Hi! My son’s 28 months and he’s always been a poor sleeper. We’ve been through better and worse phases, including him sleeping through the night for a short period of time. But in the last couple of weeks the situation’s been getting dramatically worse and that’s why I need your advice.
Igor settles relatively independently. During the day he sleeps like an angel - after the wind down routine I put him into his crib and leave the room. Usually he calls me once, I enter the room and say it’s time to sleep, stroke his head and leave again. Then he settles on his own within 10-15 min and sleeps soundly until I wake him 2 hrs later. In the evenings it takes a bit longer for my son to settle, my husband needs to go into his room twice or three times (it seems to be my son’s idea of fun to be standing up in the crib and calling his father), but eventually Igor falls asleep relatively independently within 30 min at the most. BUT - unlike the nap time – he doesn’t sleep well at all. As a matter of fact he wakes up many times during the night. Let’s take the last night. He was asleep at 8.30 pm and during the first 2,5 hrs of his sleep he woke up 4 times!!! Then he woke up once more at 1.50 am and again at 2.25 – altogether it makes 6 times, a bit rough for one night! After the last NW he stayed awake for 1 hour and fell asleep not until 3.30 am. It’s not always this tough, but there is definitely a pattern – Igor wakes up mainly before midnight, i.e. in the first 3-4 hours of his sleep. After midnight he wakes up once or even sleeps through until 6-7 am.
When he wakes up he’s whining. I always give him a chance to settle back independently but he rarely does so, instead he starts crying and calling “mama”. Then I enter his room, say it’s time to sleep, mummy sleeps in the other bedroom and he settles almost immediately. My idea is to reassure him that he’s safe and not alone. However, sometimes he doesn’t fall asleep right away and the situation recurs after a few minutes. When this happens I wait longer before I go in; he knows already that I’m there, after all, and IMO he should settle back on his own. However, he does hardly ever so and eventually I must go again.
It looks like Igor wakes up in the middle of the night (why?) and yells for me or my husband as long as it takes to break our determination not to go (which he succeeds each time). His last set of molars is not in place yet, admittedly, but I wouldn’t blame all tough nights on teething – when I see that my son tries to settle again and again but can’t fall asleep during a reasonable time I give him medicine (like the last night). But in the majority of cases Igor settles back the moment he sees me entering the room, so it seems to me that there are other reasons for these NWs than teething.
His routine has been relatively steady for a longer time and worked for us in the past:
6-7 am WU
5-5,5 hrs A-time
2 hrs nap (usually until 2.30-3 pm)
5 hrs A-time (including dinner)
7.30-8 pm bath, bedtime, asleep at 8.30-9pm
We tried different scenarios (e.g. shorter A-time in the evening and accordingly earlier bedtime) but it didn’t affect the NWs and only caused an earlier WU, which I don’t fancy (Igor sleeps usually no more than 10 hrs in the night).
I’m very tired and desperate in need of sleep. In addition I’m due with a second baby in June and we must solve the problem till that time. I can’t imagine how to handle this situation with a newborn and therefore need your advice, please. Any help would be appreciated.
