3 yo bedtime battles - time to get rid of nap? UPDATED: NWs!!!!

[Hadley12]

My dd turned 3 in December. For the last month or so we've had a few sleep issues. She delays bedtime (one more kiss, one more drink, etc) and will usually yell for us at least once after we've shut her door. A few times a week she'll yell for us in the very early morning, probably b/c her 8 mo sister wakes her at 5. When she does we go in, reassure her (usually she has something silly to say like does a princess marry a prince or a king?) and then leave. She never comes out of her room. She developed a fear of the dark right around the time the delaying/yelling started. We think it was caused by the Cloud B ladybug that shines stars on the ceiling. The stars turn off after 45 min so she would wake in the night to a pitch dark room and be scared. Anyway, we have a video monitor and even when she has finally let us out of her room and done with her one or two calls for us, she'll roll around in her bed for up to 1 hour and a half, usually not falling asleep until 9pm. I know that taking a long time to fall asleep is usually caused by being ready to give up a nap. Should we try this? Any advice on limiting the bedtime battles? She already has a very specific bedtime routine, including bath, books, lullaby, potty etc.

[Colin Macs Mom]

Can you post your daily routine? It does sound as though it's time for an adjustment.

[Hadley12]

Sure. Thanks!

5:30/6:30: Wake
7:00: Out of bed with music alarm
7:15: Breakfast
8:00: Off to preschool (M - Th)
11:30: Home from preschool; playtime or errands
12:30: Lunch
1:30: Potty, brush teeth, book, song, nap
2:00 - 3:30: sleeping
3:30 - 6:00: Active playtime, bike riding, backyard etc.
6:00: dinner
6:45: bath, jammies, teeth brushed
7:15: bedtime routine (book, potty, lullaby, daddy says goodnight, mommy says goodnight...takes at least 30 min!)
8:30 - 9:00: sleeping

With such a late bedtime, even with a nap,  sometimes she's getting less than 10 hours of total sleep which is of course not enough.

[Colin Macs Mom]

Yes, I would say it's time to shorten that nap. I would limit it to one hour and see how that goes, and then maybe down to 45 min even.

[Hadley12]

I tried two days in a row with no nap at all and although she is very tearful around bedtime from lack of nap, she is now sleeping straight through from 7:30 to 7:00 (or later...she's still sleeping now at 7:15am) and falls asleep in minutes at bedtime. I also removed her old nightlight and put in a very dim, blue light that's not as bright and more soothing. She also falls asleep to lullaby music which makes getting out of the room easier.

With 11 - 12 hours of sleep at night, is it okay to continue cold turkey and not offer a nap at all? Also, I've been moving bedtime earlier by 5 - 10 min each night. How early is too early. 7pm?

[TDR'smom]

I don't think there is such thing as "too early".  Depends on the lo. 

You are so brave to cut out the nap cold turkey!!!  I know I could not do that.  DS would be a wreck by 5PM! 

What time are you putting her to bed now?

[Colin Macs Mom]

It sounds like you're in the transition land of "Can't Win" as I call it If bedtime is going well and she's sleeping through the night, then that's good! I agree with Judy that "too early" isn't necessarily possible, especially right now.

[Hadley12]

Okay, help!! She's falling asleep in seconds at around 7:20 but last night she was up from 3am until 4:30am yelling at the top of her lungs for Mommy every 10 minutes. I would go in and repeat the same phrase ("it's time to close your eyes and go to sleep. i'll see you when the sun comes up") but I could tell she was wired. I would have left her to yell after the first time (all she ever had to say was she wanted to get up now...she wasn't scared or anything) but my 8 month old would have woken for sure. I am assuming this is classic OT??

How do you treat night wakings if they are yelling, rather than coming out of their rooms? I didn't feel like I was getting through to her at all.

Should I go back to offering naps, maybe every other day for a week or two?

She also has been having many more meltdowns during the day since no nap. Does this mean she's just not ready or that the transition to no nap will take a few weeks until her body can go 12 hours without sleep?

[TDR'smom]

She is probably waking from being overtired.  Now that she is not napping, have you instilled "quiet time'.  An hour or so to sit and kind of "chill and relax"?

[Hadley12]

Yup, we still do quiet time. She sits and reads books for 30 - 40 min and then she gets to watch a short video and cuddle with her blanket.
Should I wait it out and continue with no nap or should I offer a short nap every other day for a while? She's a TOTAL creature of habit so I know she'll say that naps aren't part of the routine anymore but if it will stop the NWs then I'm up for the battle...