3 weeks old missing naps bcuz of SHH/PAT!!! HELP!!! WANT TO GIVE UP!

[tnkman]

Dear all

I have a 3 weeks old baby girl and she is recently put on EASY for 2 days or so.  I am VERY fustrated because using shh/pat she is actually missing her naps.. she stays awake usually from 11am to 4pm - that's like missing 2 nap times!

At 4/5pm feed, she will usually fall asleep while feeding which I know is very bad (but I need a break and want her to sleep after hours of struggle). ANY COMMENT? by 4pm, she drop into deep sleep so I don't think I should wake her to follow thru with 'activity'??

My questions are:

1) it is normal for newborn to miss nap time or stay awake for so long (when shh/pat fails)? 
    > during shh/pat, her eyes are wide open, she yawns alot (which tells me she is tired),  she
       have few spit-up (I don't know if it is because she is pat on the back; I don't think she has
       reflux b/c is on breastmilk) ... but no sleep after hours of shh/pat...

2) on shh/pat, she seem to cry more often or more fussy.... she want to eat more often like every 1.5-2 hours instead of 3 =(

3) she is a very efficient eater, only 10 minutes on one breast only. I know she is getting enough because she can sleep 3-4 hours at night, have 6/7 wet nappies, 3 soil nappies..... but she never feeds every 3 hours but rather sometimes 3 hrs, sometimes 1 hr, sometimes 2 hrs.. I am so confused. SO IS SHE GETTING ENOUGH or she is a snacker? because of this weird pattern, i don't really know WHY she is crying =(  (she always look like she is rooting)

4) if she only eats for 10 minutes, how long should activity be? is shh/patt part of activity?

5) lastly, do you let baby fall asleep at breast during nightfeed i.e. at 1am, 4am and 7am?  i.e. no activity and no shh/pat if they stay asleep?

PLEASE HELP

MANY THANKS!!!!!

T. Man

[deb]

At 3 weeks you may well be dealing with a growth spurt; they generally come around every 3 weeks or so. During  a growth spurt, any regular schedule will go out the window for a few days.

That said, I tried for a WEEK STRAIGHT (maybe more!) to use shh/pat with Nat to help get her down and I had to give it up. She wasn't sleeping, my other DD wasn't getting any mommy time, and we had no clean laundry or dishes. I actually had to resort to using a sling/carrier for maybe a month and trying again when she was a bit bigger. I had to wean her from using me as a prop, but it also allowed me to have a life till she was ready for some sleep training. (And we didn't go back to sh/pat either - I just don't think it works for every baby, and Nat was one of them, stubborn little girl!

[Hanneli]

      
       have few spit-up (I don't know if it is because she is pat on the back; I don't think she has
       reflux b/c is on breastmilk) ... but no sleep after hours of shh/pat...

You should definitely have her checked out for reflux. It doesn't matter if she's on breastmilk or formula. I doesn't have anything to do with it. What you are describing could very well be reflux.

[bovi]

Hi Tnkman,

sh/pat does not work for all babies. Try eighter of the two, just sh or just pat, or try patting his but instead of his back. If he has a reflux you should probably avoid sh/pat. For more info on reflux, check here:

Babywhisperer.com > EAT > Breast Feeding > FAQ's - Frequently Asked Questions & Related Information - Breast (Moderators: 15milner, Jocasta (CassieSam), Mum of 3 + 2 stepkids, Canwi) > Reflux or oversupply/ overactive letdown?

Reflux is a serious sickness for babies, often misunderstood, and has to be treated, make sure you think this trough and discuss with your ped.

On other questions:
1) it is not good for a three-week old to stay awake that much. It happens, it happened to my lo too. I did then AP, when they are so small they really need to sleep a lot. You will have plenty of time to do sleep training later, so dont worry if you revert to AP sometimes IMHO. You know for a baby this little even if you establish a kind of AP it is very easy to change and takes little time as they have very short memory.

2) sh/pat is hard work in the beginning, it gets easier only if you are persistent. Make sure your lo does not have reflux! then if you do it for a week for most of the naps and you dont get any improvement whatsoever then sh/pat is not for your lo

3) It is a learning process to get to know you lo. Tracy sais somewhere that at average by six month you should probably know him/her better. At three weeks it is just about the beginning. You will know later why he is crying. Do you keep a journal of your days. It is very handy to look at that sometimes.

4) sh pat is part of the A time. Everything that is not sleeping is part of it. Eating is also part of the A time. If he is a fast eater you will have more time to spend with him doing other things, but make sure his A time is short and not too active as he is so small yet.

5) during the night there is no EASY. It is all about sleeping and no activity. Dreamfeeding actually means that your lo is not fully awake while eating, so it is fine that he falls asleep on your breast. Make sure though that he has the possibility to burp if needed specially if he has reflux (for babies with reflux one need to adopt breastfeeding position and other things as well)

Great that you started EASY already, all your efforts will pay off so much later! Take your time it is a learning process.

HTH

hugs

[bovi]

Later your efforts will pay off. (and not so much later )it is really worthwhile and you will see the benefits soon

(I m not a native speaker as you might guess)