New to BW... what to do about night time toilet etc....

[abi_bouw]

Hi,
Only started the BW yesterday, but have some queries. (baby is nearly 5 weeks old)
My baby wakes crying when she needs to go, she quiets down when she has but and when we change her she gets very upset. She hates being naked. (It is also a problem when it's bath time, getting ready and getting out, but she loves being in the water.) Anyway, because she is awake and upset I find it hard to settle her, and often it turns into a hungry cry, so should I feed her to calm her down, or will this continue my accedental parenting? Only she needs to be fed when she is hungry or se will not stop crying.
What do I do about getting her out into the fresh air? She only has 10 minutes at most of activity before she makes tired faces.
Does anyone else find it hard to sleep feed (I am bf).
She is quiet and calm when we put her in the basket so we don't need to do the shush-pat, right? Only she wakes up after 20-30 minutes, (which is the main problem we have had, especially at nights, which is why we started with BW), and we have to start again. which gets very tiring. We have a de-tuned radio near her cot so she gets white niose (I know it's a prop, but it's one we are happy to use) which I guess is like the shush of the shush-pat. So when it comes to her sleeping only up to 2 hours during the day is that from the last waking? (so far, she was put down at 10:40-10:50, woke up after 15 minutes but down again over 20 minutes, woke up again and was put down over 15 minutes anding at 11:40....She seems to be sleeping ok now, but should I wake her now, or in an hour.....I don't want to wake her when she is tired, but then again, I want her to sleep better at night).

[Lilachawk]

at five weeks it is very hard! at this stage you don't have to worry too much about every nap in the cot so you could take a walk at nap time and let her nap in the pram, when it comes to doing pat/shh are you doing the full 20min or stopping when she appears to be asleep? At this age you need to pat/shh them for a full 20min to get them through the jolts into deeper sleep, this takes 20min so if you are patting her until she seems to be asleep and then leaving this may be why she is waking after just 20min, at this age don't worry about patting being a prop as the most important thing is she learns that the cot is for sleeping and that she falls asleep in the cot (not in your arms etc) even though at this stage you are assisting her, independent sleep is a skill that you are teaching her not something she is born knowing how to do. As for nappy changes and waking due to filling her nappy in the night, you just need to calmly change her nappy and use pat/shh back to sleep, it won't be long until she stops going in the night, I found with my two and other mums I have spoken to about it they seem to stop pooing in the night around 8 to 10 weeks so it's a stage that will pass (like most thing lol!). If her cry turns to a hunger cry always feed, never try and settle a hungry baby it's just not fair and at 5 weeks she needs the feeds, just feed taking her off the breast when the sucking slows and swallowing stops before she is asleep and then continue with the pat/shh. Doing the dream feed with a breast fed baby can be a real challenge and I just never got my son to do it, if he was asleep he just wouldn't latch so I accepted that the dream feed was just not going to work for us and in the early months I cluster fed in the evenings and around 10/12 weeks he started going through to about 2am, we are having night feed issues ourselves right now so can't be anymore help there lol! Getting a newborn on any type of routine is really really hard work and I admit that I never really got it down with either of mine until they were over 3 months so give yourself a pat on the back, your doing a great job, hopeful someone will come along soon who has managed routine in a newborn better then I have and if I have made any errors correct me! Jen x

[EllenS]

Dream feed never worked for us (bf) either.  However, we did not discover BW until my daughter was about 12-14 weeks old.

She is still a newborn, everything is haywire.

As far as her getting upset from nighttime diaper changes, is there anything you can do to make it less disruptive?  Change closer to the crib, keep the lights off, make sure it's warm enough, etc?  Or even change IN the crib? 

Often dislike of nakedness/bath can be related to being chilly or drafty, newborns are very sensitive to cool air, it is very stimulating.  My dd would get completely overstimulated from the bathwater, even if she was warm enough - she seemed to like it at the time, but would take AGES to calm down for naptime afterward.

Hugs, the first 6 weeks are the hardest and sometimes it's a mystery what is bothering them, everything changes at 8-10 weeks and then every couple of months thereafter, so just hang in there.

[abi_bouw]

Thanks guys,
I've started to express during the day, when I feed her, so she can have a bottle for ther DF. And it appears to work.
As for putting her down, I do it for ages, this mornig for example I had to give up after 45 minutes (she didn't even get to stage three) because i needed breakfast (If I don't eat, she doesn't eat...) and she dropped off after 5 minutes on her own. And if she wakes (apart from farting/pooing) half the time she can go back down herself. or just needs my hand on her chest.
Abi