Don't know how to go about weaning 13 month old...I'm a chicken!

[ElsMom]

I planned to nurse my DD for a year, and now she's 13 months. I'm still enjoying the bonding time, but I also think we'd like to start TTC in 6 months or so, and I'd like a few months "off" in between. So I'd like to start working towards weaning now, but I'm scared of messing up the good thing we've got going (good naps, STTN).  I really hoped it would be her idea, and at 9 months it seemed like she was quitting. But we seemed to hit on 3 times a day that work for her, and we've been doing the same routine since then. Here's her routine right now -

7:00 am - BF - 1 side
8:15 breakfast
9:30-10:45 ish - S
12:30 lunch
2:15 BF - sometimes falls asleep, sometimes not
2:30 - 4:00  - S
5:30 dinner
7:00 BF - rarely falls asleep, but this is helpful for calming down
7:15/7:30 - down for night

I'm kind of at a loss for where to add snacks, and which to drop first - the morning or the afternoon.  I know the bedtime will be the last to go, and it's fine with me if that one hangs on for a little while.  I've considered moving lunch to 11:30, adding a snack at 1:30, then moving BF up to right after that snack and not doing it in her room... but reading some of the threads on the BF board made me think the morning might be better to drop first - and just move breakfast to 7:30?  Add a snack then at 9:00??  That's where I get all confused.

Thanks so much!!!

[NoelleChristine]

Hi ElsMom,

I'd say that you could really start with either feed.  There's no real science to it it's more preference really.  What's going to work best for you and your schedule and how "attached" your lo is to a particular feed.

You do have to rotate snacks and meals around a bit at first but you'll find that you kind of get into a rhythm and things sort out.  I found the first feed was the hardest to drop ONLY because I'd gotten so used to our routine and sometimes it's just easier to stick with things the way they are than to change them up. 

Your initial thoughts about moving lunch up, even though I'd say the BF before nap would be considered a snack in my book, sound good.  As well as having the morning BF the first to go.  My lo always BF after waking so for us I'd just offer a sippy of milk to replace the BF.  Haven't gotten rid of the bedtime feed yet.

HTH's a little.

[lumlumsmom]

Hope you don't mind if I keep in on this thread as I would like to wean my 13 month old at this time as well.  You bring up some points I've been wondering about.  I would like to add a question or two:  Once you drop a feed, when and how do you add whole milk?  How much whole milk would you offer if your still offering other bf sessions?  Finally, what about the "don't offer, don't refuse" method - How does it work and how would you build in whole milk with that?

[NoelleChristine]

I give G whole milk in a small sippy, about 4 oz.  He would only drink about an oz or 2.  Even now he won't down the whole 4 oz at one time.  When I started weaning I replaced it with the sippy of milk and for the other feeds I'd just bf like normal, not offering the sippy at that time.  Since we've weaned all daytime feeds he gets a cup of milk at every waking now (morning and after nap.)

We didn't fully do the don't offer, don't refuse method but it has taken us a bit longer to wean because I had bf when I felt like he really wanted that feed.  I would offer his milk in the sippy like usual and he would be ok but then an hour later maybe he'd pull at my shirt, or turn into me like he wanted to nurse.  I would let him nurse.  Usually the next day he wouldn't do it, then maybe the next he would until eventually he stopped requesting.  I basically thought of it as a snack.  Hopefully that makes a little bit of sense. 

There have been some times now where he's pulled at my shirt but he's easy to distract from it so I don't nurse upon request now.  It's happened maybe one time this week.  We just did our last bedtime nursing last night but if he's "requesting" for this next week or so I'll probably nurse him and do this one gradually too.

[NoelleChristine]

Just looked at the cup and it's actually a 6 oz cup.  So he'll drink anywhere from 2 oz to 4 oz usually at a time.  Less when we first started and more now that it's been about 6 weeks when we started weaning feeds.

[ElsMom]

We actually started whole milk at around 10 months because she started refusing her normal daytime BFs. I thought she was going to wean herself early, and the doc said to go ahead and give her cow's milk- she never wanted ebm in a bottle or cup, so we just went straight to whole milk.  It took about 2 months or more for her to drink more than a sip or two at a time.  I found for her that it worked best to act like it was unrelated to BFing - I offered it cold with her meals in place of water, and water during the rest of the day.  She seemed to take to that more than warm at BF times.  Just in the past couple of weeks, she's started drinking a full cup (probably about 6 oz) during the day - I fill it up at breakfast and put it in the fridge between meals, and she usually drinks the whole thing by the end of dinner, sometimes even a bit more. 

We've thrown a glitch in things and are going on vacation for a couple of days, so I'm not going to worry about dropping a feed until we're back.  She sleeps so terribly away from home, I'm going to BF / AP if I have to.  After we get back and settled, I think I'll drop the first AM feed and see where we go from there.

[NoelleChristine]

Yeah, I'll do that too...put the sippy in the fridge after meals and then back out.  Just recently I've found that I actually have to refill once before dinner and again for his bedtime milk.  So, that's just to say that I do think they'll gradually increase the cows milk as the BF's drop.  I never offered it warm either.

Yes, definitely want to wait until after vacation before you start dropping feeds.  For her sake AND yours.