Am now so desperate I don't know what to do

[emmiebruce]

I posted sometime back about my lo's lack of naps but things have just got so much worse.  He is a spirited baby and fights sleep all day long.  When he does sleep it is usually only for 40 mins and within an hour of waking he is screaming with tiredness again.  I have tried getting into a nap routine but I can't seem to get him to wind down enough and he usually just cries until he falls asleep.  This is every hour and a half and am utterly shattered.  I am so desparate I am considering just leaving him to cry but I have always been against controlled crying, especially at such a young age.  I have even resorted to rocking or pushing him in the pram but absolutely nothing works.  I just feel so down as I feel that I am failing him by not being able to help him relax and as the day goes on it just gets worse and worse as he becomes more OT.

I have tried putting him in a darkened room to minimise stimulation but this just makes him more wound up.  I have tried putting him down before he is too sleepy and also putting him down when he is almost asleep, neither makes any difference, the minute he hits the cot he screams until I take him out.  Occasionally he will sleep in his chair but even this is hit and miss.  I probably haven't helped as I have recently taken away his dummy as it had become a prop and we had numerous night wakings to put it back in.  Thankfully the nights have improved but I am worried that the days will start to affect the nights and he won't be sleeping at all!! 

Any words of comfort and advice are really appreciated xx

[Evgenia]

{Big Hugs} U r not failing ur lo!!!! U r doing the best u can and from what u r saying u really have tried every available option! The only idea I have: my friend has a spirited baby and she hates her cot and settles much better in a crib or bassinet, smaller sleeping spots seem to be more cosy and comfy for her.
I would also keep trying putting ur lo in a darkened room, tracy did stress on numerous occasions that spirited babies need all kinds of stimulation to be cut out in order to be able to fall asleep and stay asleep.
Best of Luck!!!

[helenfinnandben]

I am in a simmilar position and have no idea how to extend the naps. Not sure how old your lo is? Controlled crying has worked well for us at night and we're getting better nights but not working in the day

[emmiebruce]

He's only 14 weeks

[helenfinnandben]

Hmm definayley too young for cc then! My lo (also spirited) is 8 months old now and has always been a very bad napper - night were horrendous until about a month ago when he suddenly just went to one night wkaing at about 4-5 am instead of the 20 we were having before that!
I'm wondering if some babies just can't go longer in the day. Have you tried wake to sleep? It worked for us quite well when his naps were 40 mins- we went in at 20 mins and shuffled him about a bit and he's sometimes then do 1 1/2hrs. Now his naps are down to 20 min it's more tricky to do!

[DebMcGee]

Emmie. Are you positive he is getting enough food? I say this first because my own experience with DD was that she was either really tired or hungry so wouldn't sleep. Back then I thought she was bored but apparently not! My breastmilk dried up at 13 weeks so I had to put her on the bottle and right away it was clear she was starving and must have been for a long time. Are you bottle or breast feeding? If breast, you could consider topping up with formula. I was really anti this idea back then but now - woudln't think twice about it in hte future. it;s more important that they are well nourished than my preferences to breastfeed.

Are you also sure you spend enough wind down time before naps? I used to just whisk her away from A time, plonk her down and if she wouldn't settle within 5 mins, I'd assume she didn't need to sleep! Stupid now looking back but they don't have a manual do they?!

Don't lose heart. Things will get better and you will feel better soon too. When things get too much for me I jsut keep thinking 'perspective' to help me avoid thinking up lots of scenarios - all worst case!

Good luck
Dx

[emmiebruce]

He is def not hungry, I upped his ozs in case this was it and there has been no difference.   I am still trying with the wind down, everything I try just seems to overstimulate him and when he is already tired this just makes things worse.  I am going to start afresh on Monday and try pat shh again with a new short wind down routine (not sure exactly what yet!). 

He's currently asleep in his chair and has been for 1 1/2 hours though I have to admit I rocked him slightly when he woke the first time, I figured that in order to break the cycle I need to get him a bit less tired and a couple of days of AP can't make things any worse lol!!   

[anna*]

(((hugs))) if he's OT I totally agree, get him to sleep by any means necessary. Sh-pat can wait, til you are both less tired and stressed.

A wind-down routine can be really short. As long as it's the same steps, in the same order, every time. Ours was:
30 secs looking out the window
walk upstairs
change nappy and swaddle
close the curtains
song
into bed

the whole thing took maybe 4 mins (unless it was a messy nappy) and I would skip the song if he was fussy.

Have a restful weekend!!

anna
x

[TDR'smom]

{{HUGS}}

I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time.  Just try and remember that he is still very young!

Are you swaddling him?  Using White noise?  Those always helped my lo's sleep.

Please, please please do not do cc on your lo's.  It breaks their trust and the bond between mommy and baby!

HTH!

xxx
Judy

[emmiebruce]

He is very young and it just breaks my heart when he cries so much

He hates the swaddle (likes his hands out) and white noise doesn't seem to help either!!

I hate CC too and always preach against it for the reasons you state so to be honest however desperate I feel I don't think I really would anyway!!

Thank you all for your support

Em xx

[TDR'smom]

Have you tried a tight swaddle, but leaving one arm/hand out? 

[emmiebruce]

I've tried 1, both, none and he just simply hates it!!

[clazzat]

With regards to a wind-down, I kept trying to do a wind-down with dd2 until I realised that it totally enraged her and it would take up to an hour to get her to go to sleep.  When I stopped, and just took her upstairs, put her in sleeping bag and left she started settling herself within 2-3 minutes.  Might be worth a shot?
Cx

[emmiebruce]

clazzat, I have considered that approach too as he is very easily stimulated.  I might give it a go over the weekend and see what happens