Is this normal?

[shark]

DS first started STTN at 9.5m.  Then at 10.5m he got a really bad cold and had lots of NW/EW long daytime naps etc... When he got better, we had to re-train him to STTN.  It took about 1 week with NWs for him to get back to STTN. 
At 12m he got sick again and with vomitting/diarrhea was up several times a night and his schedule was all over the place.  Now he's healthy again and we're having NWs again.

When we originally trained him to STTN, we would check on him after 2-3min, go in give him a hug lay him back down and tell him that it was still night time and he had to go back to sleep.  We would repeat this ever 10min until he fell back asleep.  It generally took 3-4 times for him to settle back to sleep.  We did this same thing again after illness number one and we're trying it again now.  However, now we have the additional problem of some seperation anxiety and the fact that he has started daycare.  He is also older and stronger and more tenacious and we find that he is often still screeching after 45-50min of this.  Last night I gave in after 50min, took him downstairs and cuddled him for 15min then he went back to sleep without a peep.

Should we stick to the original plan or should I take him out and cuddle him for a few minutes.  My gut says that cuddling is the wrong thing to do as it will reinforce this bad behavior.  However, at the same time I'm just not sure...does he need more Mommy time since daycre or am I just guilt ridden?

Do other babes need complete re-training after illnesses too?  What about the next time he gets sick?  Being in daycare, I know this is only the begining of a long string of illnesses.  I can't imagine having to do this again and again every few weeks!

Help!

[linfran]

One thing I found (my ds is 3yo and has been in daycare since 5mo) is as he gets older and more active we had to adapt his bedtime and winddown routine appropriately.  One thing to bear in mind about daycare is that he will be doing a whole lot more new stuff and there is probably a lot more activity and people about than he was used to at home.  The illness thing can really mess up the routine, and yes it takes time to get back on track, but perhaps it would be better to offer the reassuring cuddle time as part of his getting ready for bed?  Or would this make any difference?  If it were me I would do the cuddling thing as it sounds like he has a lot on his plate to get his head around.

I guess its a fine line between offering reassurance and giving in to a little dictator!!!!! 

[jess, lukeys_mom]

just moving this over to sleeping for toddlers for you

[shark]

Our bedtime routine has been the same since he was 3m old.  Bath, PJs, bottle (cuddled in my or DHs lap), then off to bed (takes appx 30min).  I suppose I can add some cuddles before bath time but some days we get home from daycare and are straight into our routine.

"I guess its a fine line between offering reassurance and giving in to a little dictator!!!!!  "
BOY YOU SAID IT!!!

[linfran]

Being a slave to the old daycare ourselves it sometimes feels there aren't enough hours in the day.  One interesting thing (I think!) you said was that you're home from daycare and practically straight into the bedtime routine - what with SA going on, maybe taking a little extra time in the evening so he has a chance to settle in at home again?

Just a thought, I know from experience it's really hard (in my case I begrudge having to send ds to daycare five days a week, they see more of him than I do!!!).

[shark]

sigh...a whole weekend and a NW every night.  He continues to be difficult to settle.  This was abit of an abnormal weekend in that I had to work all day/night saturday so I didn't see him much on saturday and then spent half the day sunday sleeping so I didn't see him much then either.  He spent the whole weekend pretty much with DH... which shouldn't be a bad thing!  DH took 6m of paternity leave this past year and was DSs primary caregiver from 4-10m. So I know he has all te love and attention he needed over the weekend...just no mommy time.

I have the next 2 days off so I'll try to spend as much time as possible with DS (though I'll probably have to send him to daycare for a few hrs each day to do some errands).  We'll see what happens.

Thanks for the support!

[linfran]

You're welcome pet, keep posting and let me know how you all get on!

[shark]

Sigh, daycare strikes again!  Still not back into a routine and DS came down with another fever.  As long as we keep him full of tylenol/ibuprofen he seems OK, but when the meds wear off he gets tired/lethergic/irritable/feverish.  More NWs with high temp the last 2 days.  Maybe this is his cunning way of avoiding daycare and getting more mommy time?

daycare illness count: in 3.5 weeks of daycare, we've had 2 fevers and a gastro...

[linfran]

They learn the tricks quickly!!!

That was one of the big bugbears I had with daycare, for the first si months ds picked up everything going.  And then passed it on to me (I ended up with five chest infections needing antibiotics over that six month period - yay)!

Having said that after those first few months he stopped picking up so much and nowadays he's pretty hardy.  I really do believe that all kids go through this to build up their immunity and if it doesn't happen at this early stage it'll certainly happen when they go to school, which I reckon would be worse because they'd be missing out on learning.

[shark]

Glad to know other people have been through this...and survived!

[jess, lukeys_mom]

just adding - we had a similar experience with day care. we were all sick just about every week for the first 4 months, and since then it's been very rare that he gets anything! good luck, sorry your lo's not well x

[linfran]

That's the wonderful thing about bw, even if you can't get a solution, it's nice to know someone else on here will have lived through exactly the same thing!

[shark]

Just an update, daycare got us again, this time ear infection + super high fevers.  Fortunately, once the antibiotics kicked in and he was feeling better he seems to have fallen back into his regular routine just fine. 

[linfran]

Good man himself, he's getting the hang of it!!

Glad to hear he's settling.