Can I use PU/PD with a 18 month old? Pls help!

[stephaniesmom]

My daughter has all of a sudden become insecure about going to bed on her own at night now.  We must stay in the room and sleep in the double bed beside her.  We leave when she falls asleep but sometimes it can take over an hour!  I want to try this method now but when I read the book, it only recommends it up to 1 years old.  What method do toddlers use? 

She also does not sleep through the night.  She wakes 1-2 times a night for a feeding.  She's not a great eater so she becomes hungry at night.  She sleeps through the night on occasion... maybe once every week!  Pls help... we're tired and cranky! 

TIA!

[Mama2C]

I can believe that you're tired and cranky!! I tend to use walk in/walk out (wi/wo) with my dd who is 22 mo. After 12 mo, I sometimes used a combination of put down (no pick up) and wi/wo. I would go in, sit her back down encourage her to lie down, and walk on, and I'd wi when she cried again, sit her down, walk out, etc, for sometimes up to 45 mins until she calmed down. Sometimes if there is something really bad (like lately she is scared of her bed) I stay in her room (on the other side) not making eye contact at all and leaving before she is asleep but is relaxed. I'm going to try to do this for shorter amounts of time over a few days until she is able to be on her own. But you dd is probably in need of much longer intervention. For me it depends if I am trying to break a habit (night feeding, not falling asleep alone) or easing a fear (fear of dark, fear of a nightmare, etc). With fears, I tend to be much more present physically for a day or two but not long enough to cause a new habit to form.

I am not surprised that she is not too hungry during the day if she is feeding 1-2 times at night. It's probably high time to cut out night feedings completely and her day time appetite should come back. My DD was nursing 3 times a night at 14 months when I cut her off cold turkey. I told her it was going to happen and gave her a big night feeding (while reminding her that there would be no milk at night so urged her to "fill up!") then I did a combo of pd (only, not pu) and wi/wo, all while talking to her gently and reminding her that she could get milk etc in the morning. It took us 3 hellish nights to get her to sleep through and no longer need night feedings. But it also meant the end of nursing, she weaned herself slowly after that and by 15 months was not interested at all in nursing.

I am sure there will be loads of other advice too!

Good luck! I will be thinking of you!

[coopers_mommy]

I completely agree with Mama2C!  PU/PD is probably not going to be the best solution.  With DS PU/PD would stimulate him more than help him calm down, with exception to illness, teething, etc when APing is used in our house. 

WI/WO is a great tool to use.  This is a great link to read!  http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0   It sucks the first night or two...I won't lie!  You and DH might actually go insane a few times....just make sure it's just one of you while the other is still sane .  You have to keep in mind that your dd has had you in the room with her to help fall asleep, so when  she sees you walk out, it will be totally different.  Explain to her that you won't be in the room anymore and that when you turn off the light and walk out, then it is time to lie down, snuggle with lovey, and go to sleep.  And then begin WI/WO if necessary.  Are you familiar with mantra crys vs real cry?

For the night feedings, I again agree....they need to disappear!  Especially if her appetite is lost during the day.  Those feedings are no longer necessary and are rather habitual.  When we stopped night nursings, we began a week before explaining to DS that in a week (and counted down as the day got closer) mommy would not come to nurse him when he woke up.  Instead Daddy would be there to help him go back to sleep.  Sometimes he would take in a sippy of warm milk....but truthfully we didn't do that much because we didn't want to replace a breast with a cup of milk!  Most of the time he would go in, pick up DS, show him his lovey, and say it's time to go back to sleep.  There was rocking and other APing which occured at this time.  But it only took about a week to get over the habitual wakings to eat!  DS still nurses once a day....what can I say, I have raised a booby monster!

I don't suggest tackling both of these issues at the same time.  You could possibly go crazy by doing that.  I would suggest starting with tackling the going to sleep issue at the start of the night.  That might also help eliminate the NW's since DD would learn again how to put herself to sleep.  Be prepared for WI/WO to take up to an hour some nights....but it's only a week or so of hell....think of the pride you'll feel when you can lay her down, walk out, here her talk to her stuffed toys about her day, and then fall asleep! 

Keep coming back for help too....we all receive advice and then try and help with advice where we can!