Being hold hostage by my 13 month old

[alexast]

Hello

My baby girl is 13 month old and has been an angel baby from birth. We never had any sleep problems and we usually just put her to bed at 20:00 o'clock and went out of the room while she was still awake and she went to sleep. Her bed is in our bedroom and she is using a pacifier and as a little teddy.

Recently there have been a lot of changes in her life. Both my husband and me are working again (8:00 - 15:00) and she went from being with us all day to staying with my parents for 2 weeks and now with my husbands parent for 3 weeks until she goes to a nanny.

Unfortunately bedtime is a bit of a struggle since than. We do the usual bedtime routine: get the pyjama on - some milk - read a book - put her to bed and sing a lullaby. She closes her eyes and goes to sleep.... - but as soon as I move out of the room her eyes pop open, she gets up in her bed and screams. I usually go back to her but her down gently, tell her that is time to sleep and sit beside her bed until she seems to be asleep again. It usually takes about 15 -20 minutes and I try not to do anything else than put my hand on her back. When I try to go out of the rooms her eyes pop open again ..... Most of the times I end up going to sleep as well.

Is there anything else I can do? Am I doing the right thing and how can I teach her again to fall asleep on her own without us watching over her?

Her routine looks like this:
07:45 wake up breakfast
09:00 nap
09:40 wake up - eats something
12:00 lunch
13:30 nap
14:30/15:00 wake up - eats something
17:00 eating
18:30 dinner
19:30 bedtime ritual
20:00 bed


I have tried to have only one nap but she is just too tired in the morning.
I would be thankfull for some advice, so that I don't have to go to bed every night at 20:00 o'clock ;-)

[coopers_mommy]

In my experience with my soon to be 15 month old who is all of the sudden having trouble sleeping as well, I have had to extend his A time A LOT and it is a huge adjustment. 

It looks like from your schedule that she is only up for an hour and a half in the morning before she goes down for a nap?  I think you should try extending out that A time.  This would adjust the day as far as A times go in between both naps.  In the afternoon after her second nap you have her up for 5 hours!  That's a big amount of A time compared to the morning.  So, I would try maybe going for 3 hours of A time at first and then continue working till you can get 4 hours of A time.  We have had t begin doing this with DS as he is beginning to get ready for the 2-1 nap transition.  I think extending the A time really helps prepare them for that!

Also as far as her waking as soon as you walk out of the room....I would suggest WIWO.  If you're not too familiar with WIWO (as it took DH and I some time to get it down), go in to reassure her that you are still there but reinforce that it is bed time.  Then walk out when she calms down (we don't touch DS either as it seems to work him up too much).  I have a post on this thread (Sarah/Anyone PLEASE HELP!) with some good advice that was given to me with WIWO.  If you continue staying in the room till she's asleep, she wont learn how to fully put herself tosleep without you.

One more point, have you thought about moving her to her own room?  This might help with her going to sleep with little distractions

HTH

[alexast]

Thanks for the advice.
I tried extending A time over the weekend (kept her awake 07:30 - 10:00 and 10:30 the next day) and used WIWO to get her to bed at night and after only 30 minutes she was fast asleep. Until than it has been going better and better.
Unfortunatelly we had a setback yesterday. She woke up 22:00 o'clock in the night and wouldn't go back to sleep until we went to bed. Now she is not going to sleep again. We have been doing WIWO for 1hour now and she is still awake. I have a couple of questions concerning WIWO. My girl starts crying the moment I move away from her bed. Do I still walk out of the room or do turn around immidiately. How long do you wait before going in again. And how much do I comfort her before going out again.
Next weekend we will make her own room ready. Maybe it is really just time to move her over ;-)

[coopers_mommy]

Truely it depends on your kiddo!  With us, we continued the walk out even if DS started crying right away.  He just can't handle us being in there, he'll never go to sleep.  So we walk out wait a minute the first time and continue adding minutes.  If the cry is more than a mantra cry or just a PO'ed cry then we go in sooner.  As the time lingers with us being out of the room he normally calms down.  WIWO might take a while for a few nights, but it's well worth it if PD won't work!.  Comforting is up to you also.  Go with cues from your LO. With DS we lay him down (or point to the mattress and he lays down) and sometimes day it's time to go to sleep.  Sometimes we don't, sometimes we put our hand on his back for a minute.  It really depends on the circumstance.  DS is spirited so we can't do much or it will stimulate him! 

Let me know how it goes!

[alexast]

I have been sick last week and did not have the energy to keep on with WIWO. Nevertheless since Wednesday I am feeling better and we finally finished her own room. Since Friday she is sleeping in her own room and my husband and I were very persistent to let her go to sleep alone, without sitting beside her bed. It has been a rough couple of days but it finally paid off. Today I put her down for a nap and walked out of the room.... and she just went to sleep on her own. 
Thanks a lot for you help and support.