What went wrong?

[nolejen]

J usually doesn't the screaming and all until after DH has put him in the crib. Sometimes it starts immediately and other times it is after the first wi/wo.    **I did find out that DH holds J longer than I do before putting him in the crib. DH also does sh/pat or shhh with a hand on his back. J will cry and scream, turning himself around, refusing the paci. DH can't seem to settle him when J gets like this.**

Today he woke up at 6:20am. He finally fell asleep for a nap after 5 hours of A time (11:30). He only slept for 40 minutes.    He would not go back down. So we got him up and he fell asleep tonight at 6:30. What could be going on? I am afraid we are headed for another OT cycle. 


**J slept for 12 hours last night. Naps today are going to be fun. **

[coopers_mommy]

I think I would have tried an even earlier bedtime....although you got 12 hours out of him, so that's not bad! 

The first thing I notice is that you and DH need to be consistant with what you do.  So, decide what ya'll plan to do and stick to it!  The next thing I would ask is, how long do you leave DS in the crib without even starting WI/WO from the time you leave the room?  For example:  today for Cooper's nap, he was ready for bed and I knew that because he didn't want to be anywhere else but his crib (not even for story time).  So I laid him down and walked out.  He screamed for at the most a minute, but I didn't go back in there.  He was probably a little OT at that point or a little upset that I didn't try harder to read to him.  After the minute (at most) was up, he was quiet and asleep.  Maybe you need to give him a minute or two to calm down, find a comfortable position, and go to sleep.  Then after a few minutes, if that doesn't work, then begin WIWO (I would suggest without patting). 

How are today's naps looking?

[nolejen]

Today he napped for 1.5 hours after 5 hours of A time. He went right to sleep. Tonight is a different story. He went right to sleep at 8 (he absolutely refused an earlier bedtime and after 12 hours the night before and 1.5 hrs of nap, we didn't fight). He woke up at 12:45 and has been screaming his head off in hysterics. Nothing is calming him down. This is one of those nights where he is going to be up for good since that 12:45 wakeup.

I am at a loss here. I don't understand why we have 2-3 good days and then he does this. Now we are really going to be in an OT cycle.

[coopers_mommy]

It's a vicious cycle!  Don't loose hope though.  It will get better.

One suggestion I have for you is to keep constant ya'lls decision on A times between wake up and nap and then wakup and bed.  He'll adjust to it.  I think the reason he woke at 12:45 was because he was probably OT and not able to go back down easily.  It's a rough thing to know he's been up for a while at night and KNOW that he's OT the next day.  Did he go back to sleep at all? 

We've had a few nights when DS was up at 12-2 and would not go back down...after an hour of WIWO DH and I decided to get him up, see if he was hungry (his appetite around this time was shot), and then we'd do a partial night time routine and put him back down.  He'd be out of bed around 30 minutes or so.  I know it kinda goes against staying firm on WIWO but we knew that DS was hungry and sure enough he'd eat, we'd read, adn then he'd be right back to sleep!  It was a phase and we def got through it quickly. 

For today I would suggest trying for an earlier nap depending on his signs.  He will probalby be ready for an earlier nap.  Use today to catch up on sleep....not necessarily to force the schedule on him! 

HUGS!!!!  It really gets better.

[deckchariot]

it's unfortunately fairly normal during the 2 to 1 switch to have a few good days and then a pear shaped day.  It's mostly because your bub's routine fits better with 1 nap but he still needs 2 naps and trying to juggle all of that is just really tough.  Copper's mommy is right on with her advice.  You really will get there!  {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

[nolejen]

We are still hanging in there. With the holiday and then J stayed with my parents for a few days without DH and I, it sorta fell apart. He was up between 4 and 4:30 each morning and would only nap for about 1-2 hours. Even with the early bedtimes. It was a mess.

I've tried a new thing. I no longer do wi/wo. I do the night time routine and put J in his crib. I then go and sit by the door. I will go to him if he is screaming. His room is really dark, so I don't think he can see me (I can't see him from the door). This seems to get him to sleep quicker than wi/wo. I am wondering if the light difference was too much for his spirited self to handle. It is working for now, so I am going with it. I did realize another AP issue. We give/gave him teething tablets and now he will scream until he gets them. Even if he has had motrin. Any suggestions on how to stop this?

Up until the holiday, he had been absolutely refusing an am nap and then only taking an hour pm nap. Today I gave him a 15 minute am catnap and then he took a 1.75hr pm nap after 2.5 hours of A time. I am going to try this for a the next week and see if it helps. I guess I need to learn to better go with the flow and expect that what works one day may not work the next.

[coopers_mommy]

You are correct in that to just go with the flow....Michelle has to remind me that a lot in my frantic feelings too some times! 

I think today sounded like it was a success.  As for finding out what works best for getting to sleep.....WIWO worked wonders when we were first sleep training on how to go to sleep.  Now if we try it at the beginning of the night we will rarely have success (and thus cause an OT kiddo!).  So good job on finding something that works, it'll get easier.  Teething Tablets....well I have no clue on how to wean that one as DS has been taking TT (2 a night) since he was 10 months old!  There was a time that he didn't need them, and we ran out, so we just acted like we gave them to him.  He didn't ask for them anymore, but once the molars started bothering him, we re-introduced them. 

And lastly, as for the Christmas thing....just remember that it's your house, your baby, and your rules on how you parent!  We had family here for Thanksgiving and as I felt horrible that DS had his one 4hr NW in a while that first night, I couldnt' do anything about it.  We had to stick to our plan as much as we could, until my Mom said she'd rock him and I caved!  (oh well, we needed our sleep...all of us!)  Let your family know about what might happen and then they can decide if they'll be staying in a hotel or not.  We place strict rules in our house.  Because of the size and layout of the house, nap time is quiet time throughout the house or else the sound will travel thus waking DS (and making me unhappy!).  We don't close doors loudly at all and talk in a true inside voice.  We also spend a lot of time outside during naps if we want to be more noisy. 

Stay positive....it will continue to improve!

[deckchariot]

the holidays really can mess things up!  We had EWs and NWs the whole week my folks were here, and only yesterday (3 days after they left) have gotten back to normal.  Well done on finding some wi/wo version that works for you!!  The whole idea is that you comfort your bub with your voice, not by picking up/rocking etc.  and that's what you're doing!  YAY!

teething tablets - no idea on that one, Abby didn't seem to get addicted to them - and we used them liberally, but if we didn't offer them, she didn't ask for them.  sorry.

[nolejen]

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

Things are crap again. Jared is stuck in an OT cycle and I don't know where to go.

Jared's routine goes like this

6:00 wake
10:30-12:00 nap
REFUSES pm nap
6:30 bedtime (sometimes he fights this for up to 1.5 hrs)

I have tried to push back the am nap and he will only sleep for 30 min-1 hr. I've tried to make the am nap a cat nap and he will refuse the pm nap or only sleep for 30 min-1 hr. He is a cranky beast by bedtime on this current routine. He fights bedtime and still does NW and EWings. I don't know what to do. Any advice on where to go from here?

Last night he was up from 2-3, up again at 5:45 but I was able to convince him to sleep (he was quiet) until 6:45. He didnt' nap until 1:30 when he only slept for an hour. He fought bedtime at 6:30 for an hour. I just don't know what to do anymore.

[coopers_mommy]

My advice is a much earlier bedtime since he is refusing that second nap.  I would say no later than 6 and maybe even 5:45ish...I know it's early, but I don't think he would fight it that much at that point.

I feel your pain though!

[nolejen]

Jared is only an 11-11.5 hr sleeper. Would he still follow that or would he sleep longer with that early of a bedtime?

We are learning a lot of BW lessons now for some reason. One day he took too long of a catnap too late in the pm, so bedtime was miserable. He didn't catnap this afternoon so he was horrible at dinner. Jared is now down to only wanting 1 nap a day but he is stuck at 1.5hrs. That is not long enough for him. How do I make it longer?

[deckchariot]

what have you tried?  Are you still doing the 6am - 6:30 pm routine from above?  I'm guessing it's going to be difficult as long as that first nap is still at 10:30 - there's just no way to do 1 nap with the nap being that early.  With refusing the pm catnap - how many days did you try it?  Abby would refuse hers probably 50% of the time (or more) but I kept doing it, because when she did take one, it made life much easier.  The 2 to1 switch can be really confusing - because of that .  What time are you offering the pm nap if he wakes at noon?

He may not nap more than 1.5 hrs - so the trick is to try to balance the day out around the 1.5 hr nap.  Hang in there!!

[nolejen]

His nap has moved to 11:30 on most days. He will nap from 11:30-1.  THere are days he is just so tired and he is ready for a nap at 10:30.

We've tried a catnap in the am (10 min) and then a pm nap 2.5hrs later. He still is a 1.5 hr napper. I've tried w2s and sitting in his room and putting my hand on his back when he first stirs. I've done each of these for about a week. I offer the pm catnap on most days, especially if his nap ends up from 10:30-12. He will fight it for about 45 min. And then I just give up and we do an early bedtime.

I know he is OT, he is a crazy wild man (and the holidays with family don't help). After the holidays, I've got to find something that helps. Right now we are just trying to survive. And doing the best we can to get naps and early bedtimes. It is super fun here now too because the family with the "perfect" children is staying with us. And of course, they neeeeever had sleep issues.

[deckchariot]

oh dear.....{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} guests over the holidays do not help (especially given their particular issues!).  Just hang in there as best as you can for now.  It looks like 1.5 hr of napping is his sweet spot - too bad it's not at a sweet time of the day for you!  If he naps from 10:30 - 12 - when do you offer the catnap?  If he sleeps from 11:30 - 1, do you not offer it?  what time do you do bedtime then?  You may want to look at extending the A time from the nap til the catnap if he's fighting going to sleep - if the fighting is happy (is he playing in the crib?) if the fighting is unhappy (crying), then shorten that A time.  Hang in there!!!

[nolejen]

If he naps from 10:30-12, I offer the catnap around 3:30-4. If he naps at 11:30-1, I offer the catnap at 4:30-5. He is screaming when I offer the catnap. The fighting is extremely unhappy. I will try shortening the A time. Bedtime is usually 6:30.

Today he refused to nap until 1:15.