Cannot get DS to settle at night in bassinet

[besjoux]

What we find is that if he fusses for 2 hours he goes down GREAT....falls asleep and stays asleep. If we have a great winddown and quiet evening he is harder to get down and stay down. He will stay asleep in his bassinet for 5- 10 minutes and then wake up. We also have had NO luck getting him to fall asleep on his own at this time....middle of the night he will, but not at his bedtime. We end up putting him down when he is asleep and shhh/pat him for 15 minutes or more. Shh/pat is working so well anymore.

His easy is every 3 hours starting at 7:30 or 8:00 am

At night we feed every 2 hours starting at 4.

We try for a nap at 6 - 7 and his bedtime is at 8

He was 2 months old yesterday

[elmarie]

Would you mind posting your whole EASY for us 

[besjoux]

On most days it is the below...I can't adhere to it entirely because DS doesn't sleep in the carseat...a WHOLE other problem. I can't get him to nap easily.

Usually it is the below...give or take 30 minutes

E 8
A 8:30
S 9

E 10
A 10:30
S 11

E 12:30
A 1
S 1:30

E 2:30
A 3
S 3:30

E 4:30
A 5:00
E 5:30
S 6:00

A 7 - this is when we turn lights down and relax. We do watch tv as a family. He does start to get a bit tired here but he also just wakes up. He is EASY to get to sleep in the evening but then wakes up after his last bottle and won't go back to sleep easily...VERY fussy
E  8 Dad gives his only bottle for the day (I EBF)

We usually can't get him to settle until after 9 or 10 and it is getting very stressful...soemthing I thought he'd grow out of.

He then wakes up anywhere from 12:30 -2  and again after 5:30 for a feeding. This totally depends on how the night went. He is 9 weeks old

I did change his night routine... can some one advise if this is a problem?

[besjoux]

Also, I do use whitenoise and we tightly swaddle

[bennysmama]

Hi

Just wondered...and I could be horribly wrong (I'm new to the parenting thing!)...but could the TV be overstimulating? 

My DS loves, loves, loves TV (to the point where he'll nearly turn his head a full 360 degrees to see a screen, lol) but we pay for it if we let him watch!!  He'll either not go to sleep for ages or wake up on the hour, every hour. 

As an experiment, you could cut out the TV for a couple of days and see if it has any effect.

HTH 

[besjoux]

He really isn't interested in it....and UGH if we give it up...it is our only entertainment for 1 hour in the evening.

[bennysmama]

Hang on...just spotted something I missed the first time round!  Am I right in thinking he effectively has a nap at 6pm, gets up for an hour, watches TV then eats again? 

If so, then the 6pm nap is probably messing with the night-time sleep -- I think Tracey advises no napping after 5pm.   

So either you could have bedtime at 6pm and move the wakeup time to around 6am (urrrrgh ), or cut out the 6pm nap and make, say, 7pm bedtime.  Move naps around a little to fit and this might solve the problem hopefully -- plus the added benefit of not cutting out TV time for everyone else  

Good luck!
x
Em

[besjoux]

Yes, he has a 6 PM nap. I thought....or was told that he was overtired and that in the evening he should not be awake more than an hour after a nap? Is this correct? It seems there are so many rules...I am having a hard with with an appropriate routine for his age.....and it is stressing us out to have him so worked up at night.

What is a good evening routine for a LO his age?

[bennysmama]

Awww hun, hugs!  I know what you mean about the many rules to remember!   It gets easier, I promise.

Okaaay, so he's 2 months old.  A good bedtime for us was around 6pm to 7pm.  Since you aim for a 12 hour day in total, this means waking up will be either at 6am or 7am.   If you jig the naps round to fit, this might solve the problem.  Any change takes a couple of days to kick in, so give it a little bit of time.

Hope this link might help.  You'll see some people have bedtimes round 6-7 and others go for 8-9.  Guess it depends on what suits you best. 

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=10384.0

What does your winddown routine before bedtime look like?   

HTH 

[Elke]

Okay, so even now when me LO who is 3 months old has slept poorly in the evening I put her to bed super early at 18:30 but usually at 19:00. If she wakes up early from her last nap I never try to keep her up for any longer than her usual A time, it will only make for a horrible evening. This early bedtime shouldn't effect her waking time in the morning, but even if it does, that's something that can probably be altered further ahead. Maybe it is something you should consider, 20:00 seems too late to me to start the bedtime routine. LO's this age should be having bedtime earlier.

What I would try is not keeping her up for longer than an hour after 16:30. Try puttin her down again at 17:30 for another nap and wake her again at 18:15. That would give her another hour until her bedtime, which I would recommend be at the latest 19:15. I don't know what Tracy recommended regarding napping after 17:00 but she has an A time of 1 hour, so she would have to have bedtime at 18:00 if she didn't take another nap...

I think your LO is difficult to put down because her biological clock wants her to be asleep earlier. My LO goes into a kind of a trance when she is ready for bedtime, she is super easy to get to sleep.....

Here is what your evening would look like:
E:16:30
A:
S:17:30

E:18:15
A: bedtime routine
S: 19:15

Give it a try and let me know how you get on!

[besjoux]

Probably needs to be earlier....but I was REALLY hoping for an 8:00 AM wake time (past 2 days he only makes it to 7:30) because this is a BIG Y time for me....probably the only good Y time for me. I have the opportunity to feed my horses, work out and get in a shower. HIs naps are so difficult so I don't really get Y time then....I have to help him sleep too much and generally to get a good nap (over 45 minutes) we put him in the sling.

Our winddown consists of changing clothes, feeding bottle, turning on whitenoise and sitting....sometimes we sit and bounce on the exercise ball....I know that is a prop but it works for us, still trying to figure out how this is going to hurt in the end.

Should we start by bringing back his bedtime tonight? Say, try feeding him at 7;30 and bed by 8...rather than feed at 8 and then bedtime? Slowly see what makes sense in getting him to sleep earlier?

[besjoux]

I forgot...I have looked at (A LOT) the EASY routines for 0 -3 months but they are all so different that it confuses me even more and I can't (for the life of me) pick a routine that would work best for us.

[elmarie]

Hi,

here is a sample routine that is appropriate for a 2 month old.  Remember it is a guideline and you need to adjust it to suit your LO.  I know it is really hard in the beginning but it will get better:

I really do think that your lo is a bit OT.  3-4A for this age is way too long.  This may be the reason why he is also fussing when he goes down for a nap. is routine at this age should look something like this:(remember this is a guideline suggested by Tracy, your times may differ)

7 wake and feed
8.15 Swaddle and lay baby in cot (may take 15-20min to fall asleep)
10 Feed H
11.15 2nd nap
1pm feed
2.15 pm nap
4 feed
5.15pm catnap (40-50min)
6.00pm 1st cluster feed
7.30 Another catnap
8.00 2nd clusterfeed
In bed after cluster feed
10-11 pm dreamfeed

A time will increase slowly and the 2nd cluster feed can be dropped around 8 weeks.  Dreamfeed will continue to more and less 7-8months.

A lack of routine can often cause babies not settle down easily.  It is extremely important to start an adequate sleep routine and using the 4s to get him to go down relaxed (p.181 BWSAYP Tracy explaines how to do this). The 4s stands for
Sitting
Setting the stage
Swaddling
Shh/patting (when necessary)

HTH 

[summersusu]

Can i tag on to this....I am having similiar issues with DS.  He has the hardest time settling at night, atleast I have counted the last three nights.  He is FF.  Here is his routine
E 6:30
S 7:40
E 9:30
S 10:30
E 12:30
S 1:30
E 3:30
S 4:15
A bath jammies 6:30
E 7:00 (wide awake and fussy)
E 9:30ish
S after bottle till 12 or so and then 4am

He spends a lot of time in his swing (think he has some reflux) so sitting up works best for him.  My first DS use to fall out after the bath and bottle and we would wake him to feed him at 9 but not this one.  I never did do dreamfeeds or cluster, it just doesn't work well.  The DF is just not worth it to me, we go to bed early.

[besjoux]

We go to bed too early too (since we wake at 5:30)...so no DF here either (I'd never make it that long without falling asleep).

Last night we moved his bedtime forward a half hour...he was so overtired though. He went to  bed SO easily but then woke 45 minutes later (classic OT?) screaming. I tried to settle him in his bassinet using shh/pat and holding him while in the bassinet (arms around him). He screamed a good 15 minutes and then settled. I supported him but did NOT pick him up. The nght before last (when he was OT) we DID pick him up and he ended up waking every 45 minutes all night....DH and I could NOT handle that 2 nights in a row, we were EXHAUSTED!

Believe it or not, the crying helped to settle him. I think it provided a release of energy and he slept great! Woke happy and we are all happy!!!!

However, I hope this is accetable to BW? I am really not sure...I just tried to follow his lead and cues....and I know that cry, it isn't easy to settle whether he is in our arms or not.