screaming before naps and won;t take them anymore

[Sabine]

My 9 mo old refuses to take naps.  I am at my wits end.  I dont know what else to do.  Our routine hasn't changed except she screams in her crib for naps now.  In order to get her to sleep the last 2 days, I have had to take her for a walk and then will only sleep 45min.  Is it separation??  She only does it for naps.  Bedtime is okay.

This is her routine:
6-630 wake and bf
730 breakfast (cereal and fruit)
900 (used to sleep no problem 1-1.5hrs) now same routine, stories and music and bed then will scream for 20min or more then after 30min will take for a walk then will sleep 40min
10-1030 bottle EBM
12 lunch
1230-1 nap (used to be 1.5hrs same as above without walk)
230 bottle EBM
500 supper
630 bottle and bed--no problems for bedtime
willl get a bottle at 11 and still wake 1-2 times at night..we areworking on this too.

Why the sudden change for naps?  Nothing else has changed ...what is happening?

[Mashi]

It could be that she is ready for a bit more awake time before her first nap.  If she wakes at 630, then 9am might be too early.  My DS is a bit younger and he's just starting to stretch to 2hr45min for his first A time (which was consistently 2hr30min until a few days ago). Most days - some times he does still want the shorter A time.  But, on days when he can go 2hr45min, if I try to put him down earlier, he does the same - screams and cries, and then even though he gets to the point of tired, he's too worked up from screaming and gets OT then does a short nap.  Could you try stretching her out a bit? Then cut that nap to an hour to ensure she is tired enough for a good, long afternoon nap? 

[Sabine]

i tried that too but...same thing only worse. 

[Sabine]

anyone have a similar experience. please?

[~Alexa~]

Hi Sabine!! I'm sorry you are having a tough time!! Big hugs!!

I agree with Mash...I think your DD may need more A.  It is very typical to experience big jumps in A times at this age.  One day they are fine with 2.5 hrs and then, they just seem ready to handle 3.5 hrs. I know it is amazing, but it is very common.
So I would try to stretch the As by adding 15 min every 3 days.  When your lo starts having a longer nap, then you can stop the increments.

At this age, you will have to limit one of the naps.  You will have to choose which nap you want to be the shortest. You can let your lo sleep as long as she wants for the am nap, and then have a short pm catnap, and then bedtime. 
Or...You will have to wake her up from the am nap, and try to have a long pm nap so she makes it till bedtime well rested.  So, you can either leave the am nap as it is (short), and then work on the second A so she gets a long pm nap...or work on extending the first A, and have a longer am nap, and keep a short pm nap. 
Let us know what you decide so Mash and I can help you out in tweaking your routine so we get things right. 

About those NWs...What is going on? When do they happen? Do you feed her? How do you put her to sleep? Is your lo an independent sleeper for naps? Is she paci addict?

You can post your routine daily so we can take a look and help you tweak it!
Hang in there hun!! We will get things right.

Alexa

[Mashi]

Other things to think about -- is she teething? Teeth have an annoying way of only causing little ones discomfort when they lie down and start to relax. They can be distracted from it during their play time but have little to focus on besides that when they are trying to sleep.  Even if it is just the shifting under the gums that is starting, I have found that is much worse than the actual cutting of the teeth for my LO.

When I take my DS up to bed, if he isn't asleep (or in that zoned-out-and-going-to-be-asleep-any-minute stage) after about 5 minutes, I get him up. If he's playing around in his cot then he will get too worked up and never calm down, and if he decides to have a scream because he's sooo mad about going to bed, it's not going to get me anywhere.  I get him up, take him back to where I sit for wind-down and continue on with the wind-down, where he sits on my lap and he looks at a cloth book that he has.  Usually I will get a yawn 5-10 minutes later and then we try again. It beats listening to him cry, and if he does get into screaming mode, he will cry well past when he is tired and then end up so overtired that he takes a short nap. 

Does any of that help at all?

[Sabine]

Thanks for all the advice.  Sorry for the delay in reply but my little lo is MSPI and was sick and in hospital but now back home. 

Alexa:  I am trying to break the NW's.  She isn't taking in as much solids anymore and I need to cut these out.  I work and TBH I need sleep to b/c DH won't get on board.  So...I am on my own.  I know this is bad.  Last night had a big bottle of EBM and formula (in process of switching to nutramigen) 8oz and woke at 1130.  we would usually give a feed here too.  tried to get her to go back to sleep, changed, PU/PD, rub back etc.  started biting at my cheek (what she does when wants to nurse).  took 3oz of EBM and formula mix and fell asleep until 4:50 am.  BF at 5am and fell back asleep until 615.  Today her nap started windown at 910 and in bed by 915 but cried until 940 when she concked out.  she's still sleeping and its 11am.  I will try for a longer A time maybe 3.15 to start and then 3.5.  If she has a short am nap do I give a shorter A time for the 2nd nap?  what if long am nap, do A times stay the same or change?

[~Alexa~]

Hi there!! (((BIG HUGS hun))) How is your lo doing now?

There is a major growth spurt at 9 mo!! Do you think your lo may be hungry during the nights and that's why she wakes up?

About the As...I agree with you.  Try 3 hr A time first thing in the morning, if you get a good am nap then go for 3.5 hr before the pm nap.  If the pm nap is short, then go for 2.75-3 hr before bedtime. (if the am nap is short then also have 2.75-3hrs A after it)
You will have to watch your lo's tired cues...If she looks really tired before those As, then put her down for a nap. 

[Mashi]

i tried that too but...same thing only worse. 

Just something I thought of when I read back on this post -- yesterday I tried cutting my LOs first nap to 45 minutes and it made a bit of a muck up of the rest of the day. My first thought was "ARGH well, THAT didn't work!" and then was reminded by a BWer who is much cleverer than I, that things like this usually take 3 days to have any effect.  Just one day isn't enough to "reset" your LO's system.    So, can you continue to gently stretch her morning A time before her naps?
For instance, yesterday I was DETERMINED to get my LO down for a late afternoon catnap because they day went so poorly and he just screamed his head off. Like, really really SCREAMED.  I got him out of his cot, put him with his toys and tears were forgotten, started playing happily. It's the only way he had to tell me that he did not WANT to go to bed.  I had decided he was tired, but he sure hadn't decided that!

Just a thought.....