Cries Through Our Entire Naptime... HELP!

[B-DayMommy]

This is my very first post and I need some big time help... My 6 week old son is conditioning himself to be a poor napper.  IF he goes down smoothly, he'll wake up 15 - 30 minutes later.  Worse yet, at least once a day I PU/PD through his ENTIRE naptime and he gets no sleep.  I've checked everything (diaper, if he's hungry, etc.) and he just wants me to hold him.  I don't know how this happened since I have been on the BW plan since day one and always tried to put him down when he's awake but sleepy. 

Specifically, my questions are:

- How do I break this resistance to daytime sleeping?
- What should I do if he cries through an entire (1 - 1.5 hour) naptime?  Do I feed him on his regular schedule and then put him down right away so he can get in a good nap?
- PU/PD doesn't seem to work for us... it just gets him more frantic and he never calms down... Should I let him just cry it out?

Any advice would be so helpful!

[Purplecattypants]

Hi there 

I am sorry you're having trouble. PU/PD isnt recommended until 4 months, as younger babies find it too stimulating. Could you post your routine please in terms of E,A & S?

I am going to move this to naps, and modify the title to take out the pu/pd part, as I said lo is too young for this 

[B-DayMommy]

Thank you for clarifying!  I've read BW at least 10 times and didn't understand PU/PD was for 4 + months.  My husband and I are pulling our hair out.  Today Grant's missed 6 hours worth of naps... He's so tired, it breaks my heart.  I'm a very organized, in control person and I feel today like I'm on the verge of a breakdown.

Our routine is as follows:

6 AM - Feed & awake time (including diaper change)
Between 6:45 7:15 AM - Wind down (20 minutes) and nap (hopefully... though he only sleeps for 30 mins. in the early AM)
9 AM - Feed & awake time
Between 9:45 - 10:15 - Wind down and nap... He sleeps longer through this nap as he's usually in the car or stroller while I run errands
12 PM - Feed & awake time
Between 12:45 - 1:15 PM - Wind down and nap... If he takes a nap, this is usually the long one... He'll sleep at least 1 hour and hopefully until 3
3 PM - Feed and awake time
Between 3:45 - 4:15 - Wind down and nap... He usually only sleeps 30 mins here
6 PM - Feed and awake time
Between 6:45 - 7:15 - Wind down... IF he is sleeping well, I will usually let him sleep until 10 - 10:30 PM, where I will then give him a dream feed... If he isn't sleeping well, he'll eat again at 9... I try to give him a dream feed at 11, if I can stay awake that long
Between 12:30 - 2 AM... Wakes on his own to eat, diaper change, right to bed
5:30 - 6 AM... Wakes on his own to start the day

About every other day, he'll wake up between 3:45 - 4:30 AM, but he's satisfied with a binky.

When he does wake during naptime or has difficulty falling asleep, what should I do?  Let him cry?  Comfort him?  It seems he can hold out for longer than I can... Like I said in my earlier post, he is calm in my arms and cries as soon as I start leaning towards the crib. 

This is perplexing because two weeks ago he was a GREAT napper... The tide turned when I tried to introduce formula in 1 oz increments during the 12 PM feeding for two days.  All of the sudden he was very fussy and stopped sleeping through his nap... I think it was gas that kept waking him up.  After two days, I stopped the formula and didn't reintroduce it again until yesterday... He had 3 oz of formula yesterday and got very sick (throwing up everything in his stomach, very lethargic, but no temp).  The doctor believes he has a lactose intolerance, so of course I've discontinued introducing any formula.  Grant's gaining weight and otherwise very heathy ( 6 lbs 6 oz at birth, 8 lbs 10 oz at 5 weeks and 5 days old).

[B-DayMommy]

I forgot to mention that he is always swaddled when he goes down for naps and for the night...

[Purplecattypants]

Ok, firstly his A times are a little long for his age...around this age most are on 45 mins to 1 hr max. I would try shortening, starting the wind down earlier as I think he's OT (overtired). That 30 min nap in the morning indicates OT, as does fighting bedtime.

In general, 30min naps= OT, 45 mins or over but less than 1.5 hours = UT (undertired).

Have you tried shush/pat? This is the tool to use at this age to help him sleep. Please do NOT let him cry....here at BW we do not advocate this as it breaks the bonds of trust between parent and child. Shush/pat should be used to help comfort baby, and later on can be used to help him learn independant sleep.

What were your reasons for introducing formula btw? It does sound like he has a sensitivity to it so you're right to stop. Around 6 weeks is when they can have a growth spurt, same again around 8 weeks, 3 months, 4 months and 6 months...but they can happen at pretty much anytime really. So obviosuly feed him if he's giving hunger cues.

HTH x

[B-DayMommy]

Today's been really tough... He hasn't slept except for an hour while I was running errands in the car.  You mention my routine above and that you think he's getting too much awake time, but I literally feed and change him and start the wind down routine.  Based on that, I don't know how much more I can cut back on awake time.

I tried shh/pat and nothing... I did it for 45 minutes and his eyes didn't even close.  He just has a tired, fixed gaze the whole time.  At this point, I'm supposed to feed him again in an hour and 45 minutes, but likely he'll stay up this whole time.

Now I'm also started to worry about his feeding... After 10 - 15 minutes on a breast he gets incredibly frustrated and starts to scream a high-pitched wail.  After feeding he's fussy instead of content, as he used to be a few weeks ago.  My thought is that's just the OT being compounded each time he misses a nap.

As for trying formula... I go back to work in 4 weeks.  My job is stressful and demanding... planning to have 30 minutes to myself twice a day to pump isn't realistic, especially considering my work hours will be shorter dropping off and picking up from daycare.

Any words of encouragement are appreciated!

[deckchariot]

have you talked to your ped about reflux?  The feeding issues could be OT or they could be a medical issue.

Also, he is really, really young to have sleeping sorted out.  Babies brains sort out day and night sleep differently - the part of the brain that organizes night sleep develops first (0-3 mos) and the day sleep later (3-6 mos), so napping issues are super, super common at his age.

That said, you can help him learn to sleep independently - and shh/pat is a great tool for that.  If he feeds 10-15 min on each breast, then I'd start your winddown right after that.  You can do a diaper change as the first part of the wind down.

Here's a couple of links on wind downs and shh/pat that may be helpful:

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=85500.0

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64275.0

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64277.0

shh/pat really does work, but it does take time.  When we were sleeping training my dd, sometimes I would spend the entire nap time doing shh/pat.  Then someone suggested to me to just do 40 min, then take a 10 min break, and if she showed signs of being hungry, feed her and start the next EAS cycle all over.  If she didn't seem hungry, take a 10  min break (quiet, low key cuddling etc.) and back to shh/pat.  Consistency is the key, the more you do it, the more quickly your lo will learn.  Hang in there!!!

hth
michelle

[B-DayMommy]

Thank you for the advice and resources!  Today was a much better day... I have my happy little boy back!  I can't believe I didn't realize this, but he was hungry and not getting enough during each feeding.  After a particularly rough day and nursing session last night, I bought some soy based formula to introduce to him this morning at the 9 AM feeding... OMG... he was so happy and content after that feeding!  He gave me a few yawns, I put him down in his crib and he gurgled himself to sleep just as he has from the day we brought him home.  The next feed, once he became frustrated with both breasts, I offered him an additional 2 oz of formula and the same thing... Happy, contented Grant smiled all the way to his crib.  Maybe it's a fluke or maybe my mother's intuition was finally right... Either way, DH and I even managed to shower, clean the house, go to the grocery store and spend alone time together.  Thank goodness!

[deckchariot]

hooray for a wonderful day!!!!  I hope that continues!  Do check with your ped for sure then about a milk allergy or reflux, since the soy formula seemed to really make a difference!