30 month old not eating and still loves bottles, please help

[Mummy P]

i hope someone can help. 

my son harldy eats.  he will eat 1 or 2 weetabix for breakfast. not fussed on lunch or dinner. 

i cannot for the life of me get him to eat fruit or veg at all. i find it very stressful to cope with (but hid this from him) and feel like i have failed him somehow. he is good and will always sit at the table, however he hardly touches his meal, says he is finished and asks to leave the table. to which i reply yes (as i have never wanted to make an issue out of it).

all my friends bribe their children and say it works, i have never done this as i know that Tracy advises this is not the road to go down.  Now i am thinking that "not making an issue out of it" has not given me any results, so i have started bribing him.

i get embarrassed when lunching at friends, because i let him leave the table when he says he is finished and when he asks nicely. the other children are all sitting their eating every morsel their mothers tells them to.

for dinner tonight he ate his salmon, 2 thirds of a banana and a yoghurt.  i gave him a chocolate biscuit for eating some dinner. was it okay to reward him?

he still loves bottles of milk.  he has 5 oz on waking and 10 oz at bedtime. i have cut a bottle out during the day and cut out snacks hoping he will feel hungry and eat at mealtimes. but he is just not interested.


thank you for reading and i look forward to hearing from anyone.

mummy p

[speechie]

Hi Mummy P and welcome to the BW boards!
Hugs and hopefully we can help give you some pointers!
I think it was appropriate to give your son a cookie as a reward/dessert when he's eaten a nice portion of dinner once in a while, but not every meal, everyday. When you say he loves bottles of milk, are they large sippy cups or bottles w/nipple to drink from? Just want to be sure I understand...
Instead of bribing, I would consider cutting out snacks for now. Go to three meals a day with a large variety on his plate. Be sure to include somethings you know he will eat, somethings that are maybe new to him.
Before he gets down from the table, it's okay in my opinion to nicely say, here take this last bite of xyz... then you can get down. when he eats a good portion, praise and say, "you really liked xyz, glad you ate so nicely".
Feel free to start a food diary. There are a few posts where people are keeping track of what their toddlers/preschoolers eat and get ideas as well.

[Mummy P]

Hi Speechie

thank you so much for replying.

his bottles are with nipple.  i always say to him, that in the daytime he can have milk in a cup but he always refuses. i even leave milk out for him in a cup while he plays, in the hope he might drink it but he doesn't.

i will try out the "here take this last bite of........then you can leave the table" that sounds good. and i'll take a look at the food diary posts too.

thanks again!

mummy p

[speechie]

you are very welcome- have you tried a sippy cup and ditching the bottles all together? Someone else who has gone through this would know better than I do...sorry I'm not much help with that one!

[speechie]

here is the link for the preschooler food diary pages...
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=142111.0

[Mama2boys]

I think part of the priority should be ditching the bottle, its probably not very good for his teeth.

We went cold turkey with DS. but for 1 bottle at a time. I introduced him to a straw cup and since your LO is old enough to understand you could try explaining that the bottle and nipple can harm his teeth and he should move to drinking with a straw.

So we moved away form am bottle as that's when he is hungriest so he had no choice but to start drinking from the straw and did the same with the night bottle slowly.

As far as veggies and fruits is concerned I know there are threads which could help. and will be back alter with more information.

[Spectra]

About the sippy cup/bottle - I had to go cold turkey too.  The first day she fought hard on it, but the second day she was completely fine.  She was 18 months at the time. 

As for the meals, my daughter seems to do the same thing.  I find it really works in making sure she has NO snacks, or milk, only allowed water, for at least 2 hours before meal time.  Even if she has a glass of milk she won't be that hungry.

Not sure about how to get him to eat more fruit/veg.  My daughter is very picky, but she just recently started trying new foods when I ask her to take just one bite.  Sometimes she'll only take one bite, and sometimes she'll like it and eat more of it.

[Mimi 2]

Have you tried getting him involved in the preparation of the meals/snacks?  I know that when I get dd involved (picking out the new veggies/fruits, washing, cutting, etc) she is more likely to try it.  Sometimes it also helps to exaggerate the benefits of certain food.  Right now, dd is really keen on wanting to be a fast runner so I told her that onions & garlic will help her run very fast.  So far she's buying it. 

[Mama2boys]

ditto. We have something athst good for everything and carrots are good for eyes, and broccli for the brain and beetroot for blood and so on and DS likes that ...so far

[waffler]

We do the whole "carrots help you see in the dark, just like Peter Rabbit" and it kinda works. She will eat a lot, but not veggies as such, so they are hidden, although we always give her some at meals.

my DD (who is 34mths) is still on a bottle, and I am in no rush to tell her to get off it. She drinks for something like 5 mins tops twice a day. Although for her birthday, I am going to get her a special Milk Sippy Cup and see if she wants to switch

[mum101]

hi, welcome to the boards.   

You are right on the ball by being relaxed and calm about food. I think anyone who had to sit down and eat under pressure would be put off. 

My first thought was to reduce down the milk he has before bed, perhaps even it out to 5oz. He may just hold out for that one.

My other thought is to make food fun. Does he help prepare things?  Can he make his own pizza and try and make a smiley face on it with olives, capsicum, tomatoes etc?  There are lots of options for making food fun without the need for rewarding with biscuits etc.  Rewarding with a biscuit on occasion is not terribly bad, but if there is another way it's worth a try. I find that kids are more willing to try or eat something they have created, but also that they have seen what goes into it.  They have a vested interest perhaps. It has been made familiar to them before they are expected to eat it (even in a calm non-pressure environment).

He may also just not be a big eater!  How is his weight and height on the 'charts'? Keeping in mind the charts don't always mean much, but certainly if he's up pretty high he's getting what he needs.

Can't help you with any plans to remove the bottle, but I'd suggest even if you reduce down the content it will make him hungry for other foods. You could water down the content of the night bottle, or just gradually reduce the level. 

By rights he should be 'eating to his own appetite' so he should want more other foods in the day as time goes on. 

[Mummy P]

thanks to all you 'mums' for the advice and will i try out the suggestions. the advice reminds me that your i'm not alone!