Author Topic: afraid of the dark??? or another fear???  (Read 1102 times)

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Offline lin7604

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afraid of the dark??? or another fear???
« on: January 26, 2009, 21:15:45 pm »
Since we got home last sat ( 17th) from Mexico my ds ( 27months) has had terrible bedtimes.  He does NOT want to go to bed at all, he cries uncontrollably as i put him into his bed. He gets so worked up so quickly and starts to hyperventilate...  He tries everything, rub back, rub head, water, milk, sit on his bed beside him, etc it's like he doesn't want to be alone when falling asleep... i have no idea what to do.  I don't want to get into habits rubbing, etc but usually when i do he's sleeping in 5 min or so otherwise it's a 2 hr battle to get him to sleep.  He also is having night wakes and then will only go back to sleep with me beside him!

i just took him today to the Dr just to make sure it wasn't a ear infection tc, she said his ears looked fine but when she did the readings, they were a bit low which would mean a bit of fluid there somewhere.  so she gave me meds.  He did get a cold this sat and a cough and is very congested but this was all a week prior when it all started.  He has all his teeth now, so that's not it.  he did get his last top molar over the last week or two but it's 1/4 the way out, so i would think that wouldn't bother him anymore but he still does complain about it once in a while saying "teeth hurt"??? would they still hurt being 1/4 out now???

She told me that he sounds anxious and to give him gravol before bed to relax him and after a week he should be very comfortable being at home again, sleeping in his own bed.  If he were to start up after that week of gravol then to bring him in and we would look into something else.  what do you all think......

Offline deckchariot

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Re: afraid of the dark??? or another fear???
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2009, 19:35:01 pm »
If he's just getting over a cold and being gone, that alone could be enough to mess up bedtime.  And I'm told those last molars are a real bear, so yes, I guess it could still be bothering him, even though it's partially through.  If you think it's pain, definitely work on alleviating that first.  If not, you may want to try either wi/wo or the gradual removal method to help ease him back to sleeping on his own again. Here's a link that explains that:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

hth
michelle
Michelle




Offline lin7604

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Re: afraid of the dark??? or another fear???
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2009, 20:24:09 pm »
well the cold didn't happen till 1week after all this started..... i did give him advil last night as he had a fever, it was only about a 30 min battle last night!  I just don't get how when teeth are half the way out can still cause issues as the skin is broken and all, sometimes it makes me wonder if it is really his teeth and he's a child that LOVES taking medicine!!!!! it's like candy to him, so somedays i have to wonder if they really bother him or if he just wants to chew a advil, just because???

Offline deckchariot

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Re: afraid of the dark??? or another fear???
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2009, 20:39:43 pm »
I guess there is always the possibility of meds as candy :)  hmmm...if you don't think it's pain - and you're the mommy, so you have a better read on that than anyone, then I'd do wi/wo or the gradual removal method - it may just take a little refresher course for him to "remember" that he can do this on his own.
Michelle




Offline lin7604

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Re: afraid of the dark??? or another fear???
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2009, 02:10:26 am »
ya i really believe it's a fear now.  again he was pointing to the window trying to tell me what was scarry.  he kept saying " me scared"!  i just can't get what it is yet.... tonight he wanted to be rubbed again and i told him " you know the rules" so i sat beside his bed for a bit on the floor.  I would peak over his bed once in while and he woudl kinda open his eyes to peek.  I bent down so he couldn't see me and i left his door 1/2 open.  I htink it also is a light thing, being awake and knowing he's scared but with the light it's a bit more "ok"..... so i crawled away and left his door open.  He fell asleep with in 5 min not even knowing i wasnt there anymore........ so maybe i will offer that to him 2 morrow, to leave his door open till he falls asleep and see what he says to me about it.

he was sleeping on a sofa bed in a seperate room in mexico.  We had a suite and our room closed off with a door.  i think you do have a point of being unsure about being alone now too b/c it was still kinda one big room even thought at night we closed our bed area off with the door.  I think he still knew we were right there and now his room is the one being closed off with the door, so more isolated????

He napped wonderful in mexico, he normally sleeps 1hr 15 min to 2 hrs max at home ( normally 1.5hrs at daycare max) and there he slept 2hrs min up to 3 hrs!  His whole schedule was thrown off ( he's a very scheduled kid) as lunch did open till 12 and he normally naps at 12:30, so by the time he ate and we got back to the room it wasn't till 1 - 1:15pm.  i thought that might backfire on us and him be very OT and sleep less at nap, but he napped well. He did have nightwakes there thoguh, but he was getting his last 2 top molas at that time too.  They are completely out now!

thanks everyone for the help!

Offline deckchariot

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Re: afraid of the dark??? or another fear???
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2009, 19:25:01 pm »
it looks like you may have found something that works for him :)  If he's scared, the extra reassurance from you is just what he needs, and then you can gradually wean off the time you stay with him, and then the time the door stays open.  It sounds like he just needs some time to re-adjust to being back home.  I think you're doing great with him.
Michelle




Offline lin7604

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Re: afraid of the dark??? or another fear???
« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2009, 00:38:40 am »
thanks! last night was terrible.  it took him about 35 min to finally fall asleep which wasn't bad but then he was up at 11:45 and then 2:45. that time it took him 1 hr to get back to sleep and that was with me laying with him??? I have no idea and am getting frustrated b/c i have to get up at 5:30 for work :(

Offline lin7604

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Re: afraid of the dark??? or another fear???
« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2009, 14:31:14 pm »
hummm.... i don't know if that is for me??? He's never been to easy with gradual withdrawl, we always found quicker success in the cold turkey method unfornately.  he picks up habits quickly and then they are hard to break. 

last night was about 30 min till he was asleep and we left the door open with the hallway light on low.  He woke at 12:35 and i took again about 1hr till he fell asleep again, what is up with these long awake times during bedtime????  I again left the door open, told him that mommy can't sleep in his room, i need to sleep in my own bed.  He fell asleep finally with thte door open.  So tonight i am going to try to do the same thing, leave it open till he is asleep and then close it till i am ready to go to bed, then re open it once i'm in bed so if he wakes i will see how resonds with the door already open.  maybe it's just a fear of the dark that is making him scared??? maybe with the hall light on low it's comforting??? i have no idea but it's worth a try i guess.

Offline lin7604

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Re: afraid of the dark??? or another fear???
« Reply #8 on: January 29, 2009, 20:10:01 pm »
any ideas why it's taking him 1hr to fall back to sleep with these night wakes now???