New BW needs advice

[jdonalds]

Hello BWers!  I am very happy to have found this community and the EASY technique!  I am looking for advice on helping my LO - there are connections to be found I'm sure but I am having a hard time seeing them.

My son is 11 weeks old and a very large lad - 13 pounds!  He used to nap only in a sling, stroller or car seat - that changed so that the only thing he did sleep in was the sling.  He would not go to bed in his bassinette at bedtime, we had to sling him and then transfer him to bed.  He never slept more than 4 hours consistently.

Over the past few days he has moved from the bassinette in our room to his own crib, begun going to sleep at 7 and making it so long that I can actually try a dream feed, and the 4S routine has improved how he goes down for naps.  I have majorly reduced his stimulation and continue to do so by eliminating more toys, lights etc. and watching time of day.  I am also pumping to increase my milk supply to keep up with his growing!  The naps though, are the major issue that I see in his patterns.  The first day he napped very well, and his nighttime was pretty good.  It has gotten progressively worse, and along with it his nighttime sleep as he gets so OT.

I read an old post by Deb in the FAQ section http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=649.0 about how Tracy helped her LO with 45 minute naps, and I was struck by how similar the story was to mine.  My LO also has reflux like her child did.  Meds have kicked in and we are doing much better now.  He also cannot stay awake for more than an hour, and is addicted to the pacifier.  He goes down easy and awake for his naps, but ALWAYS wakes after 40-45 minutes.  Sometimes I can shh pat him back to sleep, but more often not.  I am trying to get him to eat more at each feeding to tackle his approach to three months, but he won't take more and reading Deb's post was the first time I had heard of the light feeding (Tracy had her give the baby a light feed during A time before nap).  It seems doable for us.

I have also tried to sneak in at 30 minutes in and watch for the paci, but all I end up doing is waking him up even earlier!  I think my next step is to stay in the room for the whole time watching for that dang paci.

Any other advice?  Here is our EASY schedule right now:

7 wake and feed
7:30 - 8:00 diaper and quiet play with Dad
8:00 nap
8:40 wake from nap and attempt to shh-pat
10:00 feed
10:30 - 11:00 diaper and quiet play with mom (walking in sling, doing laundry etc)
11:00 - 11:15 stare at mobile
11:15 nap
12:00 wake from nap and attempt to shh-pat
12:50 - feed
1:30 - diaper and play
1:50 or so - read quietly
2:00 - 2:15 – nap
3:00 wake from nap and attempt to shh-pat
4:00 feed
4:45 - 5:00 go down for cat nap
5:30 - 5:45 wake and have bath
6:00 - feed
6:30 - sleep
10:00 - dreamfeed attempt (he sometimes wakes before)
2:15 - 2:45 am - feed
5:30am - wake and shh pat back to sleep.

Thank you!
~jen

[lilac83]

Hi Jen! Welcome to BW!

Normally the first A time of the day is the shortest. It looks like his may be too short though right now and that's why he's only taking a 40 minute nap. I would try to increase that by 10 minutes and see if he'll sleep longer. Then after the first nap his A time is over 2 hours, WAY too long for an 11 week old after a good nap much less after a short one. So I think that next 45 minute nap is OT. So, if he still takes a short nap after the lengthened A time, then I would aim to have him back asleep 1 hour after waking for the second nap.

His EASY routine may not fall in the perfect E-A-S order for a bit until he starts taking longer naps. As long as he's not feeding to sleep consistently though (don't worry if it happens occasionally) it will be fine.

HTH!

[jdonalds]

Thank you!  I've started lengthening his first wake up which seems to be working so far 1.5 hours yesterday and 2 today for that first nap!  The rest are still short but it's success.  A couple of follow up questions - when we say awake time is that counting how long he feeds?  Also we are thinking of trying the 3 month old version of PUPD from BWSAYP to help extend his naps as shhpat is losing effectiveness when he wakes too early.  Opinions?

[lilac83]

Excellent news about that first nap! What A time are you using before this nap? The first A time can sometimes be the shortest. So, if the same A time is producing a short nap in the afternoon, try increasing it by about 15 minutes. A time is the entire time the LO is awake, so yes it includes feeding time.

How are you doing the sh/pat right now? Are you leaving him in his crib or do you lift him? You can lift him to settle him using sh/pat and once he's settled put him back in the crib and continue sh/pat. Do you think the pat part is keeping him from falling asleep? Instead of the pat you can apply gentle pressure, this can be more calming sometimes. PU/PD isn't generally used until the LO is at least 4 months (I know there's some contradictions in the books about this).

[jdonalds]

I had just extended the awake time by 10-15 minutes to 1hr 15 min using something very calm, even just holding him and walking around, or looking at his mobile or reading.  Seems to have worked - this morning it wasn't possible as he was soooo cranky and he went right back to the 45 min morning nap!  Argh.

I have found that about the pressure as well - he seems to like it when I put pressure on back and chest and then I slowly try to release one of them - my back is totally shot from leaning over the crib!

Some more questions about dealing with this issue.  Since these short naps seem to be continuing I need to know how to best deal with them so that we don't end up perpetuating the problem through the whole day.  How long should I keep trying to put him back to sleep afterwards?  Unless he is giving me hungry cues or is wide awake and happy I generally keep going until the next feed, or if I lose patience before then I add an extra quiet A time.  But I find that this may create more of an issue because then he has been up and screaming for so long, and then he should go back to sleep right after his feed as he is exhausted.  EASY isn't easy on 45 min. naps.

[lilac83]

What you may need to do until he grows out of the 45 minute naps is do an EASAS routine. So say he's awake for 1hr but then only sleeps 45min, there's still about 1.5hrs until the next feed. So have him asleep after another hour of A time and do another nap. His feed may go a bit longer than 3hrs, just make sure he doesn't go past 4hrs.

The 45 minute nap is largely a developmental issue at this age. You will find loads of LO's between the ages of 2-4 months only sleeping for 45 minutes. Most of the time they grow out of this on their own when they go to 2 naps. Hopefully though by finding his ideal A time and teaching him how to self settle, he will grow out of this quickly. Keep working on that A time extension with him, he'll get used to it soon.

I only tried to resettle for about 15/20 minutes after DD would wake. I just didn't have the patience to stand over her crib in a dark room for what felt like the entire day! Plus I really didn't like her to cry for that long. It was summer here when DD was young so I would put her in her stroller and go for a short walk. This way she would be having a calm A time and I could get out of the house. Sometimes she would fall asleep in the stroller. She seemed to sleep better in her carseat at this point (which was what she was in, it attaches to the stroller), so this also helped her catch up on some sleep. If they get too OT it's near impossible to do any sleep training.

So, definitely keep up the good work on using the sh/pat/pressure, but don't worry if you need a break and want to take him for a walk/car ride.

[jdonalds]

Thank you thank you thank you!  That was what I needed to hear - we had a horrible day yesterday.  Bless you for the help you are giving to all of us who need it.  I will keep trying and I will relax a bit more about shh/patting for so long!

{{hugs}}

~jen

[lilac83]

You're very welcome! I hope today has gone better for both of you.