So discouraged about getting my touchy baby to sleep independently consistently

[Peek-a-boo]

I've been needing to post this for several days but can't figure out where to put it, so I'm putting it here and somebody can move it if this is wrong. 

I'm so discouraged with trying to get my touchy 7 month old to be an independent sleeper.  It seems like every time we get things sorted out, something crops up and causes a big regression.  At six weeks, we started doing an Aussie swaddle and, miraculously, on her own, she started falling asleep independently--most of the time.  I was ecstatic.   Naps were short and inconsistent, but night sleep was good and she was falling asleep independently most of the time, so I figured it was a good foundation and her day sleep would fall into place as she matured.

There were lots of little ups and downs, but the first major hitch happened when at 4.5  months she started rolling in the swaddle, which I didn't feel was safe, so I weaned it.  The following 2.5 months have been a sleep roller coaster with lots of work on sleep training and independent sleep and then things happen to disrupt her:

--swaddle weaning
--traveling over night
--teething
--house guests for Thanksgiving
--more teething
--learning to get up on her knees
--more teething
--more house guests
--actually learning to crawl (who can sleep when you can suddenly get to all those places you've been staring at for months!)
--more house guests for Christmas
--now a really horrible hacking cough

She got this cough out of no where  on Friday and any time I go to put her down for sleep she starts crying and it makes her cough which makes her cry harder, so I'm letting her fall asleep in my arms and then putting her down.  Two nights ago she was up for 1.5 hours coughing in my arms during the night, unable to fall asleep.  This morning she started her day almost 2 hours earlier than normal and is now in the midst of what I expect to be her third nap of less than 30 minutes. 

I don't know if the short sleeps are because of the cough or because I'm letting her fall asleep in my arms or a bit of both. 

She doesn't cough that often during A time, but when she does it sounds awful and sleep time really seems to bring out the cough and stuffiness.

Anyhow, I'm discouraged.  Every time we make progress, something comes along to disrupt it.  I'm tired.  She's waking up so often at night.    I feel like I'm being inconsistent and like I should some how be achieving independent sleep despite the disruptions, but I just can't.  When she starts crying and then coughing and then it makes her get snotty I just can't push her to settle independently.  I tried one night when she first got the cough and an hour later after a lot of crying, coughing and snot that got us no where near sleep I ended up holding her to sleep.  I feel so bad for sending her mixed messages.

I really need hugs more than advice, although I'd welcome advice too.   

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}

is it a dry cough? we used a humidifier in Spencer's room, helped alot....sorry no help other than to sympathize, we have been off track since the MIL babysat 3 weeks ago!

Heidi

[sbchic1999]

First .....LOTS OF HUGS.  It is really tough to be consistent when you are tired and your baby is a mess for whatever reason. Now on to the advice...

We use a hot air vaporizer (with a liquid Vicks additived) and raise the head of the crib up a little and seems to help the coughing a lot.  If LO is coughing a lot probably won't be sleeping well either.

I too feel like there is constantly something disrupting DS's sleep.  We started sleep training around 10 months and after that we got teeth, then he had bad itchy eczema, food allergies, traveling, teeth, traveling again, etc.  But the trick is to stay consistent but SLIGHTLY flexible.  Kids need extra comforting at times but it shouldn't be so drastic that they think they have a new routine (i think something done 3 times must indicate to a kid a new routine/habit).  It is tough and frustrating sometimes but it will workout in the long run and your LO will always know wht to expect.

My advice:

When coughing problem is tackled start anew the next day.  Be absolutely consistent.  If something comes up like say teething again, give a few extra snuggles and some teething meds and keep at it.  IF you travel, try to be as loyal to your routine as possible when you are away and then hopefully the transition won't be so rough when you get bakc home.  Expect a transition and a week or so of adjustment but the longer you are consistent the quicker kids bounce back.

I know you must be exhausted but please don't give up.  It is really tough being sleep deprived and trying to do what seems like is not working over and over.

[elmarie]

Awhh Bethany-it does sound as if you are having a horrible time at the moment {{{HUGS}}} .

I know it is very disheartening when you just on track and something happens to make it change.  It is very tiring and emotionally exhausting and you need to to whatever will get you through this.  B maybe you need to have the cough checked out is you are not happy about it.  .  I know for us the humidifier does help to sooth the itchiness.   

[Peek-a-boo]

Thanks ladies, for all the encouragement!    We have a humidifier going in her room--it's like a nice tropical jungle in there .  I don't think it's quite time to take her to the doctor yet though.  I'm going to give it a few more days.  I hate going to the doctor and hearing, "Well, let's keep in eye on it . . ."

Last night her night sleep was actually better, except that she woke up at 6:30 and wouldn't go back to sleep.  This made for a very short night, sleeping only 9:00pm-6:30 am.   

Her third nap yesterday (which she was taking while I posted) ended up going from 5:15-6:30 pm, so she didn't get to bed until 9:00 (on the plus side, she did fall asleep independently though).

She had a 50 minute nap this morning and is now down for another nap.  It's early enough that I'll need to try to squeeze in a 3rd nap.  If I succeed, it's going to set us up for another late bed time.  I'm really hoping when the cough goes away she returns to her former patterns.  Her normal routine is like this:

8:00ish wake
11:00-12:30 nap
3:30-5:00 ish nap
8:00 ish bed time