When Mom misses the sleep window

[Tamar A]

I began to work on getting my 8-week old on EASY last week; we seemed to be doing very well and we were both happy. This week things aren't working very well, and I have some questions.
1) If he naps within half an hour of finishing eating, but wakes up with more than an hour until he should eat next (he's on a 3-hour easy), do I hold him off? TBWSAYP says they wake when they're hungry, but he shouldn't be, and usually doens't act hungry.
2) When describing the shush-pat method, it says that if the baby won't settle, pick him up and shush-pat him until he settles down, then put him in the crib and continue, but if he cries again, pick him up again. How is this different than pick-up/put-down? I did this for over an hour and a half yesterday. My baby was clearly exhausted but had more than crossed the point of no return.
3) If I miss the sleep window and he won't sleep, how can I break the cycle of getting more tired/not sleeping/getting more worked up/not sleeping? He had a big weekend and it threw off his sleep pattern to the point where yesterday he couldn't go to sleep at all; he only napped about 50 minutes all day and we were both hysterical by dinnertime. In such a case is it ok to rock him to sleep just to break the cycle? We're not doing too well today either.
4) I think I might be reading his cues wrong for sleepy or bored. What should I be looking for?

[claires mum]

Hi there.  Lets see if I can help:

1)  Yes you can hold him off providing he's not screaming at you for food!  A little distraction is useful to extend A time until E time.  The idea is that you are guiding his day and establishing a body clock that will require food every 3 hours.  As with all things, you need to be flexible and understand his hungry cues.

2)  PU/PD is usually recommended for an older baby as it requires you to put down and then not intervene unless they start crying again.  Pat/shh is gentler in that you continue to comfort.

3)  Yes a little AP is OK providing you don't do it for too long as it can create a bad habit in less than 3 days.  If you have short naps/no naps, then you need to keep the next A time shorter.  Follow the tired cues as much as you can (hard at this age I know) and if he's showing tired signs then put him down for a nap.  Forget the clock.  When they are this OT it can become a real monster, so you need to basically fill up his sleep tank before you even try to get back onto a more established routine.

4)  Sleepy cues are different for all babies.  At this age if they look away from you, that can be the cue as they are too tired to concentrate on your face.  Staring into space, yawning, rubbing eyes, becoming grizzly and unsettled are other cues.

[claires mum]

Here's a link to the pat/shh FAQ sheet.

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=121330.0

[Tamar A]

My question about shh-pat is really this: it makes my little boy hysterical, because he knows he'll be put in his crib soon. In the baby whisperer, it says if he's not settling, pick him up and do shh-pat while holding him and when he settles put him back in the crib. Well, I wound up picking him up and putting him back down somewhere in the neighborhood of 10-15 times before I realized it had turned into PU/PD on accident. How do I keep this from happening?

[claires mum]

Ok...that would be too stimulating for a such a young baby.  When you do shh/pat..do you keep him horizontal rather than vertical (ie over your shoulder).  The latter is a problem as they wake up when you take them from an inclined to a horizontal position.

Can you post your routine for me?  I'm wondering if your LO is OT when you put him down and that's why you need to do shh/pat in the first place. 

Have you read Tracy's sleep interview.  It gives you a good description of what to do for very young bubs.

[Tamar A]

haha. my routine is shot to pieces, as his naps have gone completely out the window. I took the baby quiz and found out that my LO is primarily a touchy type, albeit cheerful and friendly (when he's rested!). So I tried not actually patting, just gentle, firm pressure instead, and it made a HUGE difference. He still is a lousy napper, but the shh-pat, which is now more of a shh-press, calms him much better. I'm trying really hard not to let him get OT, I'm doing a little bit of clock-watching as well as baby-watching until I get better at reading his cues, and I've been starting his wind-down routine after he's been up for about 50-55 minutes. In that respect I think I"m ok, because by the last verse of the lullabye, his eyelids are starting to droop. He just doens't want to sleep.

[claires mum]

It sounds like you're doing everything right.  Shh/pat often needs to be varied for each baby..some like a little less intervention, some like a little more.  Well done for figuring out what he likes.  I also like the idea of following his cues but keeping an eye on the clock to make sure that he doesn't go beyond his maximum A times..which will cause OT to build up.  If he's having short naps just make sure that he gets LOTS of short naps during the day that add up to a reasonable amount of daytime sleep.