4:30pm
BF 5:45pm
BF 8:30pm

And then we had a miracle night with just one night feed, at 3am. He ate solids really really really well yesterday.


I wonder if he was refusing solid food (finger food that is) because he was TOO hungry to be patient with it?

Oh, and just to clarify, although I was offering purree, if I put the spoon near him and he refused or cried, then I just took it away, I did not pressure him to eat it. And I did my very best not to get frustrated and to just remind myself he will eat when he is ready.....but it gets to me every once in a while iykwim.

At least I know now that he doesn't think finger foods are as bad as purees, which I was concerned about!

[Aly Mac]

Rina I remember L would do that.  If she was too hungry, she would just get frustrated with not being able to put it in her mouth quick enough and sometimes get upset.

It sounds like things are better.  Do you think it's all linked to the reflux? (of which I know nothing about!).  He'll get there in his own sweet time

[rinajack]

Yes Aly, I am sure it is all linked to the reflux...so sad for him.

[*Natasha*]

 

[Freya'sMum]

Glad it's all settled and that you are feeling better!

Ax

[* Paula *]

Hugs Rina,

I am pleased that you had a better day yesterday