28 month old can't seem to wind down

[knackered]

Hi folks - until recently my 28 month old DS has been pretty good at independent sleep. He's always been an early riser but since BWing him at 6 months we've rarely had problems with him going to sleep both for naps and night time...until recently that is! He's been fighting his nap for a while now and this has now spread to his bed time. It's like he can't relax enough to let himself go to sleep. He'll kick the wall, call us, pretend cry and he can go on like that for a long time. He'll only settle if either me or his dad stay with him and kind of force him to calm down - by that I mean stroking his head etc. I'm concerned that if we continue with this he'll forget how to self soothe. Tonight I calmed him til he was almost asleep then left and that worked. He's a spirited toddler and talks like a 3 year old, plus he's got a 3 month old baby brother to add in to the mix!

Just wondered if this is common for this age group.

TIA
Anna x

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

We had a blip around that age too, but also had a younger sib come into the mix, as you did.  I suspect some of it is reaction to the new baby brother and all the attention.  You could try continuing what you've been doing and gradually wean away from staying with him (less and less time..).  Does he have a lovey and have you changed any of the routine before bed?  Definitely get a plan and stick to it so he knows he can't stretch it too much...

[M and N's Mom]

My DS is just slightly younger at 26.5mo and he takes a LONG time to wind down now too, especially at night (1h+).  We have not stayed with him as I really don't want to get into that habit.  We do wi/wo if necessary and sometimes if he is calling but doesn't really need anything I talk to him through his closed door.  That way I am not ignoring him, but I am also not becoming a prop.

Maybe it is an age thing...

[knackered]

So along with the difficulty with wind down, we're now having very EW and some NW too. At this point I'm not sure if he's OT , UT, or just kicking up because of the baby. He does have a lovey and the only change at bed time is that he knows that I'm feeding the baby while Dad tries to get him ready for bed.

At the moment he's waking at 6 ish, sometimes a bit before and sometimes a bit after. Last night he also woke at 4.50am and had to be settled back to sleep. I'm putting him down for his nap at 1ish and it usually takes him a good half an hour to get to sleep. I know that seems a long time from his morning wake time but I really don't think I'd have any luck getting him to sleep earlier than that. I wake him up after an hour and a half and he's happy when he wakes most days. Then I aim to get him in to bed no later than 7.30 and again it'll take him a while to get to sleep.

Any thoughts on the above? Should I let him sleep for longer at nap time? Should I try and get him to take an earlier nap?

Any advice gratefully received.

TIA
Anna x

[M and N's Mom]

I'm definitely no expert, but I would guess that 7h before the nap and 4.5h after might be a bit unbalanced.  Could you try 6-6.5h before and 5ish after?  Just a thought.

[knackered]

Hey Sari - you are so right! I don't know why I haven't realised -it's staring me in the face - he's overtired when he's going down for a nap! He woke at 6.30 this morning and I put him in his bed at 12 - thinking I'd have at least half an hour of wingeing and fake crying - but he was asleep by 12.15 with not a peep out of him!! Not sure how long I'll leave him though - will wake him I think at 2.15.

Thanks for pointing out the obvious!!

Anna x

[M and N's Mom]

Glad he went to sleep at nap so quickly!  Here's hoping for a great afternoon for you.

Now...my DS just woke up from his nap because of the dog barking 

[knackered]

Grr - I hate that! We sometimes have a similar issue. My DS went to sleep really easily last night and slept til 6.45 which is abouot an hour later than we have been getting!!

So thanks again!

Anna x

[M and N's Mom]

Here's to another great sleep day for your DS