Please help with 12 month old 2-1 switch! Nothing is working!!!!!!!!!!

[JulieNG]

Hello,

I'm at my wits end with both my kids b/c I've got a 2.5 yr old that went from an excellent sleeper to refusing naps and a 12 month old that is OT and can't get into a routine with this 2-1 switch thing.

About a month ago he started this so I've been doing some days as 2 nap days and some days as 1 nap. He can go like 2-3 days with one nap and then needs an am nap, which is fine, but then that only works for a few days and then it's back to one.

It's all changing so much so yesterday went like this:

Woke at 5:45 screaming (usually doesn't do this) not sure if OT or what. Back to bed till 7:30

10:00 fussy as heck so I put him to bed as I do each morning and he is quiet for 20 minutes and then starts to fuss. Usually I think he is sleeping, but I'm never sure cause he wakes after 20 minutes. Then back to crib at 12:40-3. That was a great nap.

Bed at 7

Today woke at 7

Tried for nap at 10, no luck. I wasn't home, my husband was.

Tried for nap at 12, I think he was overtired b/c he screamed when I put him down. Got him up for a bit more and he fell asleep at 12:45-1:20. Obviously not enough, woke up screaming. Fell back asleep from 3-4 on a walk out of desperation. Bed 7:30.

I don't even know what to do for tomorrow!!!!!!!! I hate this. The thing is...he is fussy before 3 hours of A time in the AM. Should I try for an earlier nap? Should I try for am nap around 3.5 hrs of A time? Should I try to delay the 10am nap by 15 minutes for 3 days??

[deckchariot]

When my dd was going through the switch, she often went back and forth between 1 nap and 2 nap days - made it hard to know what to expect on any given day!  I would say by 12 mos though your bub should be able to handle 3.5 hrs easily, so if he's fussy before 3 hrs of A time - it might be something other than tired.  I would definitely try to push out that morning A time - do the 15 min every 3 days and see how that goes.  Is he walking?  teething?  those things can cause fussiness and nap issues too.

hth
michelle

[JulieNG]

Thanks. He is walking, but I don't see anything going on in his mouth. How long did you LO go back and forth with 2-1? I feel like it's been so long already and I'm waiting for some consistency. It wasn't this hard with my DD!

[deckchariot]

If he's walking, he may just need more activity during his A time to be really ready to take a good nap.  Abby spent about 4-6 weeks going back and forth between 1 and 2 naps - it drove me nuts!  After about a month, I said "I guess it's just going to be this way for awhile" and tried to relax about it a bit.  I had a goal of not putting her down before 11:30 am (if she woke at 7:30).  I knew she needed 2.5 hrs min of day sleep, so I'd see how long her first nap was and I'd take my day from there.  If she went down at 11:30 and slept 2.5 hrs, I usually just did early bedtime rather than trying for a 2nd nap.  If she slept less than 2.5 hrs, I'd offer a catnap or early bedtime (or both sometimes).  I knew she needed to make it til 12:30 and take a 2.5 hr nap to get a 1 nap day, and eventually, she was able to do that every day.  It is hard though!!! 

[JulieNG]

Thanks for your help. I kind of feel like my son has no schedule since we are going back and forth so much. Could that be screwing him up even more? Today he woke at 7:20 and I put him down at 11:37 (he was pretty happy the entire morning). Well he cried on and off till 12:45...I got him up and took him outside and tried again at 1:30. Well then he fussed for another 45 minutes and finally I got him to sleep outiside in the storller which I never did before. He only slept 30 minutes till 3pm. Obviously he was way OT but I'm not sure what to do next. Tomorrow would you try for an am nap or try to get some consistancy in his life and stick to a pm nap? The thing is I don't even know what a reasonably time is anymore we are so messed up. Last week I tried for am at 10:00-10:30 and he would be quiet for 20 minutes and then cry. So I did a pm one day at 12:30 and that was too late cause he only slept 30 minutes, that is why I tried at 11:30 today. So confused!

[deckchariot]

I hated the switch, really....we were pretty inconsistent in terms of 1 nap vs. 2 nap days, and I don't think it made it harder.  I chatted with some other BW moms who said they found if they went too hardcore on the 1 nap days, their lo got super OT and everything fell apart, so they actually recommended going back and forth between 1 and 2 nap days.  The one bit of consistency I had was to let her sleep as long as she wanted in the am and then do a pm catnap and/or early bedtime.  There's basically 2 approaches to the switch: long am nap + pm catnap or am catnap (you wake them after 45 min) and long pm nap.  I took the first approach.  Then gradually, as her A time got longer, that am nap became her only nap. 

So I would say to pick one approach and try it for a week and see if you see some improvement.    If he didn't seem OT when you put him down at 11:30, maybe he can handle more A time, so you could stretch maybe even just 10 min, see how his first nap goes and then either wake him or let him sleep - and then that sets up the approach for the rest of the day.  Have you tried keeping a log to see about how much day and night sleep he needs?  I found knowing that really helped me to navigate whether to offer 1 or 2 naps in any given day.  It is really confusing and frustrating, but you will make it!!!

[lilmonkey]

Hi Julie,

2-1 nap transition sucks big time.  Anyway, I thought that I'll share what is currently working for us.  DS is an angel with a lot of spirit.  LOL  I did everything (shorten am/pm nap, adjust A times, cold turkey, etc) but none of the method last for long time.  Anyway, I know that ds can stay awake upto 5 hrs if given enough activity and he will take 2 naps if I offer but he would just wake early as he only needs so many hours of sleep.  A few weeks back, I discovered that if ds takes a 10 min catnap at roughly 3.5-4 hrs of A then he will take a 1.5+ hr nap at around 1/1:30 pm and bedtime is 7:30 pm wakes closer to 7 am.  So far this works for us as most of his catnap is in the car when I do my errands after dropping dd off at school.  So in a way, I have set naptimes and I only offer one nap. 

HTH

[JulieNG]

Hello all,

Well today DS woke at 7 am and slept from 12-2 which I thought was great. All except when he woke up he was terribly unhappy for almost an hour! Oh what fun. I knew he was still tired and there was nothing I could do. I would love to try 2 naps again, problem is when I would put him down after around 10 he wouldn't sleep! I've even tried am nap at 10:30 and it's hit or miss. My friend suggested that he is all mixed up and on no schedule so it's hard for him to sleep at any given time and she said to just go to one nap. What do you think? If I just keep trying for one nap will it eventually get better or will I create a monster? Thing is he was kind of a little monster on 2 naps too.

[deckchariot]

depends on your guy - if he needs that set-ness in his routine, go to the 1 nap.  If you do it for a week and he's getting worse, then go back to switching.  One mom I know would do 2 days of 1 nap, then 1 day with 2 naps because she noticed by the 2nd day, the OT  monster was beginning to arrive, so she did 2 naps the next day, and all was well.  It's really what works best for you and your bub.

[lilmonkey]

Totally agree with Michelle.  There is really no right or wrong way of doing this.  It boils down to 2 factors: how well/fast HE adjust and how well YOU cope with the potential OT during the change.  Also even if he is on one nap solidly for weeks, there may be a day or two where he needs 2 naps.

It really depends on the little bub.  I had a relatively easy time with dd getting her onto one nap but ds proved to be much harder but he is 95% there.

[JulieNG]

The last 2 days we've had early wakings. Yesterday was 6am, I gave a bottle and back to bed till 7:30. He napped from 12-2 and woke happy, bed at 7. Well he woke up at 5:25 screaming today, so I gave a bottle and back to bed till 7:30. Now today he was tired so I was gona do 2 naps so I tried at 10 and he was quiet for 20 minutes and then was screaming. He napped from 12:20-2 and woke screaming again. How long does it take for him to adjust? I really like to get back to 2 naps but I can't seem to get him to sleep in the am now. What time would you try for?

[deckchariot]

if he's waking at 7:30 (even after the EW, that's still really his wake up time, if he's gone back to sleep), 10 is really early - that's only 2.5 hrs of A time.  I'd try at 11 maybe, that's 3.5 hrs of A time.  I'd also be careful with giving a bottle for the EW, that will most likely reinforce them.  EWs are really common during the 2 to 1 switch.  It took my dd almost 6 mos to make it all through the switch.  I have no idea if that's average or not.

[lilmonkey]

We have been at this since ds was 10/11 mos.  While with dd, it took me less than a month.  There is such a range so don't feel like you are doing anything wrong.  Is there a reason why you want to keep 2 naps?  I wasn't really ready for the 2-1 switch but the EWs were killing me (5 am).  But since I have been increasing his A and reducing one of his naps, the EW slowly crept to 6 am.  Now it is closer to 7 am.  So hang in there.

If you intend on offering 2 naps, then I would try closer to 11 am as well.  It is pointless to offer a nap when he isn't tired enough.  He would just fight it and then get OT.

[JulieNG]

Hello,

deckchariot: I don't want to give a bottle for the EW, I was desperate today b/c he woke my 2.5 yr old too. I do not want to start any bad habits. What do you guys to when there is an EW? How do you get them back to sleep? 6 months to get thru, WOW, I can't imagine going thru this for that long. It only took my DD a short time too.

Mimi: It's not that I want 2 naps b/c one is more convenient b/c my 2.5 yr old sleeps some of that time. I just feel like he wasn't quite as fussy and was better rested. Although he still was cranky b/c of his teeth or I'm beginning to think that is part of his personality. We also didn't have early wakings during this time. Although he did wake at 6 which I didn't consider an EW b/c he did it for so long. Then I'd put him down at 9-9:30 that is when all this madness started and he would sleep and refuse 2nd nap. Anyways, on the days he NEEDS 2 b/c he is overtired would you let him sleep at 11-12 and then offer another nap? Deckchariot recommended 11 at 3.5 hrs of A time. We did 3.5 hrs of A time for awhile maybe I could try again. Or I could keep plugging along with this one nap thing and see what happens. Thanks for the help.

[deckchariot]

With Abby, we went back and forth between 1 nap days and 2 nap days.  Gradually, she had more 1 nap days than 2 nap days, and then she had no 2 nap days.  When we had EWs, I'd leave her in the crib as long as possible.  Most of the time, she'd play in there til what I deemed was a reasonable hour (I don't think I ever got her out before 6:30, though she did get up before then).  I never tried to get her back to sleep - I never went in, unless she was screaming, and then I just got her up and started our day.   My goal was never to put her down for a nap before 11:30 - even with an EW, because I knew that our whole day would be skewed early, and she'd be in bed by 5:30, and that was then going to be another early day.  So on 2 nap days, first nap was 11:30.  If she could make it past 11:30, then it might be a 1 nap day.  I knew she needed 2.5 hrs of day sleep at a minimum to make it.  So, nap at 11:30, up by 2  - probably not going to get a 2nd nap in, so early bedtime.  If she woke up before 2, Id offer a 2nd catnap around 4 - if she took it, I'd celebrate!  If not, then early bedtime.  If she went down later than 11:30, I used the same 2.5 hr day sleep plan to determine 1 nap vs. 2 naps.  Once I could get her to 12:30/1 for her nap, then I knew we were solidly on 1 nap days.  That was a bit of our journey....if that helps.