Suggestions Please

[paulak412]

Hi, i have a 14 month old boy who has never slept through the night.  everytime we have started him in a decent routine he gets sick (he and i are prone to chest infections and ear infections).  He does sleep in bed beside me with a dummy but i dont mind co-sleeping at all.  if he wakes up or sees me leaving the room he will cry.  he also wants bottles and water at night which i know he doesn't need the milk he is a pretty good eater.  my hv just keeps saying controlled crying which i refuse to point blank.  here is an average day, its a little flexible

7.30 am wakes up
8 am breakfast
10.30 nap 2 hrs
12.30 lunch
3.30 dinner
4 short nap
6.30 supper
7 bath
7.30 bed

i know i shouldnlt give him a dummy.

ideally i wish i could put him in his cot in his own room awake and let him sleep on his own with out a dummy.  he does have a blanket that he likes to sleep with.

where would you start i have never done any sleep training and i suffer from pnd.  there is only me nobody else. 

(edited to remove personal information)

[linfran]

I'm no expert at this but wanted to send you a big hug..

One thing I found really helpful was establishing a good bedtime routine.  It doesn't have to be fancy, in our case at that age (ds is now 2.5yo) it was bath, pyjamas, cuddle time, bed.  It helped have a quiet end to the day and also ds knew what was coming next.  The fact that you've had some success until sickness set in shows all is not lost!

I have to say, I have no great feelings for or against dummies, ds still has one but he only gets it at night and can find it himself so I'm not too worried as to whether he should or shouldn't have it...if it works, fine by me!

Could you slowly water down the night feeds?  If he's not really hungry it strikes me as habit and one thing my hv suggested to me was water down the feed a bit at a time until ds worked out it really wasn't worth waking up for.  I wasn't sure whether you put him down at night in your bed and he falls asleep or whether you have to stay with him - maybe you've tried moving a little further away from the bed every couple of nights until you're out of the room?  I haven't tried that technique so maybe someone else could phrase it a lot better than me.

Good luck, let me know how you get on, hope I haven't talked a load of nonsense at you!