4 yr old + 5am = Depressed mum!

[Melsy]

DS#1 Aidan was awake at 5am today.  Sigh.  And 5.30am yesterday.  Sigh.  And 4.50am the day before that.  And 5.20am the day before that.  And 5.10am the day before that.  I am so over it.  I have been over it for a lllllllllllllloooooooooooonnnnggggggggg time because it has been going on forever.  Obviously this must just be who he is.     We did get one period for about 6 months or a year when he used to sleep till 6 or 6.30am.  That I can handle.  4.50am I can't handle.      #2 used to sleep till 8am for awhile.  Now I think his brother is waking him too often and we never get 8am anymore.   

I actually got up at 5.30am and took Aidan for a walk to keep him out of the house so #2 could sleep.  We got home from our walk at 7am - just as #2 was waking up so at least he got a sleep in.  And it was really lovely to be out walking - felt really healthy.  But I would gladly walk with him at 6 or 6.30am with a bit more sleep under my belt!!!!!!!!

I know I have to just suck it up and accept that this is the way its going to be (at least till he starts high school!!!) but it just is making me so cranky and angry.      I am such a b%tch to him all day long.     He asks me to play something and I say no, that I need a rest.           I would love to go to bed early to make up for the early starts but I can't for a few reasons:

1)  Got a job doing night work - haven't started yet but will a few nights a week be getting home from work at 11pm or later.

2) Dream feed - have to be up to do this for #2

3)  Lots of shows that I like to watch like Bones, House, NCIS etc.  If I go to bed and tape them, I will never get time to watch them all.

4) Would like to actually spend some time at night with DH having adult conversation after spending the day with two kids.


Sorry for the long post.  Writing about it makes me feel less angry towards DS.     Anyone else having early starts - misery loves company you know!!   

Mel

[Sylvia.]

hi hon, we were also have early mornings, i used to take her back to her room and hop into bed with her, we both mostly slept on, later when dd2 was moved into the same room i used to let dd1 hop into bed with us, just recently we added a timer to a lamp and told her morning was when that came on, seems to be working for us, we did at first set the time early and then slowly start adjusting it, if she comes out before the light  comes on i send her back and to date she does go back after a small moan

but yes misery does like company, hugs to you

[Melsy]

Thanks for the hugs Sylvia.  We have a disco ball alarm clock - worked for about a week - he would wait for the lights to come on, but doesn't work anymore.  I try to just tell him its not time to get up yet and he gets violent.     Throws books / toys at the wall, screams MUMMY or DADDY at the top of his lungs and knocks on the door REALLY HARD until someone comes.           

And because his little brother is actually an alright sleeper - I prefer to deal with only 1 child awake at that hour, not two, kwim??

Have tried him in our bed - he wriggles and squirms and kicks and is generally a pain in the b*m.     Also try to be in his bed - he wants to play and read books with me (which is ok but doesn't let either of us get anymore sleep) and I am usually so cranky that I think he can tell, and asks to go watch t.v.   

At least i have BW to keep me sane!

Mel

[Sylvia.]

i feel for you, i really do and i understand about wanting no. 2 to sleep, i was the same and did just about anything to have that happen

[GG]

Mel, both Ana (A_C) and I are bemoaning the same issue on Facebook. My dd is 2 yo and has been waking up before 6 am for the past couple of weeks. Her problem is that she's not getting enough sleep so she's overtired. Sometimes I miss her cue and get her to bed for her nap when she's overtired, so she won't nap or will after a long time and plenty of tears. She's even almost stopped napping in the car! (GRRRRR!!!!) She also doesn't get to bed early enough at night sometimes so, again, she wakes up early. DS typically requires my attention (to be fair, he's only 3.5 yo, and I can't just plop him in front of the tv every time I need him away from me) so he'll prevent her from sleeping in some way, directly or indirectly.

Q's for you...
Is your ds napping during the day? If so, how long? What time does he go to bed at night?

[Melsy]

Thanks Georgia and Sylvia

Nope he doesn't nap anymore (well...occasionally he does on a daycare day but very rare)  He is in bed, with lights out by 7pm - no later.  I know some say I should do an even earlier bedtime, but unfortunately that seems to be about the earliest we can manage with daycare somedays and DH gets home between 6 / 6.30pm and that gets him excited.  Last night he was not acting very tired at 7pm so I waited till I saw some yawns and tired signs (sucking his thumb and twirling his hair!!) and then put him to bed - it was 7.30pm.  And was awake at 5am.     At least I got some exercise this morning ....right?!  Who needs sleep.      

Mel

[GG]

You definitely know your child better, so I can't say anything about his tired cues, however, neither of my kids show signs of tiredness. DD could be awake all day, with no nap, and she'll be acting refreshed and silly when she should be sleeping. DS doesn't usually look tired, either, but I try to get him into bed by 8 pm (he dropped all naps just before he turned 3 yo).

[debandbrian]

We are suddenly having the same thing - not 5 am but 5:45 for the past week or so. On a daycare day (M-F) I can understand bc they legally have to give him a 2-hr rest period and I'm sure he dozes off sometimes and gets the extra minutes then, but on Saturday and Sunday he has no nap and is sleeping around 7:15, give or take, so the 5:45 wakeup only gives him 10.25 hrs at best. He's fine - a bit cranky when told no to, but he would definitely be much happier with another hour!!! One day this week he crawled into our bed so dh left, and he and I ended up sleeping until 6:45. But I don't want him sleeping in our bed to be a habit!!

Any ideas - too tired, or not tired enough?

Deb

[Vicku]

Hi Mel!
I just wanted to send you some {{{hugs}}} That must be so hard, especially since it's been going on for that long. We've had EW of the same kind of times, lasted about 6 months, and tht was bad enough. I don't have any advice really just wanted to give you some sympathy and hugs.
xxxxxxxx Vicku

[GG]

Hmm.. my comments sounds sort of bitchy to me now. I hope it's just me and my PMS.   If it's not just me, I apologize.

I agree with sending extra hugs {{{HUGS}}}.  If he's not tired enough to nap at daycare but he's still waking up at 5 pm, I feel your pain (or, in this case, tiredness). Darn kids. Don't worry, he'll be wanting to sleep in by the time he goes to school. *hehe*

[speechie]

Hugs for you Mel- That just plain sucks!
Sleep vibes coming your way~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Melsy]

Thanks for all the hugs and sympathy guys!!!     Nice to know I am not alone!!  Deb - I am so with you on that question - is he too tired or not tired enough.     My brain is telling me he is WAY overtired but has learnt to deal with it, if that makes sense?? 

Last night was the worst night ever in terms of getting Aidan to bed.     He had a flip out because he wanted custard (and found some in the fridge) but it was off.     But he couldn't understand why he couldn't have it.  Had a total flip out.  Screaming, throwing himself arolund etc.        Tried to move on with bedtime routine but it just went downhill from there.  He got so bad that DH put him in his room (he had lost his patience BIG time) and Aidan totally trashed his room.                 It was awful.  Never ever seen him like that.  And he totally scared his little brother - he was a crying mess too.   

He finally fell asleep EXHAUSTED at 7.45pm - then BANG!  5am like clockwork this morning!     I had hoped the stress might have worn him out a bit more than usual!

Think I will try W2S tonight - am so scared though!  5am is bad enough - if I do W2S at 4am and he wakes completely - well I think I will just go book myself into the looney bin!!!   

Mel

[Sylvia.]

sorry about last night, hugs and good luck for tonight

[debandbrian]

Oh, so sorry about last night. Definitely sounds like overtired to me, and I think my ds wrote the book on being overtired and just getting used to it...since the day he was born!!

I tried an earlier bedtime last night, he was sound asleep by 7:10 but then had a night waking at 1am - full out crying, something about the blanket so I just tucked him back in and sat at the foot of his bed for a minute and he was out again. Woke and cried again when I tried to leave (creaky floor!) so another tuck in and I told him I was going to the bathroom then back to my bed and would leave his door open. 

He probably lost about 15 mins sleep from that, so say he fell asleep at 7:25pm - was up at 5:50. So almost 10.5 hrs, yet again. And he was REALLY whiny when he woke up.  Happy if we let him watch tv, but considering we have to dress, have breakfast and be out the door by 7:45, that's not an option.


Sigh...my heart goes out to you, from one mom of a non-sleeper to another.  Let me know if you come up with anything that works. Will just keep trying the early bedtimes and if we are up at 5:30, then at least dh and I got some good time together in the evening....

Deb

[Melsy]

Hey Deb - how are things going??  I feel for you with the early mornings and being pregnant.  It must be tough.

He went to bed slightly later last night - 7.30pm (couldn't get dinner on the table on time  ) and I set my alarm for 4am and did W2S.  Awake at 5.13am.               Not 5am for once, but with the slightly later bed time, that means 9.75hrs of sleep.  So not enough I don't think!!!  And he is being cranky today so far.  Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhh!  I have just had enough!!!  I am going to go to the chemist shortly to see if there is ANYTHING I can give him, just for a couple of days even, just to try and break this cycle!!!!  I am going nuts!! 

Am hoping that you have had slightly better luck than we have been having. 

Mel