We need help again

[SammyNik]

DS 19mo has been having issues with his sleep since we got back from a holiday nearly a month ago. Last week he was poorly and this actually helped solve the issue, ie long night wakings and taking a long time to fall asleep, so I have had 5 good nights but last night things got bad again and I don't know what to do. At bedtime last night he went happily to bed but before I was even downstairs he was screaming for me and it took 40mins to settle him, tonight same thing except it has taken me 1hr 10mins to settle him and I was in his room the whole time until he fell asleep and his door is wide open as I couldn't shut it as everytime I tried he woke and started crying again. The problem with that is we have a cat and I don't want him getting in with ds in the night. I am really not sure what is causing this so I don't know what to do, the only thing I can think of is that he has developed an aversion of going into a room without the light on and that maybe it is the total darkness in his room that is upsetting him, but he goes to sleep perfectly at naptime so I don't know if it could be this? Any help appreciated Niki x

[*Natasha*]

Same thing happened to us when DD1 was the same age and we put it down to separation anxiety. We used the gradual withdrawal method(check out the FAQS section) and it took us a good month before we were able to get her to her to go to sleep on her own without any help from us. When sleep training remember it often gets worse before you see any improvement.

[NoelleChristine]

You could also get a little night light for him.  Hope it gets better for you.  It's no fun I know.

[SammyNik]

Tonight was bad again, but not as bad as last night. It took him 50mins to go to sleep but I wasn't in the room when he dropped off so thats something. I got him a night light today but he asked me to turn it off after a while and he fell asleep without it so thats a waste of £20 I was wondering about SA as there is quite a lot going on here at the moment, just found out we are expecting Twins and looking at moving house so this could be a problem but he is fine during the day, could it just come out at night? He naps so well during the day, I have wondered if he is getting too much daytime sleep but I don't know if I want to mess with something else and risk making it all worse? I am off to work for the night soon so i'm hoping he sleeps well for daddy

[NoelleChristine]

I got him a night light today but he asked me to turn it off after a while and he fell asleep without it so thats a waste of £20

Stink pot! 

It could be too much daytime sleep.    I know Gunnar only gives me a hard time going to bed at night when he's had too much daytime sleep.

[SammyNik]

Well DH had a terrible night last night, DS was awake for nearly 3hrs I really don't know what to do with him anymore, its driving us both insane. They have now gone off to nanny's for the day so I can get some sleep and I have told DH to try and get him to nap at 12 and not sleep any longer than 2hrs and I have also ordered him to keep DS as active as possible so they are planning on heading off to the park for a few hours. When he was awake in the night, DH said he was alternating between crying, calling for me and DH and asking to get up, DH is pretty sure if he had got him up he would have been happy to play all night I just don't know what to do, he has always been a good sleeper up until this point and has definitely not been a problem getting to sleep at night, he has always been happy to just chill in his cot if he wasn't that tired but now he just calls for us as soon as we leave him. DH thinks he has learnt if he calls we will come but I am not willing to leave him if he is upset.

[NoelleChristine]

Hmmmm....I'm so sorry you, or DH, has such a terrible night.  Hopefully running him ragged and not letting him sleep longer than the 2 hours will make the difference tonight.  BTW, how much daytime sleep was he getting?  Do you adjust his bedtime according to how long his nap was and what time he woke up?  It might not be that he's had too much sleep, it could be that his bedtime is too close to the time he woke.  Without knowing it's hard to say for sure.

DH thinks he has learnt if he calls we will come but I am not willing to leave him if he is upset.

I don't blame you.  I wouldn't just leave him either.  You don't really know what the issue is and he could have a genuine need.  But, he does need to go to bed and stay in bed KWIM?  If it were me, and I knew he wasn't sick or had some other issue like teething or too much daytime sleep, I'd do the wi/wo for as long as it took.  He's old enough to understand and if you are consistent with it he'll get.  It may take some time but my feeling is if this is a somewhat knew habit he's formed, it shouldn't be too hard to help him change it and get back to the great sleeper he was.

Hang in there!