Need to start again - it's not EASY and I am at wits end now

[leycourt]

I am in a complete muddle - have posted separately about NWs and Naps earlier but have got my book out and realised EASY has gone up the spout. The problem is outlined at the bottom - other sections are optional!!!!


Background
My DD is 11 weeks old on Friday (6 prem) - so corrected age of about 4.5 weeks. She is about 9lbs so about the size of a 4.5 week old baby but developmentally closer to an 11 week old - she smiles, goos gass, rolls over sometimes back to front and viceversa, easily rolls on and off side, holds head a fair bit.
I describe that as I am not sure whether she should be treated as a 4.5 weeker or an 11 weeker - there is a big difference!!!!! I thought I should just read her cues which I have tried to do - was working now failed.

Reflux
She has reflux - which is sort of under control with meds. We are going for a review tomorrow and they may adjust the doseage - BUT none are that weight sensitive. Most days it's ok. Somedays worse - but that tends to be a patch - so say affects that time of day -eg one EASY cycle, half the night or something. (we also do all the other stuff - am regular on reflux board).

OK - her schedule WAS (past tense) - allowing 30 mins leeway

9am Start day EAT BF one side (I express other)
A time
10:20 ish (follow her cues) sleep*

12 eat bf - both sides one 20 mons othe top up
A time - if we need to go out could be now or next cycle
1:15 sleep

3pm eat (she's hungry before this) feed both sides bottle top up formula & i express
A time - generaaly at home this time not always
4 ish tireder now sleep

5.30 eat (toddler home 6)
A
sleep - tough here

6.30 - 9 pm - catnaps on mum/dad in carseat if out, feed on and off.
7.30-8pm Bottle formula - I express
9pm bath
9.15 top up and bed

12:30 -1am df ebm

5am feed

* 1st a time varibale some days she's yawning at 45 mins some at 1hr15

likewise in cycles 2 and 3 - if we go out and she gets a bad nap then the next one tends to be better.

other points:
ds - aged 2, goes to nursery ft mon, tues & Thurs - & weds pm & fri am meaning I have to pick up from nursery 6pm Mon, Tue, Weds Thurs and Fri at 1pm
I also take to nursery weds at 1pm. I can't always work on things beacuse he's around and has his own issues. Therefore I always aim for one nap in crib a day and have the time for that. On three days I can do whole day and weekends - 2 cycles are mine!

We also have drs appoinments at least once a week - tomorrow its 2:40. In these cases I write off the cycle and try to make the next one work.
In other cases eg shopping - talking ds out for walk, I make sure these start in her A-time and she can nap in pram.

NOW - the big issue (s)
DD has been getting up at night in the past from 5am -7am for that feed. Ocassionally I have had to resettle (always try once pre 5am).
1)She now gets up earl;ier - 3-4am won't resettle for more than 1/2 hour and then I feed her.
2)Naps have also gone wrong - she falls asleep - sometimes with paci. Wakes up anything from 30 mins to 1 hour later grotty. There is no set 30 min or 45 min nap thing. Just not the length we had before and max 1hr (used to be 1.5-2 and I always used to wake her up for next feed)

I think I need to rethink EASY - A times are clearly key as I am sure I have got it wrong inthe past - OT normally and have managed to get by - next cycle seems to correct.
I need to know what A-time to aim for - she sometimes doesn't yawn until 1.5-2 hrs - clearly that's too much for her , sometimes she yawns after the feed so 30 mins - clearly too little - she always wakes early after that one.
As I said not sure whether to treat her as 4.5 week old or 11 week old.

She's moving out of the moses basket today so I might as well start again. She keeps rolling into the side and gets no aircirculation when she's face down with her head pressed against the side (it;s a thick fleece fabric).

Quick ADD - I am mixed feeding. I do like breastfeeding and don't want to give it up but feeds take up to an hour andI am expressing to keep up supply - in am - for EBM DF, at 3 pm beacuse I have no more milk for baby and likewise 8pm - ie when I have to give formula I express. It's exhausting

[melissas61]

God...reading your post reminds me of the exact same problems I am having with my 10 weeks old...she has reflux to and was 3 weeks early. I don't have any advice but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I hope someone responds quick!

[leycourt]

She is really hard to get down now - we had no problems before - we swaddle, have white noise and shhpatt. It takes 10-15 mins now (used to be 5 after weeks of work). I think it may be developmental - she is so much more aware of the world this week.
She also seems to be waking herself up as she wants to move position as she is uncomfortbale - so I do wonder about the swaddle (we use miracle blanket). She also has a blocked up nose.
In the past she has resettled herself - but she seems to wake herself up grunting and thrashing about - I am not sure if this is reflex or her trying to roll

[melissas61]

I know what you mean...reflux is such a pain-for her and me. Sometimes she will seem fine and then she goes days without naping on her own. I have given up on the sushpatt---I'm still doing EASY but putting her down differently. I swaddle her and still sush her but I hold her and rock her in the nursing chair. I know it is accidental parenting but she sleeps better/more. She still wakes up inbetween sleep cycles and I have to go back to get her down again but it's better than never getting her down until she has exhausted herself crying. Which is what she was doing with the shush pat method. I may try it again later but for right now I'm doing what works.

Here's to hoping it does work for you.

[leycourt]

Thank you so much for replying. I am glad I am not the only one. As you say sometimes things seem ok - then you seem to have troublesome patches where you have to do what works even if it is accidental parenting! They do say that before 3 months things are fairly hit and miss anyway. I am working that to be 3 months corrected age - in my LOs case 13 weeks would be when she's 19 weeks old but I am going for 4 months - about 16 weeks !

[melissas61]

Sounds like a great plan...keep us up to date on your progress...good luck!