Please Help!

[Mama2C]

Original Post:
My 22 mo has had a soother for bed and naps since she was 6 mo. We threw out soothers (she happily did it herself) on Thursday. She had a bit of an adjustment on Thursday and Friday but was okay to sleep. This weekend she started really balking at naps and bed time, screaming hysterically for 20+ minutes (we go in ever few minutes to remind her to lie down, etc). We have put on music to help her soothe herself, but she is having SUCH a rough time. She has some dolls which she loves, but they aren't comforts to her. She is starting to ask for her soother again today and is so sad about it that it breaks my heart. She really is a soother girl, although only for sleep times. I am feeling compelled to give it back to her, as it will make sleep times much more pleasant for her. SHe used to love to go to sleep and now she is traumatized by it which doesn't seem good to me.

Please, I need some perspective and some advice!

Thanks!!!!

Now She is not napping. SHe wants to read, but not rest. She keeps crying for me every 10 minutes. Could also be teething, but gave her tylenol before nap (an hour ago). I know ginving her the soother will mean all of this was for nothing, but she is habing such a hard time and I am in my first trimester of pregnancy and I need her to sleep well!!!!!!

UPDATE: She is refusing to fall asleep at bedtime now. It is dreiving me CRAZY!!! I actually threw a book in front of her (but not at her obviously). I can't stand it. I want to be strong and not give her the soother (she isn't asking for it) but she will not soothe herself. It has been 40 mins of back and forth wi/wo, taking toys from her crib etc. All to no avail.

New update: I am caving. I am getting her soother. I actually yelled at her and I refuse to do that again so she gets it and I get to have my happy baby again. Wish I had received some replies, but oh well.

[*Natasha*]

HUGS sorry you are having a hard time 
Why did you originally decide to take the soother away? Was she only using it for sleep?
BTW love your avatar 

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I wish I had seen this earlier, I have a 26 month old who still uses soothers at nap and bed, they are actually her comfort item as she sucks on one and holds the other!!! I have a 3 month old and I decided when I was pregnant to let her keep them. I thought she might givve them up when she saw that they were for babies, but dd2 doesn't even use one.....don't feel bad, if it's only a bedtime thing, who cares? she's happy, you're happy!!!

congrats too, on the new baby!!!

Heidi

[skatty]

Oh no sorry you didn't get help when you needed it  Don't feel bad about giving her dummy back, it sounds like a true comfort item and if it does it's job and she sleeps well it can't be all bad can it? My DD is a dummy addict but only for sleeps and I am way too chicken to take it away! My SIL's DD stopped napping when they took her dummy away and she started waking extremely early as she had nothing to self soothe with and she was almost 3, they are now letting her brother have his dummy until he decides to give it up.

I hope sleep is now restored in your house so you can get some much needed Y time, you must be tired being inthe first tri and having a toddler 

[Lissybits]

I think I would be inclined to let her have the dummy if she only has it to go to sleep with - what's the problem?
If it ain't broken - don't fix it!
Lis

[lewismummy]

Hugs xx

My ds is only 16 months and a complete dummy addict so im letting him have it for naps and be abt beenasndtime only until he gives it up himself (or starts school lol). The last few nights ds hasnt been able to suck it properly due to teething pain and it is hell, gave me a glimpse into what dummy withdrawal would be like!!!

If it works id let her keep it, especially with you needing so much rest at the min 

[jess, lukeys_mom]

Mama2C, Sorry you didn't get quicker replies, I also wish I had seen this sooner - but to be honest I think you did the right thing.  Luke is the same age as your dd and uses his dummy for sleep only (though at times he would really love to have it more). I have gone back and forth about it but can only think of good reasons to keep it from him during the day. For now he seems too little to take it away during the night.

I'm also in my 1st trimester of pregnancy and I figure that when #2 comes along it will be nice for luke to have extra comfort, so my plan is to wean it around 3 yo when we can rationalize and make a "big boy" game out of it. Now when I take it away - or even when we put it away for the day - he doesn't seem to get the sense of permanence, kwim?

When I have posted on BW about weaning the dummy I have always received replies saying "do you have a good reason for it? Otherwise just go with it until he's more ready to give it up." So that's why we still have it!

[skatty]

Sorry to intrude but congrats Jess Did I miss a big announcement? I hope you are well and have a wonderful, smooth pregnancy and you too Mama2c 

[Mama2C]

Thanks for all of your replies. She slept beautifully last night after I gave it back to her. It fell out of her mouth after half an hour and she didn't take it again until the morning.

But now she doesn't want to nap anymore. SHe isn't tired either, but I am!!! So we will try naps again and hope she hasn't cut them out.

I originally decided to talk to her about taking them away in a month or so (I didn't want her to have it over age 2, on the recommendation of my dentist) and as soon as I mentioned it, she threw it out immediately herself, no hesitation which shocked me completely!

But I am really worried that she has cut out naps due to this - it is the 2nd day in a row with no nap.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

If she isn't keeping it in her mouth all night, I can't see where it would really affect her teeth  that much (but then I'm not a dentist....)  Keep trying with the naps though, or at least a quiet time in her crib to give yourself a break. DD1 still takes naps, but she will skip it once a week or so and just relax in her crib for an hour, trust me I could care less if she sleeps, but just to have a break now that the baby is here is wonderful!!! (and if you can co-ordinate there naps its pure heaven!)

Heidi

[*Natasha*]

My DD1 went through napping problems when i was pregnant with DD2 one day i was on the phone in tears to my DH about it lucky he works 10mins away and came home and helped me out. It was short lived though so persist with the nap. Could you post the time she wakes and the time you are putting her down for a nap perhaps you need to put her down a little later?

[skatty]

At 22 months my DD went through a horrible no nap phase  I started getting her up ayt 7am everyday and giving her nap at 12.30 which was quite a big jump in A time and she has napped ever since, it is very common that they g through a phase like this at this age and maybe a rotine tweak is in order 

PS I am so glad the nights are back to being good. Dentists seem to have differing opinions on dummies, some say they are ok until after 3 , some say they are evil and some say they don't effect teeth at all, I d know t take awaty my DD's dunny at the mo' would be like taking away a best friend 

[jess, lukeys_mom]

PS I am so glad the nights are back to being good. Dentists seem to have differing opinions on dummies, some say they are ok until after 3 , some say they are evil and some say they don't effect teeth at all,

That is true, my dentist has said 3 or 4, and that if he doesn't use it during the day it's really doing no harm to the teeth    I have also heard that the design of dummies nowadays makes them quite safe on teeth

[Mama2C]

Here is DD's sleep routine: 7:40: wake up; 1-2:30 usual nao; 8:15 bed.

We think she has become afraid of her bed (which she used to adore) after the whole no soother horror. Last night she fussed a bit and I had to encourage her to hug her doll and that worked (although she woke up at 2 am upset and needed a hug and encouragement to hug her doll again). Then today she balked at having a nap even though she looked so tired so I said I would stay in her room (on the other side) reading a book if she would lie down. After 15 mins of her resting but eyes still open I told her I had to do some chores and if she needed me she could call me. I left and she slept for over an hour and a half! When she woke up, she was in a good mood and pointed to where I was sitting before.

I figure I might have to do this for a few days to get her to feel comfortable with her room again.

Thanks again!

[Sarahlolly]

Ahh glad she napped for you.  DD is really fighting her nap at the moment too - we've even had it as late as 5pm!

The thing is she really needs at least an hour (usually an hour and a half) or else she is cranky.  I'm wondering if this is too much for a nap now but feel better that your lo had an hour and a half too!!

DD is now struggling to get to sleep - I can hear her fighting it a bit (but she is still so tired!) - I hope she goes down soon - DS is asleep too and I really want a nice relaxing bath!

Sarah x